Stupidest song lyrics ever (1 Viewer)

[Mark Pfeiffer]

a-ha can't be considered a one-hit wonder since their follow-up "The Sun Always Shines on TV" was a minor hit at that time.

As for stupidest lyrics, none specifically come to mind, but (putting flame suit on) Rush probably has several contenders.

 

[Mark Lee]

Funny you should mention that -- I remember an article many years ago in Creem magazine which, for some reason, was comparing aspects of The Beatles and Rush (i.e. Geddy Lee was an OK bassist, but Paul McCartney'd kick his ass, etc.). And the writer remarked that "OK, 'Birthday' may be a dumb-ass song, but try listening to the words to 'The Temples of Syrinx' sometime."
While I do love a lot of Rush's stuff (I still think Moving Pictures is one of the greatest albums ever), I gotta agree with that "Syrinx" assessment.... I mean, talk about self-indulgent, '70s pseudo-mystical "yeah, whatever"! (hastily donning my asbestos jammies, too.... )

 

[Craig F]

From CCR's Bad Moon Rising:
"There's a bathroom on the right"

ROFL. Ol' JF certainly could use a class on proper enunciation. Another good thread would be misinterpreted lyrics, especially as a kid. I remember my brother thought "The Night Chicago Died" was "The Night the Crocodile" LOL

 

[Jimmy Kilgour]

From a CD I'm absolutely embarassed to have in my collection:Bush's "Sixteen Stone" (I'll have to use that sucker as a target next time I go skeet shooting)a song called "monkey"-

"we deviate our gravy brains

set em on fire they're all the same

I am lionface

no sancho panza

I'm riddled by you

I could've been better

I'm a monkey on a drip

sucker monkey on a drip"

Uh,ok Gavin,time to take your medication.

 

[Andrew 'Ange Hamm' Hamm]

This beast comes out when it is 25 degrees below zero

It's wings can fly as high as a bird

It can break a glass

It can also stab you in the ass

The chicken cow

The chicken cow

The chicken cow

The chicken cow

OK, Wesley Willis is in.

 

[Andrew s wells]

Not sure if obnoxiousness counts... but that song "Roll out" (i think by ludacris) has to be one of the most annoying of all time... "Roll out....roll out...roll out....roll out ..." 21 times in a row! i kid you not.

I can only imagine him (them?) sitting down and writing this song... " yeah man... i need some help with these lyrics...... what do you have so far man?.... well.. "roll out 21 times" alright man. we're sure to have a hit with that one!"

 

[Jimmy Nugent]

I'm always stunned by the sheer poetic brilliance of a single line from the mostly forgettable Van Hagar song the name of which I have forgotten:

"Only time will tell if we stand the test of time..."

Staggers the imagination...

Jimmy

 

[David Lawson]

Andrew, I think The Police repeat "Sending out an S.O.S." at least twice that many times.

 

[Pete B]

Here's one I've always thought was king of the stupid lyrics..."There's a killer in the road

His brain is squirmin' like a toad".. HUH?

From "Riders on the Storm" by the Doors.

Maybe someone could have told Mr. Morrison that just because something rhymes, doesn't mean it makes sense, or is artistic for that matter.

 

[Jon_Are]

From CCR's Bad Moon Rising: "There's a bathroom on the right."

I can't tell if you're serious or not, Jimmy, so I will correct you anyway: the actual words are "There's a bad moon on the rise", which, I think, is an awesome line.

As for bad lyrics, my all-time favorite is from Bobby Goldsboro's "Honey":

"She wrecked the car and she was sad

and so afraid that I'd be mad, but what the heck;

(something something something something

something something something something)

...and she hugged my neck."

(If anyone knows what the 'somethings' are, please chime in.)

Jon

 

[Tom Ryan]

"Only time will tell if we stand the test of time..."

Yes, that one's particularly bad........ranking up there with Ozzy Osbourne rhyming "masses" with the clever "masses" in War Pigs ("...generals gathered in their masses, just like witches at Black Masses...").

