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What do you do with a broken heart? (1 Viewer)

Max Leung

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I would recommend trying the meds too, based on the advice of your doctor.

Some things I've learned about Prozac and similar drugs, based on accounts by scientists and individuals that need them:

Prozac does not make you happy. Rather, it "resets" your happiness level to a more neutral point aka "the happiness set point". Some people have a lower happiness set point (leading to depression) while others have a high happiness set point (those freaky always-happy people aka 50's sitcoms). Prozac attempts to raise your happiness set point to the same level as the average person. It cannot make you extremely happy because your brain will not have enough serotonin receptors to make this happen, provided the depression is caused by a lack of serotonin production. Overdosing on Prozac won't turn you into a blubbering laughing idiot, although it would make you feel sick I'm sure!

Prozac can take a while to have an effect. Usually a month I think, perhaps as soon as two weeks (which is why I am somewhat skeptical of that article linked above that blamed Sertraline for a man's murder of his family). A possible reason for this long effect is that the brain may actually be re-linking with the unused serotonin receptors that were neglected for so long.

People who take Prozac, and reported a positive effect, noticed that they felt "normal". Not happy, not depressed, not crippled in any way. Normal. Their mind clears, their motivation returns, and they feel "somewhat happy", which is the average response of non-depressed individuals in a study done recently on happiness. The implication is that the average human being, given a stable environment, is given a "somewhat happy" outlook on life. So, once you have a clear mind and a somewhat happy outlook, you have plenty of brain power left over to deal with the everyday vagaries of life. Nothing more, nothing less.

Some people who take Prozac for a while and later stop taking it, find that their happiness set point starts to drop (and in bipolar cases, gets flung everywhere). Interestingly, once the prozac started having an effect, people would insist that they are fine and no longer need the drug anymore, and then drop it. But unfortunately they found that they had to keep taking it otherwise things start flying out of control. Even meditation won't help these people. No amount of therapy would return them to their Prozacked happiness set point in these cases.

(for a great read on the science of happiness, try to find a copy of "The Science of Happiness" by Stephen Braun -- it contains the most recent findings on depression, anti-depressant drugs, and what science tells us about being happy)
 

Ben LG

Stunt Coordinator
Joined
Jun 30, 2003
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225
Hear are some things I do to keep myself in check:

1. Take one a day vitamins to keep healthy so that my mood does not drop as often.

2. I try to work out daily to keep my blood flowing (good remedy when you are feeling frustrated or angry)

3. Read, read and read especially psychology/human behavior - very interesting.

Its a natural part of life. Depression/sadness->anger->motivation->and finally change/progress.

God knows ive been through it and and still feeling the effects from it and as mentioned before, others have been through it too so you are not alone. Some have it 10x better than you yet others 10x worse. I typed up an entire paragraph but I decided to just include a line from the movie Vanilla Sky:

"The sweet is just never as sweet without the sour."

~One last piece of advice coming from someone who is far from the happiest or gayest person on this planet (take it into consideration), laughter and humor are the only real medicine you NEED ;)
 

Drue Elrick

Stunt Coordinator
Joined
Oct 30, 1998
Messages
101
I'd see your doctor, get some councelling (doesn't have to be a psychiatrist) and make sure you do fun things. Also, buy this book: Feeling Good - The New Mood Therapy by Dr. David Burns. It helps explain alot about depression/anxiety, has techniques to help you cope and change your thinking patterns so that you will deal with your depression and future problems better. Been good for me.
 

Scott_lb

Supporting Actor
Joined
Oct 7, 2002
Messages
592
I didn't read all of the previous posts, so I don't know if my recommendation has already been stated yet. Basically, I broke up with an amazing girl years ago during college and was far lower than "down in the dumps." As stupid as it might sound, what helped me the most was reading a book by Bloomfield called "How to Survive the Loss of a Love." It helped me more than I could have ever imagined. I hope it helps you too. You should be able to find a paperback edition at your local bookstore for about five bucks.

I hope it helps!
 

MarkHastings

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Jan 27, 2003
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Max, your response on Prozac is very accurate.
which is why I am somewhat skeptical of that article linked above that blamed Sertraline for a man's murder of his family
Me too. That would be like a man drinking a glass of milk, murdering his family, and then blaming it on the milk.

Prozac does take a while to get into your system, and once it does, it takes a while for it to get out of your system. If you took Prozac for a few months and stopped "Cold Turkey", you wouldn't start freaking out like people who abruptly quit smoking. The Prozac will stay in your system for weeks.

Max, your point about Prozac not making you happy is also correct. Think of it like Viagra...If a healthy man takes Viagra, it's not going to make him some super stud. It will probably have no effect at all. Prozac is the same way. All it does is boost a 'low' level of serotonin to an 'average' level (and no more than 'average'). You don't feel "happy" like if you drink alcohol or smoke pot. It just stops you from being miserable. You become almost peaceful.

The hardest thing to do when you're depressed is to make yourself happy. Prozac isn't going to make you happy. It balances you out so that you have the ability to make yourself happy.
 

