I thought I'd pick the collective HTF brain about matters bouncing around inside my cranium. In different threads, the topic of men and women spending time alone (together) has come up; for example, some posters have said they have no qualms with their spouses/SO's having lunch or going to movies, etc., with members of the opposite sex. Some have said they absolutely have difficulty with it. I can see both sides. Trust is a big issue - do you trust your SO enough to know their motives are platonic, that they won't do anything that will compromise the relationship? On the other hand, I can understand having difficulty with it. Human nature is at work here - no one is perfect, and having your SO spend copious amounts of time with the opposite sex could be a source of insecurity and worry. If we can all agree that one thing that should be exclusive to a serious, committed relationship is physical intimacy, my question is, what else (if anything) should be? Where you do draw the lines, and for what reasons? If you're a man, are you OK with other guys buying your SO gifts? Spending one on one time with her? Confiding in her? Women, are you OK with your man spending solo time with another woman? Something more: at what point does the time spent or actions taken cross the line? Let's take example couple Jane and Joe. Joe has a friend - known her before he met Jane - that is interested in more than friendship, though Joe has been clear (with words) that he's not. This woman - we'll call her Lisa - knows that Joe is in a serious relationship with Jane. Lisa continues to ask Joe to lunch, compliment his looks, and confide in him. Is this OK? Doe Joe owe Jane an explanation? Should Joe make it clear to Lisa that what he knows, Jane knows (i.e., he's going to tell Jane everything about the conversation and the time together)? Besides physical affection and inner feelings, how do you show or express that your relationship with your SO is "different" from others? This may seem like a silly question, but I'm at a point where I am trying to seriously examine a lot of things I've assumed or taken for granted in romantic relationships.