Need help! (Girl problem!?!) (1 Viewer)

[JamesKan]

Last Thursday I finally worked up the courage to ask out a girl I've had a crush on for quite a while now, but now I'm not sure what to do next. Here is the background for all of you!

She works as a bank teller here in town, so I had to ask her out while she was at work. I have never seen her outside of the bank, so it had to be done there. Anyway, when I asked her if she would like to go out with me sometime, her answer was "OK, yeah, sure" She was a caught a little off guard, and seemed a little embarrassed, but I suppose that is to be expected, but also seemed sincere like she really wanted to go out. She then asked for my phone number, which I gave her. Then I let her get back to work.

Sounds great so far, huh? Well, here is the problem. I MAY have given her the wrong phone number! DOH! I recently aquired a cell phone, and might have jumbled the first 3 numbers (977 instead of 997). I honestly don't know. Never having to dial my own number, I'm not sure what I gave her! I'm about 90% sure I gave her the correct number, but that nagging 10% is bothering me.

She has yet to call, so I'm not sure if she is not interested or she has the wrong number. What do I do now? I have to go back in the bank soon, and I don't know how to how to handle this. If she isn't interested, I don't want to make her feel strange, but on the other hand, if I was wrong, I want to give her the real number. Any suggestions? Should I

1. Act like nothing happens and see what her reaction is?

2. Ask her if she tried to call?

3. Use another bank? -LOL

4. ???

Please help!

 

[JoelH]

James,

First, I suggest you tatoo your phone number on a visible portion of your body so that never happens again!

Actually, I would suggest going back to the bank, not saying anything about it, and see what her reaction is. If she says nothing to you, you can assume that she didn't really want to go out. If she tried to call and got the wrong number, she will probably ask you about it when you come in. If you ask her a question, it will make her uncomfortable, and that is not appropriate to do while she is at work.

Good luck! Hopefully she responds well to seeing you in the bank!

----

Joel

 

[cafink]

Just ask her if she tried to call. Tell her that you may have made a mistake and you'd like to make sure that you gave her the right number. Don't make the mistake of out-thinking yourself.

 

[Scott L]

heheh. Sounds like something that would happen to George Castanza. I'd take choice #1, but if she doesn't call you in about 3-4 days, see her again. If she comes to you and tells you that you gave her the wrong number then good for you! If she acts like nothing happened, hopefully it won't turn into Seinfeld and everyone gets confused.

Good luck man!

 

[Brad_W]

I personally think that asking her about the phone number would put you in the appearance that you are "desperate."

I would have to agree with Joel on this one. Tattooing your phone number on say your head would be great because that way you'll always remember it (although backwards, kinda like getting hit by a MACK truck and seeing the word KCAM embedded on your forehead every time you look in the mirror) and she'll see it and make a mental note. That way she doesn't have to ask about the phone number and will just call you. Later when you two are married you'll have this great story about how you gave her the wrong number, but later came into the bank with your number tattooed on your forehead and she finally was able to call you. That whole time you thought that she didn't like you, but really she was just too shy to ask you and you didn't want to appear to be desperate. What a story that would be!! Of course, you'll still have that tattoo, but hey, at least it'll be an excuse as to why you can't get a job and have to rely on her for a source of income and she'll except it because it was a "cute way to get together."

-Brad "what the F?" W.

 

[DennisHP]

I'd go to the bank as usual but pay particular attention to how she receives you. I know for a fact that if bank tellers know one of their co-workers are attracted to a customer, they will stall or speed things up with their own customers so you will end up with the gal you're attracted to as your teller. On the other hand, if she is not or never was attracted to you, she will be perpetually busy; at least until you end up with a different teller.

 

[MikeH1]

Deposit a shitload of money in your account with another teller. Repeat 3 times. Then go see the one you like and at some point ask for an account balance. Phone number problem solved.

 

[JamesKan]

WOW-Thanks for all the quick replies! Keep 'em coming!
Michael-I really like your idea! Do you have a "shitload" of money I can borrow?
I'll be sure to keep everyone informed as to how this works out. I was thinking this sounded like a Seinfield episode myself. It would be even funnier if it happened to someone else. Rest assured, I will NEVER forget the phone number again. I think I could repeat it backwards in my sleep! It is still going to be a little akward going into the bank, though.

 

[cafink]

I personally think that asking her about the phone number would put you in the appearance that you are "desperate."

I don't think it would indicate anything more than his interest in going out with her, which is appropriate since he IS interested in going out with her. Why hide it? These little "games" than men and women like to play have always puzzled me. What is wrong with just being straightforward and honest?