Robert_Z

Screenwriter
Joined
Jun 16, 2002
Messages
1,017
Eve,

I did not read all the replies to your original post, but might I point out that a broken heart is part of life. If you are going to have any kind of life by taking chances and making yourself vulnerable, your heart will be broken a few times along the way.

When a heart breaks, it is because there was love there...that is a good thing. Maybe you should let all that old love dry out, mend your broken heart and fill it with the fresh, exciting, new love of the next wonderful person you decide to let into your life.
 

Chad Isaacs

Supporting Actor
Joined
Feb 20, 2000
Messages
757
Hey "eve' long time,sorry to hear somthing bad is going on.I was on zoloft a little over a year ago and it made me sick and I found out that I was not depressed over the obivous reason,I had already made peace with that,I was fighting off somthing else and once I took care of that i felt alot better.

anyway,if you ever want to see the kids or just go hang out sometime shoot me an e-mail ([email protected])...and remember,I know where you live ;)

Get better!I will be praying for you
 

JonZ

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Dec 28, 1998
Messages
7,799
"I say screw medication, you don't want to be dependent on pills and chemical for your happiness"

A friend of mine whos a therapist recently said I need to go on prozac. Of course my response was "Fucking never!"

I've had a few g/fs (becuase they see the worst of it I guess)tell me I need anti-depression medication. I would never go on pills(but thats just me)
I guess I have a chemical imbalance somewhere becuase Im usually depressed.
I hate Humanity, its greed, shortsightenness and stupidity. I hate society, I hate the hypocrisy, I hate injustice, I hate people, I hate stupid people more. Im not very patient. I have no tolerance for the things I dispise.I would never bring children into a world this shitty.What I see going on now on the planet makes me sick.I believe most people just dont deserve to live and shouldnt be taking up my oxygen....and so on.
If you were to look up the traits of a Scorpio and magnify it x10, its a pretty good description of me (except the jealous/possessive part).
I have bad karma and worse luck - I usually feel like Al Bundy...cursed!

I think money problems are the cause of most of my depression.

I basically accepted the fact Ill never be financially secure. My luck with women, forget it - I must have been Jack the Ripper in a past life(its gotten better as Ive gotten older though)

A few years ago, I hit rock bottom. My friends sister, who I adored, was killed by a jealous b/f. She broke up with him, he chased after her and she lost control of her car trying to get away.
Seeing her lay in a coffin was perhaps the most horrible moment of my life.
I sat there every day for 2 years and watched her family come apart. Her sister and mother are barely functioning without booze and prozac(years later,her brother became so unbearable and out of control that after being like brother to me for 15 years I had to walk away)
I was goin to cripple the guy. I kept tabs on him even though hed left the state. There wasnt enough evidence to do anything about(even though hed followed her and pulled her out of her car before)and the thought of him getting away with no consequence for what he did was unbearable to me.I also was being tormented with guilt- I always had a rule never date ur friends sisters.Finally I said to hell with it. We talked about it and 3 weeks later she was gone.I always felt I could have protected her against the douchbag(he used to call me Benny Blanco from the Bronx and was basically afriad of me and her brother).
I got a gun from a vietnam veteran, my temper went through the roof(I followed and dragged someone out of their car for cutting me off). I had agonizing chest,stomach,and shoulder pains that often brought me to my knees,I had trouble concentrating,my normal insomnia got worse, I got constant headaches.My blood pressure went up to 160/115.I drank.I was unstable and dangeous.I hurt my other friends with my behavior and inconsideration. My best friend in the world broke down on me a few times at my condition. I was on the verge of a mental and physical breakdown. I hated as much as someone possibly can.

When u mix that with a severe depression its a combination that leads to selfdestruction(which is the only reason Im telling u about it.I can relate when to when u say you stop caring if u live or die. I was looking into the abyss:) )

Time does heal all wounds. Eventually the pain and the insanity (which is basically what I was going through)became less.
Anyway, one day I had a epiphony and it was simply this....
Thats life. Theres no reason for anything. Shit just happens.Just live and enjoy it when u can. Try to make the best of it. Be good to yourself. Dont get caught up in the world bullshit. Play by ur own rules.Spend time with the people u care about and care about you.
Stop torturing yourself and get through it the best you can.
One think I will suggest, is if you smoke to stop.
Ive been lifting weights on and off for years, but I definitely felt "gloomier and lazier" while smoking.Exercise really helps as well.

"There's no shame in being alone. It can be wonderfully refreshing...."
Very true, Ive been going with my g/f for about a year and 1/2 now and often think to myself "I just want to left alone" and miss not answering to anyone.

I can also relate to feeling alone, like no one understands me. I just cant relate to 90% of humanity.


This needs to be repeated...

"what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

Sorry for the long post.
 

Steven K

Supporting Actor
Joined
Jan 10, 2000
Messages
830
JonZ...

No offense, man... but get over it!

The whole "I hate everything around me" attitude is just an excuse for being lazy. I know plenty of people with this kind of attitude - it's a never ending pitty-party for themselves :frowning:
 

JonZ

Senior HTF Member
Joined
Dec 28, 1998
Messages
7,799
Ok,maybe hate is a strong word. Ill change it to dislike,wish I could change,feel strongly about,or dont want to deal with.

