How about a Futurama Quote thread

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Scott Strang, Feb 4, 2002.

  1. Scott Strang

    Scott Strang Screenwriter

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    I'll start with my favorite from the illustrious Bender

    "Bite my shiny, metal ass." and "You're just a pimple on societies ass and you'll never amount to anything."
     
  2. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

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    Hey I love Futurama!! Don't miss the new Futurama DVD, complete first season, commentaries on every episode, nice extras, great stuff! (ok enough with the ad).

    ---------------------------

    Bender: Here we are, your new home!

    Fry: Cool... I've never even seen a robot's apartment before!

    Bender: Come on in, I'll give you the tour!

    Bender unlocks and goes in. Fry slowly goes in. Its a 2 cubic metre room. Fry has to squeeze in for Bender to shut the door.

    Bender: Lets see, where to start? Oh yeah... this is the TV area, over there's the breakfast nook, and heres where'll you'll be living, which is great because until now its just been wasted space!

    Fry: Its kinda cramped in here... I don't even have room to hang my clothes!

    Bender: (eyes Fry suspiciously) Look, pal, you've only got one set of clothes, and you're not taking them off while I'm here.

    Fry: Bender, wake up! (shakes him. Bender wakes up, annoyed)

    Bender: I was having the most wonderful dream! I think you were in it.

    Fry: Uh, listen Bender, uh... where's your bathroom?

    Bender: Bath what?

    Fry: Bathroom!

    Bender: What room?

    Fry: Bathroom!!!

    Bender: What what?

    Fry: Ah, never mind.

    ----------------

    Leela : Bender, why are you spending so much time in the

    bathroom? Are you jacking on in there?

    Bender : No! Don't come in!

    Fry : You okay, Bender?

    Bender : None of your business! Get off my back!

    ---------------------

    Zapp: Remember, our mission is simple -- destroy all aliens.

    Kif: [raises his hand] Er, um ... not me, sir.

    Zapp: Oh, yes ... right. Nobody destroy Kif. Unless you have to.

    [Zapp spots Leela among the ranks]

    Zapp: Oh, ho ... ho ... The luscious captian Leela. This is turning into one very sexy struggle for the future of the human race.

    Leela: Thanks, but I'm not technically human.

    Zapp: Right, right. [loudly] Nobody destroy Leela, either.

    Zapp: [squints] What the hell is that thing?

    Kif: It appears to be the mother ship.

    Zapp: Then what did we just blow up?

    Kif: [checks map] The hubble telescope.
     
  3. McPaul

    McPaul Screenwriter

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    There's really a DVD coming out? when? any more details?
     
  4. Steve Christou

    Steve Christou Long Member

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    Paul, I bought it a few days ago from my high street shop, 3 discs, 13 episodes season one, commentary by Groening on every episode, a few other extras, deleted scenes etc.

    Should be already out in the US?
     
  5. Scott Strang

    Scott Strang Screenwriter

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    Uhh, I don't think we'll be seeing the DVD in region 1 anytime soon. I have heard of the European release though.

    It pisses me off that they aren't releasing it here.

    Futurama consistently makes me laugh my ass off.

    One of the best shows of all time.
     
  6. McPaul

    McPaul Screenwriter

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    Thanks guys.
     
