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Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Anders Englund, Mar 9, 2003.
How many of you actually keep gloves in the glove compartment?
How many of you European type folks keep boots in your boot?
I've got a trunk in my trunk.
I hope this helps.
Ok. How many of you actually keep whiskey in the whiskey-chute?
What's a glove?
I have whiskey in my liqour cabinet in my dorm room. Its nice they give us so many places to hide alcohol
I drive on parkways and park on driveways.
Don't be bitter.
welp, why do they call it an emergency brake when it's NOT for emergencies?
Does it count if the hand is still in it?
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window!
If FEDEX and UPS were to merge, would they call it FED UP?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
If they arrest the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with battery?
I think everyone has a photographic memory; it's just that some of us don't have film.
I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
I don't have a solution, but I admire your problem.
If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what exactly is a fog horn made out of?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?!
If vegetable oil comes from vegetables, where does baby oil come from?
Is the hardness of the butter proportional to the softness of the bread?
I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in The bathroom.
What do they call a coffee break at the Lipton Tea Company?
What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
If you throw a cat out the car window, does it become kitty litter?
When a cow laughs, does milk come up it's nose?
Why do they put Braille on the number pads of drive -
through bank machines?
How did a fool and his money GET together?
If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon on the pan?
How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
What's another word for thesaurus?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injection?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the special Olympics?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with the lights off?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do asians throw hamburgers?
Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?
Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is?
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
Who is general failure and why is he reading my disk?
The light went out, but where to?
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?
Why is the alphabet in that order?
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!!
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not adoor?
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer?
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
Do you keep a moon in your moon roof?
Evelio, take a breath.
How come no one ever says they're "whelmed?"
If tomato sauce is made from tomatoes, what is duck sauce made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Has anyone ever tasted an "end"? Are they really bitter?
Does a one-legged duck swim in a circle?