What are your picks of the worst 2002 release films you saw ? (1 Viewer)

[GregGilchrist]

As an alternative to people being tired of reading all the endless best films of 2002 lists, what are your picks of the 3 worst 2002 release films you saw and your reasons why, for each one.

If you can easily make it a 10 worst 2002 film release list, no problem (but say why for each pick, if possible).

 

[MatthewA]

Super Troopers: Not funny or entertaining.

8 Crazy Nights: See above.

Return to Neverland: Weak sequel to Disney's Peter Pan.

I haven't been to that many theatrical films this year.

 

[MattThiel]

Insomnia: Loved Memento, was bored by this film.

Reign of Fire: Promising beginning, but this film feels as if it had a disastrous test screening and it was hacked down, cutting a lot of footage necessary for continuity (the ads say the film takes place in the year 2084, but the film mostly takes place in the year 2020!). I snuck in, so at least I didn't support the film.

The Scorpion King (DVD): Far, far, below the quality of the Mummy films. After watching it I asked myself, "Why did I rent this?"

I (try to) stay away from movies that get bad reviews.

 

[Brian Lawrence]

It's a short list right now, but I will update with edits through out the next few months as I actually see more of the 2002 films.


01- Rose Red
02- Austin Powers in Goldmember
03- Showtime
04- Sum of All Fears, The
05- Attack of the Clones

 

[Jim_K]

My Bottom 3
Dog Soldiers - Idiotic retread of Aliens/Howling. moronic plot, inane dialog, silly looking werewolves, jerky camera movements and speed editing that puts Michael Bay to shame. All this adds up to one big steaming pile of rancid dog feces.
Reign of Fire - This flaming turd makes Godzilla '98 look like a masterpiece by comparison.
Men In Black II - I can only blame myself for seeing this swill.
Dis-honorable mentions
8-Legged Freaks
Resident Evil
Hart's War
Murder By Numbers

 

[Lew Crippen]

I did not go to see anything I disliked.

 

[LukeB]

Chelsea Walls (I think Neal Page said it best, "When you're telling these little stories, here's an idea, have a point!")
Big Trouble (I had high hopes for this one, and I was disappointed.)
Snow Dogs / Death to Smoochy (A superficial, sentimental unfunny comedy or a mean-spirited, unfunny comedy with a few moments of humor...tough call.)

 

[Angelo.M]

The three worst...
Star Wars: Attack of the Clones. Heartless. I could care less about these characters, which is a shame because that was the original's strong suit.
Death to Smoochy. Featuring two great actors (Norton and Keener) giving two horrible performances.
The Sum of All Fears. Why does Morgan Freeman waste his time? Other than Chasing Amy, Ben Affleck has managed to sleepwalk his way through everything else he's been in. Actor? I don't think so.
And I must mention my disappointment with...
Spiderman. A fun flick, with a well-chosen Tobey Maguire. But the Green Goblin's mask mars Willem Dafoe's work; the scenes between him and Spiderman are comical, and not in a good way, because we can't see his face. Who made that costuming decision?

 

[ChuckDeLa]

Saw some real stinkers this year....

Analyze That
Collateral Damage
Ghost Ship
Goldmember
Murder By Numbers
Reign of Fire
Scooby-Doo
The Time Machine
The Tuxedo
xXx

 

[ChuckDeLa]

Oops didn't read the first post :b

The three worst:

1) The Tuxedo - Let's admit it, Jackie Chan movies are stupid. But I love watching him move. You go for the stunts, and if the plot isn't totally moronic, that's just a bonus. In this case, not only was the plot moronic, the dialogue stomach-churning, the "acting" godawful (Jennifer Love Hewitt hitting especially new lows)... but there were just about NO stunts in the movie, and the majority of those were computer-assisted. This movie was so obnoxious, it killed almost all desire for me to watch Chan again. Before I saw this movie, I owned about 25 of his movies on DVD. Afterwards, I sold them all except the Drunken Master films. A part of me died the day I saw The Tuxedo.

2) xXx - "Welcome to the Xander Zone"? Is this what passes as witty one-liners these days? Simply horrendous in every conceivable way, from the ungodly irritating soundtrack to the utterly predictable plot "twists".

3) Ghost Ship - "Hey, wouldn't it be cool to have a scene where a wire slices a whole roomful of people in half?" "Yeah! Write a movie about that!" Not scary, not creepy, not suspensful, not original, not good.

 

[Brook K]

Well Chuck, Jackie's approaching 50 if he's not there already. I wouldn't expect any more pure stunt movies like in his golden days.

Worst

1. Goldmember - I liked the first two, here Austin jumps the shark and is still airborne.

2. Frailty - A triple threat, dumb, boring and predictable. I felt like I'd seen this movie at least 50 times. Another movie which relies on the complete stupidity of the police/detective/pursuer to reach it's conclusion because the writer was too lazy or uncreative to think up a more intelligent approach. If this thing had done $200 million people would be ripping it apart.