Notice how I said later not to deal with the others BS and problems.I choose not to.

I dont need to get over anything as I dont feel sorry for myself and Im not lazy.
And I REFUSE to drag the past around with as if it were a ball&chain.

Not sure I get that one. How does having strong opinions and disliking most of what I see about people,politics,religions,humanity, the state of the planet make me lazy? I find very little good in the world. Ok makes me a pessimist or maybe even a misanthrope,but not lazy.

(Deep down, I do wish the best for people,but I just dont think Humanity is gonna make it- and I give us less time than most)

Im not the people you know so dont judge me as if I were.
 

Ted Todorov

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Aug 17, 2000
Messages
3,706
Apologies to Bob Fosse & Elisabeth Kubler-Ross:

The five stages of heartbreak:

Anger
Denial
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

No way around them unfortunately.

Another question: does happiness come only from within? Yes and no. External events can make you very, very happy. A lifetime of happiness depends on what is inside though.

Ted
 

Chris Rosene

Second Unit
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
336
Eve

My advice is spend the day at a childrens hospital and view and talk to some kids and see what hands they were dealt in life (cancer, birth defects, retardation, etc). This will help put your problems/issues into perspective. So you broke up with a boyfriend/husband . . big deal. It's not like there are not 100's of millions of others out there for you to hook up with.
Sorry for the bluntness, but in the grand scheme of things, are your issues really that bad?
 

JonZ

Senior HTF Member
Joined
Dec 28, 1998
Messages
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Sighs

"I hope that someday, you really believe it."
-I do

"You might try to start by setting aside that enormous chip on your shoulder."
-Ok, thats some deduction considering u DONT KNOW ME.


"I don't mean that in a mean-spirited way, either. The World is the way it is. Change what you can. "The Man" that's keeping you down is ... you."
-I never said anyone was keeping me down.I just dont like what I see. I may have strong opinions but at least I dont force them on others and often keep them to myself - unlike most people

"Why can't you have financial security? Are you too stupid, lazy, unmotivated to earn any money? Of course, the answer here is certainly NO, so what is it?"

I make as much as a friend of mine with a business degree from Marist College and I dont have a college education. Does that sound stupid and lazy? It has to do with where I live(which is very expensive - I know a nurse who had to recently move back home becuase she couldnt afford to live on her own).

Alot of peopel have 2 incomes to live on. I dont.Only me and yes Im seriously looking into relocation and school(since Im so lazy and stupid) as a option. Somewhere were I can enjoy life a bit more and not have to struggle so much.
 

JonZ

Senior HTF Member
Joined
Dec 28, 1998
Messages
7,799
"No theyre not"

Id like to expand on that with a example and why I said that to Chris post.

The friend who lost his sister I meantioned earlier has another sister. Shes in a wheelchair and has been all her life. And she was always saying "Why me" (And Im not making light of her handicap as I have no idea what it must be like to live in a wheelchair)

Anyway,5 years ago my brother developed seizures. He recently underwent brain surgery to prevent from having them anymore. When sitting in his room recovering, my aunt said "Why'd this have to happen" and my brothers response was "What makes me better than anyone else?Everyone always says "why me",well why not me. You cant go through life without some pain,everyone has to go through it.Someone out there is always worse of than you"


"I often wonder for those suffering depression over life's major emotional events- were you shielded from these things as a child"
Or maybe its exactly what doctors say - a sickness, a medical condition and setbacks in life intensify the feelings more than the average person(of course anyone and everyone can be depressed at times - but Im beginning to think that maybe theyre right and that while past experiences contribute,it is a "sickness")


Back to Eve - I do wish u the best.You must do whats best for u. If you feel therapy would be best than do it. If you feel do can do it whithout help - so be it.

Take care of yourself (your first priority)and get through it any way you can.

Life can be fuckin horrendous at times, but it can also be wonderful.Never give up on yourself!!!!
 

Glenn Overholt

Senior HTF Member
Joined
Mar 24, 1999
Messages
4,201
I'm going to have to take issue with members here treating others so harshly.

Gee, give me a break. You have no idea what they have been through, or what kind of an upbringing they had. That is very cruel and uncalled for. Let's get back to helping Eve out.

Glenn
 

JonZ

Senior HTF Member
Joined
Dec 28, 1998
Messages
7,799
Yea Im from NY and have had enough.

My best friends husband has alot of baggage about his abusive father.She is constantly trying to get him to talk to a therapist about it.

My stepfather used to beat the shit ou of me until I got too big and fought back.

I dont have the issues her husband does. I realized stepdad was just a abusive,angry asshole.

So everyone handles their troubles differently and because you or I handle such and such pretty well doesnt mean someone else can.Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses.

Rereading some of the posts on Prozac.Id have to say I agree.
While it helped his mother for a short period of time,it didnt last.
When I last saw her,her depression was only worse,was getting her dosage upped,drinking, and in worse shape than ever.
So its not just a matter of taking pills,alot of work goes into therapy.
 

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