Not lying to my kids about Santa Claus.... (1 Viewer)

[Holadem]

Plus, you're going to have to tell them at some point, and you're going to really hurt them, and probably knock their trust in you.

Not true. It seems the running assumption is that they won't know unless you tell them, which is flat wrong. Do they need anyones help to dispell the myth of the tooth fairy, or whatever the heck else they believe in? Why should Santa be any different?

Back home we have this creature that is supposed to come for bad kids at night, that goes by the name of Belingoodoo. The picture in my mind is that of a shapeless thing lurking in the dark. I don't remember exactly when I stopped believing in it, same, with mist other childhood myths. All I know is that I did, on my own - simply because I was old enough.

As an aside, I don't expect much in the way of thanks from my kid(s), and certainly not a Xmas. Only now that I am old enough do I realise what my parents have done for me. I would never expect my daughter to realise it until she gets responsibilities of her own some day. So it goes from generation to generation.

--
Holadem

 

[MikeAlletto]

I remember when my cousins were much younger we went to their house for christmas. My mom was insistant on getting a group picture with Santa at the mall with all the kids. My brother, sister and I were already way older and just played along, but Santa scared the crap out of my cousins. It was actually hilarious. I remember hearing one of the elves telling my Aunt that my cousin was pulling Santa's beard off. They were screaming and crying. Too funny.

 

[Ted Lee]

...I wish every so often that I could go back to that time of enchantment and innocence for a few hours...

i agree 100%.
one of my absolute fondest memories of my dad is when i was little. he stayed up all night with me while i looked out the window...waiting for santa.
i think about that every christmas.

 

[Alex Spindler]

My family (not especially large, about 12 people extended) would meet every Christmas. Because there were so many "camps" that would have a story attached to what was given ("I found this at...", "I thought you might like...") that we always put an accurate From on the gift cards. There were always a few from Santa that automatically meant Grandparents, but we really didn't have much effort put into the Santa Claus myth.

I can't say I missed it myself, and have been told I was an imaginative child.

I would say that you're fine either way, although I would likely emphasize giving to others than a mythical figure when I have children.

 

[Jay Taylor]

I believe that letting kids believe in Santa helps them to be better adults when they grow up. Kids that are deprived of such magical things in their childhood may be stuck in the "I wanna be a kid" mode in their adult years.
Hey wait a minute! That's me!
(Kind of like if you want your kid to become a tennis pro then lock the tennis racket in the closet & tell him never to play tennis.)
Jay Taylor

 

[Aaron Whitaker]

Next thing you're going to be saying is that there is no boogy man.
My sisters and I always snooped around the house looking for presents and to debunk the myth. We found Santa's presents one time but we held on to the belief so we could get double the presents every year.
I just hated Santa when he would get me underwear and socks. I mean...Come on Santa, underwear and socks, isn't that something my parents should provide without being a gift.

 

[Jonathan Burk]

they have plenty of time to develop reasoning skills

I think the lack of reasoning skills is a huge problem in society, with many, many people believing really dumb things. These people waste countless hours and dollars chasing a fantasy that they believe is real. There are a few members of my own extended family that have spent hundreds of dollars on devices to help them lose weight by manipulating their "chi". Obviously this is a huge source of frustration for me.
I don't think being "skeptical" negates a healthy fantasy life, nor does it diminish the awe and wonder of things that are truly awesome and wonderful. Just last night, I finished reading "Ozma of Oz" (the third Oz book) with my son, and had a great conversation about what he would do if he had a "magic belt" like the one in the book. We were able to really enjoy the book without me trying to convince him there really are places called "Oz" or "Ev".

 

[Scott Bourden]

I'm 20 years old, and when I receive my gifts there is always one "from Santa" with them... Not sure if it's for my sake, or my mothers :b

 

[Ted Lee]

there needs to be a distinction made.
teaching your kids to grow up and become critical, logical and analytical thinkers is not the same as letting them believe (as very young children) about someone named santa.
if your kids grow up and cannot grasp that santa was just "for fun" then something else is definitely wrong.

 

[Ricky Hustle]

This is taking it a bit too far. What is this, a science class? These are young children we are talking about. I don't know what the average Santa weening age is, but of the gazilion of things a parent has to teach his/her children at that age, "distinguising fact from fiction" is pretty low on the priority list - and rightfully so.

Coming from the self-annointed anti-child, this opinion should not be taken seriously.
Kids are weened from Santa usually by age 5 or 6. At this point in their life, learning how to become an adult isn't what matters most. Let them enjoy life before having to take on the burdens of adulthood. My little boy will enjoy the magic, and I along with him.

