What do you do when people talk in a movie? (1 Viewer)

[Mike Veroukis]

I really hate, after staking out a good spot in a half-empty theater and for whatever reason, people come in and sit DIRECTLY behind (or in front) of you. I don't understand it! Why do people feel the need to sit as close as they can to other people, when the theater is mostly empty?

Heh, I know exactly what you mean! But it's not just theaters, this happens to me in parking lots all the time. I remember this one time I parked my Supra way at the edge of the lot where there were no other cars. As I was getting out this goof in a pickup truck parks right next to me. I just stood there and watched as he hopped out and walked to the mall. Well, I had some garbage in the back of my car I had to get rid so I thought I'd make use of the situation and dumped it in the back of his truck. Now if only I could do that in a theater! Actually, come to think of it, I can! ;-)

- Mike

 

[Paul_D]

Actually, come to think of it, I can! ;-)

Welcome to the world of full color smilies!

 

[Andrew s wells]

Well..the last time some kids in front of me wouldnt shut up i just tapped one of them on the shoulder,i didnt say a word.. just gave him a mean look. He turned white as a ghost and no more talking from that couple of teens for the rest of the show. 6'5 at 251 i guess will do that for you sometimes.

 

[Scott Leopold]

I usually don't get too irate over people talking in the movies, but I have had a couple of annoying experiences. When the most recent Star Trek movie came out, we sat behind a row of die-hard Trekkies. They were pointing out each and every part of the movie that they felt might not match up with the official Star Trek canon, why they felt the characters weren't acting the way they "really" would, and they backed up each and every thing they said with lengthy, detailed opinions referencing everything back to the original series. They weren't terribly loud, and some of it was so ridiculous it was amusing, so I didn't complain.

The only time I've done more than shush someone was back when I was in college taking a film criticism class. We had to see a film a week and write a review, so it was necessary to pay close attention and even take notes during the films. For some ungodly reason, one of the films we had to see was the Scott Bakula tour de force, Necessary Roughness. When taking the class, I made a point of only going to the movies during the week, usually around 1-2pm. Most of the time, I was the only person in the theater. For this Oscar-worthy spectacular, I was lucky enough to have a few others in there with me. The two lovliest people were a mother/son team sitting right in the sweet spot (oddly enough, this was the only film for the quarter that I saw outside the sweet spot). These two freaks were the loudest, most obnoxious people I've ever encountered at the movies. They talked non-stop, and 99% of what they said had nothing to do with the movie. After about 20 minutes, I had taken all I could stand. My shushes were having no effect, and the shushes of the other three patrons were just as inneffective. I finally started yelling "shut up!" as loud as I could. This didn't work. I then changed tactics, and started yelling "shut the fuck up!" This didn't work, either. Sensing that they thought it was someone else I was yelling at (I perceived this was so from the way they confusedly craned their necks around and said "yeah, be quiet," in support of my efforts), I then started yelling "You two fat freaks in the tenth row! You with the too small Def Leppard T-shirt, and you in the unwashed mumuu! Shut your fucking mouths!" Now, you'd think they'd get the point, but they still didn't realize I was talking to them, and their chatfest continued. I finally couldn't take it anymore, so I went to the concession stand, bought some gummi-something-or-other, and returned to the theater, now taking a seat just 4 rows behind them. I started pelting them with my gummi-candies, and saying "shut up" over and over. It only took about 5 gummis apiece to get them to shut up, but I kept going until the box was empty. Of course, by this point they had decided to leave, so I was literally throwing gummis at them as they waddled up the aisle. I was actually applauded and thanked by the others in the theater. I didn't get very good notes and would have asked for a free pass, but, come on, who really wants to sit through Necessary Roughness more than once?

 

[Scott Leopold]

I also have to admit that I've been on the other side of the noisy fence twice in my life. The first time was when I received free passes to an advanced screening of Cry Baby. As bad as Necessary Roughness was, it was so much more watchable than Cry Baby. I'd actually prefer to watch vasectomy operations on the Discovery Health channel than Cry Baby. I went with my brother & two friends, and after what seemed like hours (but was actually probably only 10 minutes), the movie got so bad we couldn't stand it. We started just making little jokes to one another, but finally got so outraged at the stupidity of the movie that we started yelling at the screen. Actually, the first time I ever saw MST3K, I was reminded of our experience watching Cry Baby. Oddly enough, nobody complained, even though we carried on for about 80% of the movie. Also odd was that the two studio folks doing interviews with everyone afterwards wouldn't talk to us. The manager didn't appreciate it, either, when I went up and demanded our money back. He finally yelled that since it was a free showing we couldn't have any money back, and threatened to call the cops.

The other time was just a few years ago. I had a remarkable string where my every movie-going wish came true thanks to a local, now-defunct second-run movie house (the Page Manor). They were showing a lot of older movies, and I mentioned to my wife that I had always regretted never seeing Die Hard on the big screen (I was too young at the time, according to my parents (even though my brother was also under 18 and allowed to go), so I was left at home when they went; however, I was allowed to watch it on tape several months later when it came out). The following week, Die Hard played. Thinking it was just a coincidence, I mentioned to her that another movie I'd love to see on the big screen was The Blues Brothers. A week later, we were watching Jake & Elwood on the big screen. Finally, I tried one last time. As we drove home that night, I told her that I'd give anything to see Blazing Saddles on the big screen. The following Friday, we were there 40 minutes early and still had to stand in line.

