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The Osbournes
The First Season: UNCENSORED
Studio: Miramax
Year: 2002
Rated: UNCENSORED/CENSORED
Film Length: 230 minutes
Aspect Ratio: Full Frame (1.33:1)
Subtitles: English and French
Ozzy's fatherly advice: "Please don't
get drunk or stoned tonight cause I'm f*cking
pissed I can't"
Ozzy on cleaning up after the dog: "I'm
not picking up another turd -- I'm a rockstar!"
Ozzy on body cleanliness: "I love the
smell of armpits in the morning - it's like victory"
You know, I never liked Ozzy Osbourne's music with
or without Black Sabbath. Though I agree that Black
Sabbath is one of the most influential hard rock bands
of all time, those of us that never embraced their
music sort of pawned Ozzy Osbourne off as being one
of Rock and Roll's biggest freaks.
I'll admit that when I heard last year that MTV was
doing a reality show on the Osbourne family, I sort
of rolled my eyes and cursed the downfall of American
television. Even when the show became a national
phenomenon (MTV's highest rated show ever), I just
couldn't lower myself to watching a single episode.
It became a very difficult task to completely ignore
The Osbournes over the past year. They were
showing up everywhere -- from entertainment news shows
to magazine covers to the latest Austin Powers
movie. The more I saw their faces plastered across
the media, the more curious I became about the show
I was refusing to watch.
When Miramax offered to send me a screener copy of
The Osbournes: Season One on DVD, I had to
actually sit and ponder my choice for a few minutes.
Just for the heck of it, I decided to have the studio
send me a copy. It couldn't have arrived at a better
time as I found myself holed up in my home thanks to
the worst snowstorm this decade. With hesitation, I
put the DVD in my player and began to view the one
program I swore I'd never watch.
What happened next is nothing unlike finding some
sort of treasure you never knew existed. I can't
believe I am about to say this, but The Osbournes
are the best thing that has happened to television
since The Sopranos. From the very first
episode I found myself strangely addicted to this
living situation comedy -- so much so that by the
time I went to bed last night, I had watched nearly
every episode of this set.
So what is it about The Osbournes that is
so damn appealing? You need to watch this crazed
dysfunctional family in action in order to answer
that question for yourself. It's basically MTV's
Real World where the Osbourne family has
allowed TV cameras to capture their every move in
and outside their stunningly beautiful mansion
in Beverly Hills. Ozzy is the king of the Osbourne
castle that is adorned with crucifixes. Shirtless
and tattoo-strewn, he lurks around his home
muttering all sorts of unintelligible comments
filled with every expletive known to man. Regarded
as one of the earliest and most notorious managers
of the rock & roll eras, his wife Sharon is
obviously the master of this household as her
fierce maternal instincts keep Ozzy in line. Then
there's their two teenage kids -- Kelly, a teen
punk princess who has a pouty, anti-everything
demeanor and Jack, a mouthy brat who walks around
the house in full combat uniform. The house is
overrun with a total of 9 cats and dogs who seem
to uncontrollably urinate and crap all over the
furniture from one episode to another.
Despite this cast of zanies, the appeal of this
series lies in how much it exaggerates the normal
conflicts of everyday families. Take away the fame
and money and you have a family that is somewhat very
much like our own. Sharon is trying to manage the
household, constantly breaking up the sibling rivalry
while Dad finds himself at odds with the TV's remote
control. Every episode introduces a new family
dilemma -- from their need to bring in an animal
therapist to help housebreak the pets to dealing
with noisy neighbors by throwing food in their
backyard -- you can't help but be instantly hooked
on this keyhole view of a family who is very
unordinary but love each other very much. As their
father puts it, ""I love you all more than life
itself, but you're all (bleep) mad!"
How is the transfer?
The entire show is shot on video and presented in
4:3 full-frame. The result is a picture that looks
rather raw, but still displays an abundant amount
of detail and color. I expect that the show looks
as good here as it did on cable TV.
The 2.0 surround mix can best be described as
adequate for the material. Audio comes across very
clear with dialogue that is well detailed. We are
only occasionally treated to music that fills the
rear channels. Other than that, this is mostly a
front-heavy audio presentation.
