Stupidest song lyrics ever (1 Viewer)

[Andrew 'Ange Hamm' Hamm]

I just posted a quote from an obscure punk visionary named Sander Hicks that I've always thought was funny. Here's the whole chorus:

Battleships confide in me and tell me where you are

Shining flying purple wolfhound show me who you are

Top that.

 

[Ike]

Okay:

Shooby doo-wa, and Scooby snacks

I met a fly girl and I can't relax

The most brilliant lyrics ever written by a band known as LFO. Their 2 hits (!) both had brilliant lyrics.

 

[Kirk Gunn]

We can dance if you want to

We can leave your friends behind

Cause your friends don't dance

and if they don't dance

then they're no friends of mine.

Needs to be put in context of the song....

And what the H-ll is a "safety dance" ?

 

[Chris Brunner]

I always cringe when I hear;

"Now my empty cup is as sweet as the punch"

- Along Comes Mary

Maybe more so due to just the way it sounds. ???

C

 

[Mike Broadman]

If you go down to Willow Farm,
to look for butterflies, flutterbyes, gutterflies
Open your eyes, it's full of surprise, everyone lies,
like the fox on the rocks,
and the musical box.
Oh, there's Mum & Dad, and good and bad,
and everyone's happy to be here.
There's Winston Churchill dressed in drag,
he used to be a British flag, plastic bag, what a drag.
The frog was a prince, the prince was a brick, the brick was an egg,
the egg was a bird.
(Fly away you sweet little thing, they're hard on your tail)
Hadn't you heard?
(They're going to change you into a human being!)
Yes, we're happy as fish and gorgeous as geese,
and wonderfully clean in the morning.
We've got everything, we're growing everything,
We've got some in
We've got some out
We've got some wild things floating about
Everyone, we're changing everyone,
you name them all,
We've had them here,
And the real stars are still to appear.

-from the Willow Farm section of Supper's Ready
What the heck is a flutterby?

 

[Mark Lee]

I remember reading some music magazine many years ago that voted The Steve Miller Band's "The Joker" as the stupidest song ever written. I mean, what the hell is a "pompatus"??? A line so baffling, they named an entire movie in honor of it!

 

[Nathan A]

listen to any Wesley Willis song. be prepared to laugh.

 

[Jeffrey Noel]

What the heck is a flutterby?

Mike, from what I have heard, flutterby was the original name for a butterfly. It just got changed. Flutterby actually makes much more sense!

 

[Greg_Y]

Mark Lee, the "pompatus of love" thing was answered years ago by Cecil Adams in his Straight Dope column. Steve Miller didn't invite invent the phrase.
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a4_065.html
EDITED for grammar purposes.

 

[Marc Colella]

One very lame chorus from Yes comes to mind:

Here is my heart
Waiting for you
Here is my soul
I eat at Chez Nous

The last line seems like a desperate attempt at coming up with a rhyme.

 

[Mark Lee]

Greg -

Thanx for the link -- I had actually heard before that Steve Miller had just mis-heard some lyrics to an old song that he nicked for "The Joker," but I couldn't remember what it was.

It's still an astoundingly stupid (though strangely catchy) song, tho.

I'll put in another (couple of) votes, too. This might not be entirely fair, since neither of these groups are native English-speakers, so some wobbly-ness in English lyric-writing might be expected: the German group Trio (authors of the now-legendary "Da Da Da," as well as its companion piece, "Ya Ya") and seminal '80s one-hit-wonder A-Ha's "Take On Me." (What?)

 

[Mike Broadman]

Marc, what song is that? Please tell me it's post-Howe era Yes.

 

[Brian Perry]

"Someone left the cake out in the rain..."
MacArthur Park by Richard Harris. A brilliant song musically with incredibly inane (but funny) lyrics.

 

[Marc Colella]

Mike,

It's definetely a post-Howe era Yes.

It's from their 1987 album titled "Big Generator"... the song is "Love Will Find a Way".

 

[Mike Broadman]

Ah, yes. Big Generator.
"Chez Nous?"

I think that CD "found a way" into my garbage can.
Cheesy lyrics? Anything that DIO sings.
"When there's lightning
You know it always brings me down
Cause it's free and I see that it's me
Who's lost and never found."
Sure, Ron, whatever you say.

 

[David Lawson]

I'm drawing a blank right now, so I'll resort to providing some examples from Dave Barry's Book Of Bad Songs, one of the funniest books in recent memory.
Dan Baird's "I Love You Period":
I love you period.
Do you love me question mark?
Please please exclamation point!
I want to hold you in parentheses.
Neil Diamond's "I Am, I Said":
I am, I said
To no one there
And no one heard at all
Not even the chair.
Mel And Tim's "Backfield In Motion":
I caught you with your backfield in motion, yeah
I'm gonna have to penalize you.
Backfield in motion, baby
You know that's against the rules!

 

[Christian Behrens]

Mark,

seminal '80s one-hit-wonder A-Ha

I don't think that a-ha qualify as a one-hit wonder. Not only did they have more than one hit during their peak, but just two years ago they had another album out, that was not unsuccessful (in Europe, at least):Minor Earth Major Sky
According to the comments on Amazon it seems to be hard to come by. :frowning:
-Christian

 

[Andrew 'Ange Hamm' Hamm]

I don't know if "Willow Farm" really qualifies as syupid lyrics. It is supposed to be absurd and weird, and the music matches it. Genesis of the Gabriel era was always very careful about lyrical choices, unlike Yes which often seemed totally random. Like in "Heart of the Sunrise:"

Quote:

 

[Jimmy Kilgour]

From CCR's Bad Moon Rising:
"There's a bathroom on the right"
Hey,I don't care if it's on the right,left,or down the middle-just show me where the bathroom is,ok?

 

[Ike]

Andrew,

Those lyrics will never top Rock and Roll McDonalds!