Now, I generally never make noise at the movies, and I don't appreciate it when others do, but something came over me while watching Blazing Saddles in its original, widescreen glory. I acted just like I do when I'm watching it at home drunk. For the entire movie, I was yelling out the lines about 10 seconds before they're said, and laughing hysterically. At several points, I had tears streaming down my face. The only person in the theater who seemed upset by this, though, was an old gradeschool buddy who happened to be sitting right in front of me. He felt that if I didn't shut up, I'd get killed. The audience was about half white, and half non-white, and except for the obvious & obnoxious exception of myself, none of the whites were laughing at the movie. In fact, none of them were reacting at all. They sat there quietly throughout the whole film. I'm assuming they were doing their best not to offend the non-white patrons by laughing at any of the "racist humor." Looking back, I feel this was rather silly since the other half of the audience was laughing and having a good time. Then there was me, yelling out "The sheriff is a n!", and rolling in my seat (keep in mind, I yelled this a full ten seconds before Gabby Johnson did). I had a blast, my wife was embarrassed, and my friend truly thought I was going to be lynched. While I feel sorry for anyone whose moviegoing experience was ruined by my obnoxious behavior that night, I truly feel sorry for the half of the audience who couldn't allow themselves to enjoy it as much as I did.

 

[Josh_Hill]

I'll tell ya about this funny little story:
A while back I went to see Proof of Life in the theater and sitting behind me were two old ladies who just would not shut up, but they werent too loud, so I didnt say anything and I was afraid to give them a heart attack, so the movie ends I dont feel like going home, so I sneek into another film, cant remember for the life of me what it was though. Anyhoo's I go in and sit down and wouldnt ya know it, the two same old ladies sneek in and sit RIGHT BEHIND ME!!! As you can guess they talked all the way through this other film. So about middle way's through the film, I tell them to keep it quiet and that theyve already talked through one movie, so shut the hell up. They did. End of story.

 

[Dick]

I am a theater manager's worst nightmare. If the focus of the image is just a tad off, I will get up from the movie and complain, even two or three times, and even at the risk of missing good moments. When people talk during a movie, I feel a psysiological sensation in my stomach quite similar to that I experience when threatened and needing to react quickly and concisely. Compensatory fantasies begin in my head, as I muse about how I am going to "take out the m.f.'s" in one horrible way or another. But I will try the "Shhh," or "Please quiet down" approach, which is followed by a trip to the manager to complain. After this, I demand a refund.

 

[Scott Leopold]

Dick, funny you mention the focus. I was at a showing of Star Wars: TPM, and the movie was started out of focus. A couple people started shouting "focus", and after a minute, almost the entire packed audience had joined in. The film suddenly stopped. A few minutes passed, then it was restarted from the very beginning, with the focus corrected.

 

[Josh_Hill]

My past 2 trips to the theater have had problems. At Beautiful Mind it was horribly out of focus and I had to go tell them. At Black Hawk down, the dumbass projectionist didnt turn off the lights and out of like 350 people, I who was trapped in between a whole row of fat guys and me being a fat guy, had to squeeze through and yell at the person. Argh! What do they hire the guy that just got fired from Burger King to be the projectionist.

 

[Gruson]

I hate theaters now. It seems like something always goes wrong.
I saw A Beautiful Life today and could not believe it was in mono when it first started. I had to go and inform the manager and finally 20 minutes later it was fixed.
Anyway, when I have that annoying talker, I just give them a "shhh." If that does not work, I will usually clear my throat and stare them down. If that still does not work, I will give them the SHUT THE FUCK UP line and make it look like I am possesed. Usually works.
Anyway, I try to avoid the theater unless it is a movie I am really excited about.
Thank God for home theaters

 

[Eric Bass]

That happened to me with SPR on one viewing. About 30 minutes into it the sound finally kicked up from mono to surround, that was dissapointing to say the least. It wasn't my first viewing, but I felt sorry for everyone who had to see the beach landing for their first time in such pathetic sound.

 

[Dean DeMass]

I am usually pretty lucky but I did have two instances this past year that pissed me off to high hell. 1st, during The Mummy Returns, we had a bunch of 17-18 year kids, who could actually pass for rectums if needed, yapping away. So I quietly told them to please be quiet. They did for awhile. Then the kid sitting in front of my wife kept rocking his chair back real hard and hitting my wife's knees. After I told him to stop he did it again. So I kicked the back of his chair so hard he almost fell out. I told him if he rocks in the chair again, my foot won't be hitting the chair but the back of his f**king head. After that, it was quite nice for the rest of the film and I even got a couple of thank you's.
During A.I., it was opening night at a late showing and a group of people had their cell phones going off non-stop. No matter what was done or said, they kept going off. I think someone got the manager becasue it stopped with about an hour left in the film. I didn't want to get the manager because I didn't want to miss single frame of that film.
Another good line is one my buddy used. We had people talking in front of us and he said out loud to me, in a real crazy voice, "Damn't, I knew I should have left the bullets outside in the car!" Immediate silence followed afterwards.
-Dean-

 

[Rick Deschaine]

Try this line,

"I'm sorry, could you please speak up, I can't hear your conversation over the movie."

and then pretend to listen intently and stare at them everytime they speak.

