I'm Having A Drink For The First Time Ever Tonight!! (1 Viewer)

[Angelo.M]

If the monkey plays the piano, even better.

 

[brentl]

"Will girls look prettier?"

I don't want to tell the girls I've tried to pick up because of alcohol....EEWWWWW!

 

[Francois Caron]

I don't want to tell the girls I've tried to pick up because of alcohol....EEWWWWW!

Reminds me of a joke.

A man has been drinking at a bar for a good part of the night and is now becoming ever increasingly drunk. But now, whenever the bartender serves him a drink, the man would look inside his shirt pocket for just a moment.

Intrigued by this, the bartender asked the man "Sir, why do you always look inside your shirt pocket whenever you have a drink?"

"That's..." said the man with great difficulty, "that's 'cause I have a picture of my wife in my pocket. When she starts to look beautiful, that's when I go home."

 

[Chuck C]

Well I just drank for the third time ever tonight and boy did I feel it!! Let's start with last night (second drink ever). I had a double shirley temple with vodka at a bar last night and I felt real tipsy! Tonight, I had two powerful rum and cokes. Talk about touchy-feely, I was hugging everyone! We were at a party with lotsa pretty Miami U. girls. I called my parents to announce my drunkness, and I even talked to my little brother! Then my head started to spin, so I laid down and sobered up. I felt a full range of emotions tonight man... I think I even cried at one point!

 

[Cees Alons]

Liquor before beer, you're in the clear
Beer before liquor, never sicker

That's absolutely wrong. At least: the version in my language (rhyming too) uses "after" where it says "before" in your rhyme.
(Wijn na bier geeft plezier,
Bier na wijn geeft venijn.)

And I think the "after" version is true: you could increase the alcohol concentration, but diminish it leads to headache.

That said, be careful at all. Burke's advice is gold, Alex's advice to drink much water if you get home after drinking alcohol is silver.

Cees

 

[Eric_L]

My friend, be careful on the alcohol front.

Everyone has a different tolerance. Learn where yours is and how to keep from crossing it. Sometimes one drink is alot stronger than two, depending on how heavy handed the bartender is. Counting drinks is useless. Learn your symptoms.

Mine is when my nose gets numb, that is time to switch to H2O or soda. If I have any more I turn into a rambleing moron who only THINKS hes clever. I learned this trick after waking up embarrased too many times.

I'm glad to see you have a dd. Keep it up. Alcohol increases your confidence and decereases your competence in EVERYTHING. Remember that.

Heres some tips to make sure you have a good evening:

1) Treat your bartender very well. Learn their name. Tip generously (First drink give him a $5. Then $1 for each after. Whenever you go to that bar the bartender will treat you like royalty.

2) It is better to order and sit with the bartender, they will comp you drinks, a waitress will not. Usually a waitress is more fun to flirt with though...

3) Treat your waitress well. Tip just as with the bartender. Learn her name. Never call her 'babe', 'honey' or anything other than her name.

4) A cocktail waitress deserves respect, always. However, she can be fun to flirt with and a safe place to practice your technique. She has much experience turning down the best (me - haha) and will do it kindly. When you are the master of flirtation cocktail waitresses will be like the 'Mount Everest' of flirting. Challenging and exhilerating when you get one!

5) Don't be afraid to buy the ladies a drink and introduce yourself. If you have fear, practice on the waitress for a few weeks. Remember, they are just as pleased as you would be to receive a drink. Just ask the server what they are drinking and order a second. Ask permission to join them after it is delivered.

6) Excessively drunk female companions are more fun than being excessively drunk yourself.

7) If you must dance, make sure you do it without looking like a dork. Just remember; less is more. Practice in front of a mirror once for a shocking revelation.

8) If someone tries to pick a fight with you, laugh and buy them a drink. If that does not work, then just one good shot to the adams apple will bring it to a quick close. Leave the bar right after, it will no longer be fun and you are going to be ejected anyway.

9) Don't pick a fight with anyone. If you think that is fun, see a therapist.

10) If you see me, buy me a drink!

 

[Shayne Lebrun]

Now, bearing in mind that I don't drink (any more; haven't touched booze since, oh, a sip of champagne at my buddy's wedding several years ago) here are, never the less, some very important tips for when you get smashed.

This is going to sound preachy, but if this is your first time drinking, and it's at a party, you'd be surprised how easy it is to get carried away. Here's a few hard-won nuggets of wisdom from my experiences and my observations.

1: Before bedding down for the "night", drink water. LOTS of water. And a good multi-vitamin. When you get up to piss, drink more water.

Why? Because a hangover is basically the result of you being dehydrated and having important minerals and what not flushed out of your body.

2: When drinking, remember what being drunk really is; oxygen deprivation to your brain because blood thinned with alcohol can't transport the good old O2 as efficiently as normal. Might dissuade you.

3: Always ALWAYS watch your drinks being mixed. Somebody, at some point, is going to think it's fucking hilarious to overmix a drink. I remember one party, we had this little guy (you know, 80 pounds heavy whilst soaking wet and holding a brick) and somebody made him a rum and coke. Only by the time it got to him, SEVEN SEPARATE PEOPLE including myself (one of the reasons I stopped drinking) had decided to help the poor guy out by adding more rum.

4: If you see anybody passed out, roll them onto their stomachs. If you're feeling charitable, keep them from getting shaved.

5: If anybody vomits green, call 911 immediately; they're probably alcohol poisoned.

6: Keep a supply of scrunchies in your pocket for being valient and chivalrous; tye back that cute lady's hair when she starts gacking.