 

[Ryan Wright]

Be straightforward. I'll tell you exactly how I would handle it.

I'd write my CORRECT phone number on my business card (or circle it if it were already there). If I didn't have a business card, I'd write it on a piece of paper. I would then go in and say the following:

"Uh, I'm an idiot. I may have given you the wrong number. Here's my real number. I'd still love to take you out sometime; if you're interested, just let me know, OK?"

#1: By not asking "Did you try to call me?", you're not putting her on the spot.

#2: You're leaving things open. If you phrase the last part as a question ("let me know, ok?"), she can simply respond "OK" regardless. If she's not interested, she won't call, in which case never bring it up again. Again, you're not putting her on the spot and she should not feel too uncomfortable.

My $2 worth...

 

[Steve Hill]

i have found that when you would like to ask someone out, ask them out! don't ask if you can call them sometime. don't ask about a specific time, place or activity. very politely and as charmingly as possible ask them if they want to go out with you. if a girl likes you she'll say yes. if she digs you then everything else doesn't matter, you'll work that stuff out. if she doesn't, then the excuses start(too busy,boyfriend,school, whatever). if you give girls your # and wait around stressing, all you are gonna do is make yourself a wreck. just ask her out. if she doesn't seem interested, there are so many women out there. when i was single i flirted with every single girl i was attracted to and just sat back to see which ones responded. then half the work is done.

 

[Elizabeth S]

I agree with Ryan Wright, except you don't have to go so far as to call yourself an idiot. If I were the girl, I would HATE to be put in the spot of being asked if I tried to call.

 

[Seth Paxton]

I would go even farther than Ryan and say that you are 100% sure that you gave her your OLD number or the wrong number. I mean, let's be honest, if you gave her the right number and it's been a week, she probably isn't interested and didn't keep the number, so she won't know if you are wrong anyway.

And if she did try and the number was wrong then you are correct in saying so.

See, by assuming it was 100% wrong you do not look "goofy" or awkward (which DOES look desperate - see Swingers for an example) AND she can't prove that the number was originally correct if it was (and probably won't care anyway).

So I'd stick with the WRONG number story, especially if you can put the correct one on the back of a business card or something (but not necessary). "I just changed numbers and was giving out the old one out of habit. Sorry. Here's the new cell phone number."

If she hasn't called then this will actually give her momentary relief because she will think you don't know that you've been dissed yet (and really you don't). If she has called then you don't have a problem anyway.

 

[John Besse]

Damn, what a terrible situation. First, I would rather a girl give me her number than to ask for mine. It just makes it sound like she's more interested. In most cases, every girl that has asked for my phone number usually never calls.

Under the situation... It just might be possible that she tried to call. Who knows, if you gave her the wrong phone number you'll have to find out sooner or later.

My suggestion. Walk into the bank, and walk up to her. Tell he that you are taking her out Friday night and ask for her phone number. I like using the whole straight-forward method as you have a better idea if she is really interested or not. If she agrees, double check to make sure she got the right phone number. If she disagrees... Well, you might have just been blown off.

 

[Joe_C]

I agree with Seth (what a surprise). His logic is pretty fucking sound. Say you're 100% sure you gave her the wrong number, and either she'll be happy that you came back to give her the right number, or she was never interested and already lost your number and, thus, wouldn't know the difference anyways.
Either way, you come off pretty slick - so long as you play it cool Excessive sweating and/or stuttering followed by nervous laughter is usually not the way to go about it.

 

[Tommy G]

James, my advice would be to always take the advice of the women who respond. So go with Elizabeth S on this one who essentially agrees with Ryan.

 

[Dennis Reno]

Count me in as another supporter of Ryan, Elizabeth, et all...

BTW, quick question. Considering I haven't been in the "dating pool" for nearly 10 years, I've noticed a new trend. When friends of mine discuss the "asking her out" routine, it seems like the woman asks for the guys number more often than not, even though HE asked her out. Is this a oh-so subtle way for the woman to simply blow the guy off without hurting his feelings on the spot??? Seems that more often than not, the woman never calls.

 

[Brad_W]

woman to simply blow the guy off

My mind is always in the gutter; permanant resident.

 

[Samuel Des]

Be straightforward. Why not simply ask? Or take command of the situation by getting her number? The last is probably the best. Be clear and assertive. This is hard to do when you have a crush, I know, but make your best effort.

 

[Tom Meyer]

I agree, tho you kinda backed yourself into a corner by not just asking her out in the first place or getting HER number. Just suck it up, go back to the bank and ask her out. And remeber, NEVER give your number to a girl unless you get HERS first.