 

[Chuck C]

I get up and move...I guess I'm too nice

 

[ChrisMatson]

The first time, I ignore them and hope they shut up. The second time, I say, "Excuse me." That usually works.

 

[MikeAlletto]

I remember this one time I parked my Supra way at the edge of the lot where there were no other cars. As I was getting out this goof in a pickup truck parks right next to me. I just stood there and watched as he hopped out and walked to the mall.

Oh oh oh...if I see someone who thinks they are so important that they want a parking space way far away from everyone I'll purposely park right next to them. In fact I'll get as close as I can without going over the parking line. Its hilarious! Doing something just in spite to get a rise out of someone...good fun. If i had a truck and I knew someone dumped their trash in the bed I'd make sure it ended up attached to the persons wiper blades.

I understand being annoyed at someone talking during movies, but someone sitting near you? Oh come on. What if they want a good center seat also. What makes you think you are so special and only you should have the center and a 10 seat circle around you? You happened to take the dead center one so they take the next best, behind or in front or next to you. As long as they aren't sitting in your lap you have no room to complain.

 

[Garrett Lundy]

I don't know about you, But sometimes I enjoy it when people talk during a movie. It may be too PC, But I like to call it "audience participation". Good examples of AP movies to watch include The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Jaws (Oh my god! There are cello players in the water! Get out of the water! Cello players!), and the infamous Anaconda:
"Yo yo yo , don't go there man, the snake...he's gonna eat ya...no, wait...no, wait...uh huh...NOoooooooooo!!!!" or "Damn, those some fine titties!" and the ever popular "Hey! ain't that yo truck? Hey Jim's ain't that yo mother f*cking truck? God damn's boy, yo trucks in da movie!"
Tomorrow (sunday) I'm off to see Blade 2. I live next to an ARMY base. I am fully not expecting to be able to hear this movie the first time I see it. So I'll go back monday afternoon or sometime when I'm pretty much guaranteed to be alone. But it's a movie..A Wesley Snipes movie. You just gotta roll with the punches and watch a kung-fu/vampire movie with 120 talkative GI's. Thats the real fun of the movie. I can hear them now:
"Don't go in there! Theres a vampire!" "Shoot the damn gun Blade!" and "Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah kick some ass!"

 

[Ryan L B]

I have had a focus problem before, saw joe somebody and the picture at the bottem was messed up, couple next to me complained and it was not fixed, i go up to the box office and demanded a refund and i got it (the movie sucked any way.) also had the talking problem durring scary movie and a beautiful mind. during scary movie apparently the teenage girl next to me had already seen it, and was telling all of the good parts before they happened to a friend, I used the shut the f moment and not another word, also she thought it was the movie since we were at the shakespere in love part. Also, my bother yelled out the ending to episode 1 before it started, two 7 year olds alone, look at us funny and started talking during the movie. I did not say anything to them since they were too young. During a beautiful mind, i had two problems. One was a baby. it started crying during the trailers, the parents take it out 5 min in, and came back i heard a loud oh god, here we go again. The baby did not make another sound. Also, there was a couple next to me who made nee jurk reactions during every single part of the movie, when nash tried to kill himself. found out that he was schitzo, ect
and then they complained at me that I was chewing with my mouth open. (i was not) i must of made some kind of noise. after that i wanted to use the shut the f up comment but my parent were behind me, so i couldn't. so those are my bad expereinces at the movie theater.

 

[Chris_Anders]

I've always found it humorous that when attending a late night or early morning movie for that matter, you find the dude sitting all the way in the front by himself. Suddenly as the lights dim, a sweet odour arises from the general direction of the man. Low and behold, he has just lit a joint and is puffing away on it. Then throughout the movie he starts gibbering and laughing at really quite unfunny parts of the movie. Ah yes, nothing quite beats the movie going experience of Stockton California. Luckily, I no longer live there.

I've always said, smoke BEFORE you go to a show. Sheesh.

 

[Edwin-S]

I sure wonder what areas the theatres you guys go to are in. I have been going to the theatre a lot more now than I have in the recent past and I have not had anything happen to me like you guys are describing. I know when I go to a theatre that I'm going to a public venue with a lot of other people. There is no way in hell that you are going to get a roomful of people to be absolutely silent and unmoving for any length of time, if a person cannot handle that then they might as well stay home. To tell you the truth, I don't know how anyone can hear anyone else talking in one of these modern theatres because the volume is cranked up so high in most of them, that you can hardly hear yourself think....let alone hear someone talking..unless he is sitting in the seat right beside you.