7: Fresh air. See number 2.

8: There is exactly one thing that will sober you up; time. Do NOT drive yourself to the party, or if you do, surrender your keys somewhere.

9: Move around. Although it is fun to sit down, get totally smashed, then stand up and walk.

10: Find somebody whom you can have philosophical conversations with. Tape record them, if possible.

11: All parties are made better by the addition of togas.

12: If there's somebody cute at the party that you'd really like to chat up, make sure that your buds will NOT let you anywhere near her. That won't be with rolling off of your tongue.

13: Make a decision; if you're going to get smashed, get smashed and enjoy it. If you're only going to toast and sip, only toast and sip. If somebody hassles you over it, claim to be allergic, and point out that nobody there's really in a fit shape to drive you to the hospital.

14: If you decide to go for a moonlight hike, and you'd be surprised how much fun they are when you're drunk, try to find a 'handler' to ride herd on your expedition.

15: If drinking beer from a bottle, don't swig; tilt it slowly. This prevents the bottle from premature ejaculation all over your shoes.


And as to 'warning signs,' with me, it's a tingly feeling in the forearms. Like they're going to sleep or something. That means I'm tipsy...

 

[Steve Tannehill]

Sounds like we need to start an online AA meeting.

- Steve

 

[Tom Rags]

Sounds like we need to start an online AA meeting.

I gave up booze for lent, and boy its killing me. I don't "drink to get drunk" anymore, and rarely do I "drink to get buzzed" either (since I left college). However, I love a glass of wine with dinner, and as some may remember from all of those old Ron-P/beer threads, I love the taste of a good ale or lager. Nothing better than a cold beer after a long day.

Giving up a drink/day for me is like my Girlfriend giving up chocolate.

Just remember Chuck, enjoy college...but be smart. Many have given sage advice in this thread. Have fun, but heed the advice. BTW, the best vitamin to take is B-complex vitamins. Just FYI...

 

[DarrenH]

I could offer advice as many of the other wise people have given, but some info that someone new to drinking needs to know about that has not really been brought up....SHOTS!!!!

So, what do you need to know about shots? Many things.

1. First, be careful, as they can be rather powerful.
2. Be careful, as they can get expensive (especially when ordering for a bunch of people)
3. Shots to order for people you don't like (this is my list, mind you)
a) Cement Mixer (1 shot of Irish Cream followed immediately without swallowing by 1 shot of Lime Juice - contents solidify and curdle in the person's mouth )
b) Prairie Fire (tequila and tabasco sauce)
c) Third Reich (Rumpleminze, Goldschlagger, and Jagermeister)
4. Shots that don't taste too bad (again, my list)
a) Kamikaze (vodka, triple sec, and a splash of lime juice)
b) Red Death (amaretto, vodka, triple sec, sloe gin, southern comfort, and OJ - tastes sorta like Hawaiian Punch, and it packs a punch too)
c) Woo-Woo (vodka, peach schnapps, cranberry juice)
5. When doing shots of Aftershock, be careful not to eat too many of the crystals

I could go on and on, but I figure this is at least a good primer.

As for my favorite shot, ice cold Jagermeister, gotta love the deer's blood!

As mentioned before, hydrate with a lot of water or before you go to sleep (or pass out, whatever comes first)

Anyone care to add?

Cheers!

DarrenH

 

[Josh Lowe]

What should I watch out for?

the floor rapidly rising to meet you after beer #3.

 

[Jeff Kleist]

Darren, how could you warn him about the Cement Mixer. You're ruining people's fun

 

[Edwin-S]

the floor rapidly rising to meet you after beer #3.

Geez, you guys down there sure can't hold your liquor,can you? Up here in Canada, three beers is known as a "warm up".

 

[Josh Lowe]

uh, i can hold my beer just fine. but he said it's his first time and was asking what to expect.

 

[Chuck C]

I drank 3 nights in a row this weekend, and I was fine guys...thrus night: shirely temple with stolie, fri night: cap't morgs and coke, sat night: belvedere vodka and shirley temple with a shot of tequila. I was a social butterfly all weekend...euphoric. I didn't get sick, sobered up in about 2-3 hrs after drinking, and here I am to tell the tale!

 

[MickeS]

Priceless advice.

/Mike

 

[Carlo_M]

Agreed Mike! I am allergic to alcohol but in my college days all my buds drank like their mouth was on fire. I was thus the sober one at most of these functions and those conversations are etched in my memory. Contrary to popular belief, they are funny for us sober guys too!

 

[BrettB]

shirely temple with stolie, fri night: cap't morgs and coke, sat night: belvedere vodka and shirley temple with a shot of tequila.

With a Jane Withers chaser?

 

[Steve_Tk]

Enjoy taking shots while you can. I started on those, now I can't do anything but vodka. Once you puke on taking shots on a certain alcohol, you probably will not be able to shoot it again.

Don't take shots after drinking beer.

A lot of people say watch your drink, people will over mix it. Yes that can happen. It's more funny though to dump a lot of alcohol is someone's chaser when they are taking shots.

5: If anybody vomits green, call 911 immediately; they're probably alcohol poisoned

I didn't know that. At a friends Bday party a few weeks ago I drank too much beer then took some shots of Rum. I puked green for a few hours and passed out in my car. Woke up with it all in my car and was shivering because it was 28 degrees outside. Avoid things like this. It isn't fun, and it's not cool.

 

[Chuck C]

ok Brett I admit it...I like girly tasting drinks! I am like JD from scrubs...gimme that Appletini, easy on the tini