3. Clones - What Angelo said. The 1st time I've experienced a complete lack of drama in a SW film.

The only other 2 movies I've been dissatisfied with, I didn't flat out not like, but they have enough problems for me that I can't say I particularly enjoyed them either:

Road To Perdition
The Cat's Meow

 

[Jason Seaver]

Well, you can figure it out pretty easily from my entry in the 2002 Film List thread...
(n-9) Full Frontal - Nothing. Interesting. Happens. And even if it did, you can't see it, because Soderberg chose to shoot on low-resolution digital video for no good reason (presentation counts).
(n-8) The Adventures Of Pluto Nash - Not funny. Not good action. No nifty sci-fi ideas. Just some good actors given little to work with, and only John Cleese survives. Occasionally looks nice, though.
(n-7) The Salton Sea - If you're going to do a freakshow, make the freaks (or their story) interesting.
(n-6) The Strangler's Wife - A locally produced feature by Roger Corman's company (proudly proclaimed as "the first exploitation movie shot in Boston!"), it was basically a chance for local students to do apprenticeships. But, boy, did it suck.
(n-4) Sweet Home Alabama - Not romantic. Not comedic.
(n-3) Harvard Man - When the gratuitous minor-celebrity cameo is the most real, honest part of the movie... Well, you've got trouble.
(n-2) The Tuxedo - Jackie Chan should kill with this concept, but the movie never lets him, and Jennifer Love Hewitt's character has an unacknowledged split personality (the over-her-head lab rat is fun, the complete shrew is not). Also, the age difference is creepy.
(n-1) National Lampoon's Van Wilder - Didn't laugh one, despite a likable cast.
And the worst movie of 2002.... Swept Away - I felt dirty coming out of this movie; it's a hateful, unpleasant 1.5-2 hours. I almost asked for my money back, not because I felt ripped off, but so that studios wouldn't think there was any audience for stuff like this.

 

[Rob Gardiner]

The only film I saw in theaters this year that I did not care for was MEN IN BLACK II. To me this is the perfect example of the disposable Hollywood sequel: regurgitate just enough of the first film to make a great 3-minute trailer, add 87 minutes of filler and hope for a big opening weekend. :rolleyes

 

[Aaron Cooke]

punch drunk love. thank god it was so short. even so my girlfriend had to leave halfway through. after sitting it out i think i should have left when she did. quite possibly the worst movie i have ever seen in the theater.

 

[Bill J]

1. Reign of Fire - Too many things to list, but one MAJOR plot point makes no sense at all.
2. John Q - I felt as if the "message" was being shoved down my throat.
3. Bad Company - Drawn out, predictable, not entertaining.

 

[Patrick McCart]

I can't pick just one.

The only films I enjoyed this year were Spider-Man, Kung Pow, and Ice Age. I'm probably going to like The Two Towers as well.

 

[Vickie_M]

punch drunk love. thank god it was so short. even so my girlfriend had to leave halfway through. after sitting it out i think i should have left when she did. quite possibly the worst movie i have ever seen in the theater.

Thank goodness you two have each other. Thank goodness I have a husband who loved this sweet, funny, thoughtful, romantic, wonderful movie as much as I did.
I don't go to movies I think I'll hate, but one I didn't enjoy very much was
Die Another Day - Stuff blows up. More stuff blows up. A rich villan can't afford a doctor to take some diamonds out of his face, lodged there when something blew up. That's all I remember. That's all I care to remember.

 

[JohnRice]

Worst: Clockstoppers - The only movie I gave up on. Couldn't decide what it was and ended up just being a two bit Twilight Zone rip-off.
I'll second Brook on The Cat's Meow. It should have been interesting, but it just sat there.
Minority Report - Spielberg needs to face the fact that he doesn't have the stones to do "Dark." Toss Cruise into that as well.

 

[SteveGon]

I'll second Brook on The Cat's Meow. It should have been interesting, but it just sat there.

And I'll third that.
Make all the excuses you want for the ending to Minority Report, but I'll still think it's shit. What a way to ruin an otherwise interesting movie.

 

[Derek Miner]

I get to be an original voice in this one, I guess...

I stayed away from most movies with dreadful reviews (though I feel like I saw many of them after reading said reviews for my Critical Mess column at Movie Poop Shoot). However, I did see at least three movies that were almost painful to watch.

In no particular order:

EQUILIBRIUM - A promising cast in an over-stylized mess that kills all credibility with over the top theatrics and brutally distracting kung-phooey fight scenes. I witnessed two professional critics rendered hysterical with laughter over the film's finale.

FRIDAY AFTER NEXT - Hostile, crude, aimless and (worst of all) NOT FUNNY. Well, okay, I laughed at one joke, and I'll save you all the agony of the entire mess by revealing it here: A guy peruses a haul of stolen goods to discover a sports jersey marked size "extra medium".
CROCODILE HUNTER: COLLISION COURSE - I was having fits of laughter over the woefully misconceived spy "story" that frames the interludes of Steve Irwin giving lessons on various creatures of the outback. If you love Irwin's interactions with such beasties, fine, check it out on TV. But for cryin' out loud, you shouldn't have to sit through a stinkin' slice of movie cheese and a dance remake of "Crocodile Rock" to see that!