I think I'm falling in love... (1 Viewer)

[Anders Englund]

... with my wife's best friend. Yea, it sounds like Ricki Lake, but I'm serious. And I feel pretty bad about it.
My wife and I don't have a great relationship. I still love her, but the feeling is not mutual. We also have two children. We don't fight all the time, we actually get along much better than most couples we know. We just don't have that.. thing anymore, so we're more like friends or maybe brother and sister.
Anyone have any good advice?
--Anders

 

[Michael Mathius]

It's not worth it. Too much drama for all parties involved.
I don't know how long you have been married but most couples go through highs and lows in their relationships. Atleast I sure as hell have.
Your marriage can't be all that bad since you said " We don't fight all the time, we actually get along much better than most couples we know. We just don't have that.. thing anymore, so we're more like friends or maybe brother and sister." That friendship you talk about between you and the wife says a ton to me.
It seems that you are looking for romance in a relationship and think that you will find it with the best friend. You may indeed find that but are you willing to risk everything else that you have with your family.
BTW is ok to lust at the best friend but!!!!

 

[Anders Englund]

Here's another issue... My wife just (as in five minutes ago) handed me divorce papers.

--Anders

 

[Christopher P]

Geez Anders, did you expect that coming, or did that sort of shock your world? It sounds like you will have too much going on in your life to worry about the feelings for your friend's wife. I've never been married, thus never been divorced, but my good wishes are with you my friend.

Chris

 

[Mike boettner]

I am a true believer in fate. This is it, go with it. You need to be happy, do what you must. I myself am going through something similar to this. And that is why i'm driving to Canada next month, to be with my twin flame
Mike!

 

[Anders Englund]

the feelings for your friend's wife.

Actually, it's my wife's friend...

My wife actually knows I had feelings for her friend, and she wasn't surprised or angry. But when I told her about it, I though those feeling were gone. Obviously they weren't.

--Anders

 

[Andrew W]

It may be too late, but you could try renting "The Sex Monster" with Marial Hemingway. (Well, that's what you get asking for advice on a HT board....!)

 

[Anders Englund]

Well Andrew, you didn't offer any practical advice, but you sure made me feel better. Thanks!
--Anders

 

[Nick Sievers]

How old are the 2 children, Anders? Will they be fine through all this? Last year when my parents seperated, I was fine with it (i'm 20) - but I have a 15yr old sister who was crushed by the whole thing.

 

[Cam S]

Anders, sorry to hear this man. Hopefully the kids will be fine through all this, I know (not from personal experience) that divorce can be real tough on the younger kids, hell, even the older ones! Try to keep what friendship you DO have with your wife (ex-wife?), and if you feel that there is something there between you and your wife's friend, then by all means, go for it. Right now, what matters most is that your happy, and your kids are happy and comforted as well. Best Wishes

 

[Anders Englund]

How old are the 2 children, Anders? Will they be fine through all this?

They're 1 and 3, and I'm sure they'll be fine. Like I said, we probably won't separate, just divorce (yea, it sounds strange, but it's not my idea). If we don't separate, I doubt it's much of an issue to them.

And thanks, everyone. I don't quite know what to do yet, but you guys are a real help. Make's me feel better.

--Anders

 

[AviTevet]

I would advise not pursuing the wife's friend. It's just bad policy to date friends of ex's, because one relationship almost always ends badly. It could be you and the wife, you and the friend, or the wife and the friend, but it's almost guaranteed.

 

[teapot2001]

How does your wife's friend feel about you?

~T

 

[Ryan Wright]

Anyone have any good advice?

Yeah, read AviTevet's post. Perfectly said.

 

[Anders Englund]

How does your wife's friend feel about you?

I don't know. I don't wanna ask until I know how what to do. But we do get along fine, apart from the fact that I feel somewhat uncomfortable in her presence.

--Anders

 

[KyleS]

I am a big believer that you should wait till your divorced before acting on your impulses. Let your wife have the divorce then go after the friend if you wish to at that time but make sure you put the kids above yourself. The 1 year old will not know what is going on but be careful with the 3 year old... Best of luck.

KyleS

 

[Anders Englund]

Let your wife have the divorce then go after the friend if you wish to at that time but make sure you put the kids above yourself.

I always do.

Ok guys, I've been holding out on you: My wife's friend is not single. She has a boyfriend (whom I know she doesn't love). However, while my wife has told me she doesn't love me, the friend has not told her boyfriend. They also have two kids, the same age as ours.

--Anders

 

[Philip_G]

dun dun DUN
sorry, I tried to think of something wise to say and I obviously couldn't

 

[BrianB]

It's simple, Anders, stay away.

 

[Max Leung]

This is a very gripping soap opera. I can't wait until the next episode!
Who will get the HT equipment? Tune in next time...