Stupidest song lyrics ever (1 Viewer)

[Mike Broadman]

Being mentally challenged and singing about it

doesn't make you an artist.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tori Amos has been doing it for years.

I think he meant that being mentally challenged alone doesn't make you an artist.

I don't think I've heard this Willis fellow (though I've heard of him and maybe a couple of songs), so I'm not going to say anything about him, but Tori Amos is musically gifted. I'm not a fan, but the gal has talent. That's what makes her an artist.

 

[Kevin J Willis]

Kirk, I have never heard of jerry jeff walkers version of "Up against the Wall", but I have a version by Bobby Bare. That is one unique country song.

 

[Brian Bunn]

I hear this song at work on the Muzak every now and then and it just drives me crazy! One of the worst songs I have ever heard. I have no idea who sings it nor the name of the song but here is a bit of the stupid lyrics:

I don't want to hear that song again,

From the night that we first met.

I don't want to look into your eyes,

'Cause you know what happens then.

We'll be making love and then,

We'll fall all over agian.

UUUGGGHHH!!! Can it get any more sappy than that? And the song itself, and the singing...man, how did something like that ever get recorded and put on record?

Anybody have any idea about this song? Not that I really need to know, but I'm just curious.

 

[Kirk Gunn]

Kevin - it's a live cut on JJW's Viva Terlingua album.

I recently learned it on acoustic gee-tar because it makes a great sing-a-long ! (after a few lagers...)

M is for the mudflaps you put on my car

O is for the oil I put in my hair

T is for T-Bird

H is for Haggard (RIP)

E is for eggs, and

R is for (everyone together now...) REDNECK !!!!

 

[Kevin J Willis]

Uh, Haggard is still alive. Waylon Jennings died recently. For some reason, people have gotten the two mixed up and people have been saying that Merle Haggard died. Why, I don't know. And yes, it's a great sing-a-long song.

 

[mike caronia]

How about a little DMX, if you just read it, it's hysterical. His delivery makes it seem cool though:
If I gotsta bring it to you cowards then it's gonna be quick, aight
All your mens up in the jail before, suck my dick
and all them other cats you run with, get done with, dumb quick
How the fuck you gonna cross the dog with some bum shit? Aight
There go the gun click, nine one one shit
All over some dumb shit, ain't that some shit
Y'all niggaz remind me of a strip club, cause everytime
you come around, it's like (what) I just gotta get my dick sucked
And I don't know who the fuck you think you talkin to
but I'm not him, aight slim? So watch what you do
Or you gon' find yourself, buried next to someone else
and we all thought you loved yourself
But that couldn't have been the issue, or maybe
they just sayin that, now cause they miss you
Shit a nigga tried to diss you
That's why you layin on your back, lookin at the roof of the church
Preacher tellin the truth and it hurts

 

[MatthewA]

One episode of Futurama used the song "Baby Got Back," and I thought I heard:

"I like big butts in a can, not lye."

I know that's the wrong lyric, but that would be better than that song. And if it weren't on Futurama I never would have heard it.

 

[Kirk Gunn]

Kevin - DOH !!! Big dope slap on that one.... I won't edit my post as a tribute to my inaneness. Better go drink some of that "Falstaff Beer".

 

[JerryE]

I always thought the lyrics to "I Can't Put My Finger On It" by The Housemartins were just a tad stupid:

As Martin said to Xanthe

As they played with wooden toys.

"You may have Wendy's playhouse,

But where the hell's your boy?"

As Paul said to Fifi

As they eyed each other up,

You may have better plimpsoles

But you can't pee standing up."

And I'd like to take time to bite

Their neck and make it bleed

Or maybe I could cut holes in their

Daddy's Harris Tweed

Chorus:

And I can't put my finger on it

Maybe it's something in their food

And I can't put my finger on it

All I know Christ would've sued.

As Sharon said to Jamie

As they sat down for a chat

"If you think I'm cooking dinner,

Well, prepare to eat dead rat."

As Debbie said to Alex

As they held hands in the park,

"How comes you wear Rupert Check

When you think you're so hard."

I should've done his Land Rover

To let him know I'd been,

Instead I wrote "F' off"

On the dirt across his screen

Chorus.

I wish I'd let them know I was here

A drop of arsenic in the wine,

Sulfuric acid in the beer.

 

[RobertW]

I'm always stunned by the sheer poetic brilliance of a single line from the mostly forgettable Van Hagar song the name of which I have forgotten:

"Only time will tell if we stand the test of time..."

Staggers the imagination...

Jimmy

god, that is my most hated lyric in all of music. just so stupid.

right up there with this one from melisa etheridge:

"and the night is black

black as night"

 

[SteveA]

Take Heed

'Cause I'm a lyrical poet

Miami's on the scene

Just in case you didn't know it

My town

That created all the bass sound

Enough to shake and blow holes in the ground!

Ice Ice Baby!

 

[JasenP]

In my opinion, the entire U2 catalog of "songs" belongs in this thread. Here is just a sample of the "if we record it they'll buy it" philosophy that Bono and the boys have refined to a high art:
From "Lemon"
See through in the sunlight
She wore lemon
But never in the daylight
She's gonna make you cry
She's gonna make you whisper and moan
And when you're dry
She draws her water from the stone
Also from "Lemon"
Midnight is where the day begins
Midnight is where the day begins
Midnight is where the day begins
This is from the heavy rotation hog "Beautiful Day"
You're out of luck
And the reason that you had to care
The traffic is stuck
And you're not moving anywhere
Want some older fluff?
From "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For"
I have kissed honey lips
Felt the healing in her fingertips
It burned like fire
This burning desire
This gem is from "Out of Control"
One day I'll die
The choice will not be mine
Will it be too late
You can't fight it
Yes, ladies and gentleman the same nose that sang these lyrics belongs to the "European Of The Year" who for some unknown reason ended up on the cover of the most recent issue of Time??!!
Once again, Negativland Rules!!

 

[Greg_C_T]

Only time will tell if we stand the test of time...

I actually like that quote from Van Halen's "Why Can't This Be Love?".
One of my least favorite lines of all time is from Heart's "All I Wanna Do Is Make Love to You" (also an awful song title):
"We walked in a garden, we planted a tree."
*gags*

 

[Jan H]

Agree with the Spice Girls' nomination. "I really, really, really wanna zig-a-zig AAHHHHHHHHHH! If "zig-a-zig AHHHH" means to "projectile vomit whenever that commercial comes on TV", then, yeah, I really, really wanna. Also, how about yet another gem from Yes:

"In and around the lake

Mountains come out of the sky

And they stand there"

Jon Anderson is a Martian.

 

[Mark Romero]

"Peaches come from a can, they were put there by a man in a factory downtown..."

 

[Mark Lee]

"Peaches come from a can, they were put there by a man in a factory downtown..."

But in that case, weren't the lyrics supposed to be stupid? Y'know, wink, wink, and all that?

 

[Mark Romero]

If they were supposed to be stupid, they (POTUS) succeeded. And where are they now??

 

[Dwayne]

Although I used to love this song ages ago, my vote would have to go to Pour Some Sugar On Me.

 

[Carlo_M]

How about the ability to rhyme the words "used to" and "booster"?

As in:

If you're man don' treat ya like he used ta

I kick in like a turbo boosta

From that "I gotta man / What's your man got to do with me?" song that was popular in the early 90's.

 

[GlennH]

Sounds like they mean everybody blow chunks tonight. Nice thought.