  7. David Williams

    David Williams Cinematographer

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    Okay, this first one earns my vote as the hands-down, funniest exchange bar none on Futurama (this episode also earns my vote as most laugh-inducing):
    (Fry, Bender, Zapp, and Kif have been captured by Amazons)
    Femputer: After lengthy femputations, I, Femputer, have decided the fate of the men. Femputer sentences them to death...
    (everyone gasps)
    Femputer: by snu-snu!
    Fry, Zapp, Bender: Yeah! Woo-hoo! (Kif starts sobbing)
    Zapp (to Kif): What are you? Gay?
    ----------
    Amazon: It time snu-snu!
    Fry: Can't we just cuddle? (Amazon grabs him) Nooooo!
    ----------
    (After being assaulted by the sex-starved Amazons)
    Zapp: We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
    ----------
    (Aliens are attacking Earth)
    Zapp: Since this is an emergency, all robots will now have their patriotism circuits activated. (He engages Bender's circuit)
    Bender: It is every robot's duty to give his life for the good of humanity - (circuit deactivates) - Aw, crap!
    Zapp: Am I right, soldier?
    Bender: Well actually, I - (circuit activates) - Sir, yes sir! Sir!
    ----------
    (Futurama in-show commercials)
    TV Announcer: Planet Express - Our crew is replaceable, your package isn't!
    TV Announcer: Futurama is brought to you by: Glagnar's Human Rinds - It's a buncha, muncha, cruncha... human. (crunch)
    TV Announcer: Lightspeed Briefs - Style and comfort for the discriminating crotch.
    ----------
    Amy: There, how do I look?
    Prof. Farnsworth: Like a cheap French harlot.
    Amy: (disappointed) French?
    ----------
    (Fry and co. are being terrorized by the robot Santa Claus)
    Fry: Please let us live. We'll put out milk and cookies for you!
    Robot Santa: You dare bribe Santa! I'm going to shove coal so far up your stocking you'll be coughing up diamonds!!
    And of course just about everything that comes out of the mouth of Morbo and Pres. Nixon's Head.
     
  8. Dominik Droscher

    Dominik Droscher Supporting Actor

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    When Bender is made Human:
    Bender: "Hey! My antenna's gone! (looks down) Nah, it just moved. I'm not getting good reception on it though. Maybe if I wiggle it around a little."
    Fry: "No Bender! You'll make God cry!"
    I have no idea how they got away with that. [​IMG]
     
  9. Dominik Droscher

    Dominik Droscher Supporting Actor

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    Farnsworth: "You mustn’t interfere with the past. Don’t do anything that affects anything. Unless it turns out you were supposed to do it, in which case, for the love of god, don’t not do it."
    Fry: "Got it."
    Farnsworth: "If for example, you were to kill your grandfather, you would seize to exist."
    Fry: (gasp) "But existing is basically all I do."
     
  10. Scott McGillivray

    Scott McGillivray Supporting Actor

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    Steve: Ya stole my favorite bit! I love that bathroom gag! I use it all the time when people ask me questions.
    "Where is Joe Smith?"
    "Joe What?"
    "Joe Smith"
    "What Smith?"
    "Joe Smith"
    "What what?"
    Cracks me up every time.[​IMG] (Ticks people off though...oh well)
    P.S. Are you guys actually remembering the scripts that well or are you cutting and pasting from some official script??? If that is from memory...bravo!
     
  11. Rob Speicher

    Rob Speicher Supporting Actor

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  12. Matty Bradshaw

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    Bender: Look Fry I'm steering with my ass

    Fry: That's the best thing i've ever seen
     
  13. David Lawson

    David Lawson Screenwriter

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    Zoidberg: "You know Zap Branigan?"

    Leela (disgusted): "We've crossed paths."

    Bender: "Was that before or after you slept with him?"
     
  14. BrandonL

    BrandonL Stunt Coordinator

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    (after Bender turns into a human and starts to throw up all over the place)

    Zoidberg: "Hooray it's just like Mardi Gras"
     
  15. Chucky P

    Chucky P Supporting Actor

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    "We're Whalers on the Moon!"

    "We're Whalers on the Moon!"

    "Where are the Whales?"

    "There are no Whales!"

    "We're Whalers on the Moon!"
     
  16. CharlesD

    CharlesD Screenwriter

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    "my love for you is like the sun and the moon and the POETIC IMAGE 37 NOT FOUND"

    Unfortuntely we will likely be denied Futurama on DVD for some time to protect FOX's ability to make money from eventual syndication of the series. They will still make money off of selling us the DVDs 3 to 5 years from now but figure they'll get less from the syndicaiton rights in the US if its already available on DVD.
     

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