Making friends at 25+

Michael Silla

Second Unit
Joined
Jul 27, 2001
Messages
313
I've heard people say that the friends you meet in college are your friends for life. BS for me, but true for others I guess
BS for me too. Listen, all my best friends I met in High school. I can honestly say that I only keep up with 2 of them right now, one of which is getting married this week (mired at work, I simply can't attend). Yes I did make some memorable friends in college, some of whom I could call up today and not feel "wierd" about it. I have made some friends here in Utah, but they don't go as deep as the friends I have back home.

Thanks for this thread. I thought I was alone


Michael.
 

Philip_G

Senior HTF Member
Joined
Nov 13, 2000
Messages
5,030
wow I'm doubly screwed.
I haven't talked to ANYONE from my highschool since graduation night, no long lasting friends there.
I don't have any close friend from college, and I don't forsee meeting any new friends at work.
 

Mike Voigt

Supporting Actor
Joined
Sep 30, 1997
Messages
799
Know how you feel. I have zero contact with folks from High School. From college, I had two roommates for 4 years that disappeared into the ether. One completely gone, one turned into such a strange individual that I cut it loose.

Relly close friends are those through my wife. She met them in college, and they stayed friends. We do quite a bit together, like going to see movies or playing bridge or just have semi-logical philosophical discussions over a really good bottle of wine; right now they're helping decorate the new house. Just got a housewarming present from them, too - a wine fridge. Neat! We also have a Christmas party together, bring friends and families - often have 12-20 people over for that.

In the past, I've found that getting friendships established with coworkers can be difficult. Probably something to do with the fact that you see each other for 8-10 hours a day anyway. Clubs, like softball, volleyball, soccer, golf, or bowling, certainly help. So do church, the neighborhood association, volunteer charities, etc.

Mike
 

MickeS

Senior HTF Member
Joined
Jul 24, 2000
Messages
5,058
I'm in the same situation as most of you guys...

I moved here from Sweden almost 5 years ago, and I really only have 1 good friend here. We work at the same company, next door to eachother, but don't talk hardly at all at work, only when we get together after work. It's a pretty good arrangement actually.


The other people I know here are all through my wife, and I don't really consider them "my" friends.

My other friends are all in Sweden, but I don't have that many friends there either, and all of them are from 1st grade(!) except one, who's from high school. We all lived in the same neighborhood and went to the same school together for at least 9 years... I think I'm gonna have those friends for life, unless something really unexpected happens. I still keep in touch on a regular basis through e-mail, chat and phone, and a couple of them have been here and visited me.

I have a hard time making new friends, basically because I'm too lazy and I like hanging out with my wife, that just feels like it's enough for me these days, along with my "virtual friends" on the Internet.

I also know that I have a tendency to be the one who stops calling or keeps in touch, I'm not really a very good friend when I meet new "potential friends". I think I know why too, I feel like it's easier on me to be the one who keeps the distance, rather than having someone do the same to me. Shitty and lazy probably, but hey, nobody's perfect.

The only time these days that it really bothers me that I have so few friends is on birthdays and stuff... I can't throw any parties or anything, I simply have nobody to invite. Those times I can feel pretty lonely... but my one friend, his wife, and my wife are usually enough to make up for that.
Also, sometimes I want to do things that none of them want to do, and well, the options are limited unless I want to do it alone. At those times, it can feel a bit lonely.

I have been thinking about trying to make some new friends through some activities that I think might be fun to participate in, like target shooting for example, but I just haven't gotten around to it. I'm probably too lazy to take that up too.


/Mike
 

Wayne Bundrick

Senior HTF Member
Joined
May 17, 1999
Messages
2,358
I've lost all track of my friends from high school and college, and so my only friends have been coworkers. And two weeks ago, almost all of my coworker friends were laid off. I'm devastated by it, and while I still have my job, I can't deal with all the empty chairs around me.
 

Steve_Tk

Senior HTF Member
Joined
Apr 30, 2002
Messages
2,833
Well for me, half way through college I got rid of all my high school friends. We had different interest and you couldn't pay me to be around them anymore (Ecstacy is not my ball of yarn). But by the end of school I had a whole new group of great friends that I found through a childhood friend I met up with again.

I would recommend getting in a young apartment complex that always has planned activities. It may sound lame, and I never go to mine because I'm busy, but you can meet a lot of people your age there. Plus, the few that I've been to always have groups of people going back to people's rooms and hanging out, once you have done that once, you can do it again and avoid the "Trust me I'm not hitting on you" thing with other men. Plus, women really love going to these things.

It really is a great way to meet people. If you own your home already, then who knows. You can't meet friends in a bar. You would have to try and join some sort of community. Like the raquetball group at the gym. I've met a lot of great people through that. If you play tennis then join a tennis team. But all this only benefits people that live in big cities.
 

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