Special Features
The Osbournes: The First Season arrives in
a dual version 2-disc set. Be aware that there
are separate censored and uncensored
versions. Most of you will want to purchase the
uncensored version which allows the option
of having the "bleeps" put back into the show if
you wish. Frankly, I found it much funnier to
watch the show in its censored version. It's just
not as funny hearing curse words thrown at you
every second.
Let's talk about the packaging for a moment. The
season set arrives in sturdy cardboard slipcover
packaging. The innards slide out and open up to
a 3-pane gatefold that house two purple-swirled
DVDs in plastic hub housing.
In the far left pane pocket sits an 8-page Family
Album that contains a few random photos of the
family and their various dogs, as well as review by
Entertainment Weekly's Ken Tucker and of
course, chapter stops.
Pop the DVD in and you are greeted with a really
cool menu sequence featuring the Osbourne clan in
front of the television as menu choices appear in
a transparent bar below. Every menu selection you
make from hereon in brings you to another live
action sequence in another part of the house.
Episodes 1-9 are laid across Disc One, while
oddly, Episode 10 is located on Disc Two. You
have several options in front of you when playing
each episode. An Ozzy Translator helps you
sort out some of Ozzy's mumblings via fancy
captions. Language Censoring enables you to
watch the episodes with or without the covered
"bleeps." There is commentary available
on all the episodes which I just listened to briefly
for the fact that it contains the family sitting
around laughing and gawking at themselves (as if
we don't see that enough in each episode). I do
credit this disc for breaking down individual
episodes into chapters. Very nice!
Let's go on to Disc Two where you'll find
a rather abundant amount of extras. I'll give you
very brief descriptions as to what is here as there
is about 5 hours of material I cannot possibly
view in this review sitting...
There is a vast amount of unaired footage
that is broken down by episode. There's some
really funny stuff amongst this footage that
includes Sharon rescuing her cat from a balcony
ledge; Ozzie making comments about his oriental
light fixture; Sharon contemplating going after
the neighbors and referring to singer Celine Dione
as "that piece of sh*t;" and extended radio station
footage that is just incredible to watch.
Conversations with the Osbournes is a
collection of interviews with family members,
security guard and "newborn" Robert. Topics
range from life on the road to family values to
various stories about the first season of the show.
There's almost 6 minutes worth of bloopers
that range from various falls to food and pillow
fights. Perhaps the most disturbing of all is
Sharon telling her kids about a particular time
she gave their daddy a blow job. Suffice to say
this is a pretty wild collection of stuff that
will put a smile on your face.
If you really want to see the moments that defined
this entire first season, you need only to watch
Season Highlights. These quick cuts are
broken down into specific categories such as
Ozzy's fatherly advice and Sharon's
motherly advice as well as top moments with
Jack, Kelly and Lola.
Want a really good laugh? Try watching the Rock
superstar come up with Ozzy's Ten Commandments,
which may or may not change your view of good
family values.
A Photo Gallery contains dozens of photos
of the Osbournes. While I stopped counting after
picture #150, I found this gallery to be a bit of
a letdown as it features the family mostly posing
with their middle fingers held high, all wearing
the same wardrobe throughout. It would have been
better to include candid moments from the series,
but at least we get to see the family pets hamming
it up as much as the family is.
If you want to see how low DVD desktop games
have gone, one needs to look no further than
Name that Dookie!, a game that asks you
to match the pet dookie to the pet that made it.
Edit a Scene allows you to pick from a
choice of segments and put together your own
Osbourne's episode. One thing the makers of this
game forgot to do -- making it fun!
DVD-ROM content includes a guide to the
Osbourne family, an arcade game and some weblinks
that you can visit. Maybe I shouldn't be too
surprised that my web visit included a pop-up ad
for Trojan condoms.
Final Thoughts
Is there something really wrong with me for
placing The Osbournes Season One on my
coveted HIGHLY RECOMMENDED list of DVD titles?
Not really, when you consider the fact that I went
into this review expecting to hate the show but
came out raving about it. I also can't help but
admire the fact that as screwed up a family this
is, there seems to be more love in it than most
normal families I know. It's almost as if the
show has a hidden message about family values for
amongst all of the infighting and cursing, the
Osbournes truly do love each other.
For a price of under $21 from on-line retailers,
perhaps this set may prove to be a worthwhile gamble
for those that have not yet met America's most
lovable family.
Release Date: March 4, 2003
All screen captures have been further compressed.
They are for illustrative purposes only and do not
represent actual picture quality