-Tom

 

[Shawn C]

Van Halen

Van Halen III (1998)

One I Want

Poorman, he just want a little

Richman, want a little bit more

Superman, he looking for Lois

Salesman, try and sell you his soul

Fatman, he's ordering seconds

Pizzaman, just wanna slice

Badman, looking for attention

A goodman, he's hard to find

Mailman, looking more like your daughter

Strawman, don't have a leg to stand on

Gayman, looking for another

Candyman, yeah the candyman can

Blackman, he looking for justice

Whiteman, try to get a tan

Woman, just wanna fly in first class

Holyman, take me to the promise land

Everyone's looking for something

Wanting their piece of the pie

Searching for their slice of heaven

I gotta have mine, yeah mine

And you're the one I want (the one I want)

The only one I want (the one I want)

Yeah, the one I want (the one I want)

The only one I want (the one I want)

Boogieman, he giving me the creeps

Sandman, kicking mud in your eye

Pianoman, in the mood for a melody

Strongman, yeah he knows how to cry

Apeman, ain't nobody's uncle

A luckyman don't always know who they are

Deadman, living for tomorrow

Wiseman, following a star

Well I ain't saying I'm different

Wanting my pie in the sky

I'm just a little impatient

Until I get mine, yeah mine

And you're the one I want (the one I want)

The only one I want (the one I want)

Yeah, yeah the one I want (the one I want)

The only one I want (the one I want)

Yeah!

The one I want!

The one I want!

The only one I want (the one I want)

The only one I want (the one I want)

Yeah, yeah the one I want (the one I want)

The only one I want (the one I want)

The only one I want (the one I want)

The only one I want (the one I want)

Yeah, yeah the one I want (want)

The only one I want (want)

Yeah, the one I want (want)

Want! Want! Yeah! Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah!

Hey-hey-hey! Oh!

Yeah!

 

[Chas_Michael]

Any and Every Rap Crap!

 

[Mikael Soderholm]

And what the H-ll is a "safety dance" ?

Oh man, don't knock Men Without Hats, I still like them, although I agree, maybe not Nobel Prize material
There are so many other dumb lyrics, but I can't think of any right now...

 

[Andrew 'Ange Hamm' Hamm]

Hmm. I thought those Van Halen lyrics were pretty good...

I second the "Killer on the road / Squirmin like a toad" line. I'm not a fan of Morrison's lyrics at all. Same song:

I weigh 500 pounds I feel silly

My ideals are dead mythological creatures named Billy

My life is one big cologne commercial but not really

 

[Mike Broadman]

Good rap has lyrics that are way better than most rock. Politically savy, tough and smart.

If we're listing songs that repeat the same line ad nauseum, I nominate Jump by House of Pain and Your Move/All Good People by Yes (poor Yes, taking a vicious beating on this thread).

 

[David Lawson]

Does Mexican rap count? From the "so good it's bad" department comes Firme Hina by Proper Dos:

I'm lookin' for a firme hina

A hina fine-a than the average hina

I'll have to dig that one up and see if I can't figure out more of its lyrics.

 

[Kirk Gunn]

Mark - Rush's 2112 album is based on the novel "Anthem" by Ayn Rand. This futuristic novel is set in a totalitarian state, and the "Syrinx" song is meant to be self-indulgent and pseudo-mystical (as most dictatorial rulers are). The song is not meant to be interpreted alone outside the concept of the entire side 1 of the album.

Mikael - are Men Without Hats still around in Europe ? I always expect to see a VH1 "Behind the Music" special about them.....

 

[John_Bonner]

Geddy Lee was an OK bassist, but Paul McCartney'd kick his ass

Yeah, sure, whatever...

I'd like to nominate lyrics from a band I was once in called "Invader". The song was called "Lord Runner", here's an excerpt:

Well they put me in a coffin

And I started coughin'

and later in the song:

We're gonna make all you ladies wanna Scream

We're gonna make all you ladies wanna Cream

I wonder why we never got a record deal??

 

[Mike Broadman]

I posted my newfound interest in Mercyful Fate and King Diamond in another thread. Here's a snippet of what I'm listening to now:

Copulation in the night

Two shadows upon a grave

Screams of pleasure and screams of pain

Young lovers, you must be insane

It's desecration of souls in their holy lair

So I say again: stay away, it's desecration of souls

Ooh, watch out, folks, this is scary stuff. This is the kind of drivel my 13 yr old Goth neighbor kid probably comes up with after getting his ass kicked in junior high school.