 

[Julie K]

eaching your kids to grow up and become critical, logical and analytical thinkers is not the same as letting them believe (as very young children) about someone named santa.

I agree that the Santa thing is small potatoes, but there appears to be sentiment that it is not a good thing to teach kids to be critical, logical, and analytical thinkers in order to retain some sort of 'magic' during childhood.
I have many problems with that sentiment.
Very few would argue that the 'magic' of childhood is ruined by the teaching of arithmetic or spelling. Childhood is a time of learning - there is no other time in a person's life when they can so easily and quickly learn new material. I think it's a terrible waste, and ultimately a disservice to the person the child will become, not to teach critical thinking skills when a person is so ready and able to learn these new skills.
Critical thinking skills do not interfere with imagination or enjoyment of fiction. Nor do they interfere with the 'magic' of childhood. I found many fantastic and wonderful things as a child, none of which were based on Santa, the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc that many adults seem to think children need in order to be happy.

 

[Ted Lee]

julie -
iirc, you are not a huge (how can i put this nicely)....ummm....."advocate" of children. definitely correct me if i'm wrong!
btw - i completely agree with your post.
but...
when you have kids around, something funny happens to you. you get this great feeling when you watch them enjoying something new or wonderous. buzz mentioned one of his favorite memories is watching his boy "closely examine" those footprints he faked. that is not something you can analyze ... it just "is". other parents i'm sure can echo many many memories or sentiments.
believe me...i never thought i would be an advocate of children either. but between my girlfriend's kids and my sis's kids...i can't get away from the buggers!
also, if you teach your kids to be critical thinkers, then when you tell them santa isn't real they'll be able to handle it.
so...a balance needs to be struck.
but, in the meantime, while they're young...let them enjoy the magic and mystery.

 

[Jay Taylor]

But do these things have the overwhelming presence of the Santa Claus myth? At Christmas time kids are surrounded by movies, books, & music involving Santa. There are Mall Santas, Christmas yard decorations of Santa, TV shows of Santa and presents under the tree from Santa. His presence in the lives of children is unavoidable.

Telling children there is no Santa & having them get their fantasy elsewhere is like taking the Super Bowl away from adults so they can enjoy the thrill of playing marbles!

Jay Taylor

 

[Julie K]

Telling children there is no Santa & having them get their fantasy elsewhere

Hey, Santa had nothing on the wonderful flights of imagination I got from the very real space program.

 

[Ted Lee]

julie - you certainly are a strange one. btw - no offense meant. it sounds like you had a heck of a child-hood yourself!

 

[MickeS]

What better way to teach them critical thinking skills than handing them a lie and letting them find out the truth?

The discovery that there probably is no Santa Clause, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and so on is a big thing to many children. They figure it out by themselves, just like there have been examples of earlier in the thread. If they were to just be told "no, there is no Santa Clause", that's not teaching them critical thinking skills, that's just telling them another "fact" that could be right or wrong. It's up to them to disprove it.

IMO, of course.

By the way, I think it's funny that we as adults have this discussion, when there's this one three-letter being that many people believe exists, even though there's nothing but circumstantial evidence to prove it, and not even a NEED to prove it, since what's important is belief itself, not whether the existence of said being is confirmed or not.

Why should children not be allowed to believe in Santa Clause if it makes them happy? Like I said, I bet it's more exciting for them to write a letter to Santa than writing one to their parents.

/Mike

 

[Ricky Hustle]

By the way, I think it's funny that we as adults have this discussion, when there's this one three-letter being that many people believe exists, even though there's nothing but circumstantial evidence to prove it, and not even a NEED to prove it, since what's important is belief itself, not whether the existence of said being is confirmed or not.

Woah! Great point made there. Interesting to me is the fact that I don't believe in the 'three letter word' in the least bit, yet won't mind my child at all partaking in the fantasy/myth of Santa. Faith I do not have, yet want my kid to, for at least a little while.

 

[Bill Catherall]

You want critical thinking? Here you go.
My son came up with his own critical thinking..."Santa has to be real or where would all the elves work?"

 

[MickeS]

, that's cute

 

[D. Scott MacDonald]

What better way to teach them critical thinking skills than handing them a lie and letting them find out the truth?

That is basically how it worked for us. When my daughter's critical thinking skills improved (around age 4) she started thinking long and hard about this. Her first clue was that none of the gifts appeared to have been made by elves at the North Pole, and in fact look exactly like somebody bought them at Toys R Us. She came to us and asked if we were in fact Santa, and we immediately told her yes. She was very proud of herself and we were also. Later that night we discussed all of the flaws in the story (such as there is no land mass at the North Pole, etc.), and then moved onto other myths such as the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy. Overall, it was a real cool experience.