funny email

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by RobP, Feb 8, 2002.

  1. RobP

    RobP Stunt Coordinator

    Apr 4, 2001
    Likes Received:
    In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed

    >through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer



    >On a Sear's hairdryer:

    >Do not use while sleeping.

    >(damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).


    >On a bag of Fritos:

    >..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.

    >Details in side. (the shoplifter special)?


    >On a bar of Dial soap:

    >"Directions: Use like regular soap."

    >(and that would be how???....)


    >On some Swanson frozen dinners:

    >"Serving suggestion: Defrost."

    >(but, it's "just" a suggestion).


    >On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):

    >"Do not turn upside down."

    >(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!


    >On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

    >"Product will be hot after heating."

    >(...and you thought????...)


    >On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

    >"Do not iron clothes on body."

    >(but wouldn't this save me more time)?


    >On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:

    >"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

    >(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if

    >we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)


    >On Nytol Sleep Aid:

    >"Warning: May cause drowsiness."

    >(and...I'm taking this because???....)


    >On most brands of Christmas lights:

    >"For indoor or outdoor use only."

    >(as opposed to...what)?


    >On a Japanese food processor:

    >"Not to be used for the other use."

    >(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)


    >On Sunsbury's peanuts:

    >"Warning: contains nuts."

    >(talk about a news flash)


    >On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

    >"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

    >(Step 3: maybe, Delta?)


    >On a child's superman costume:

    >"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

    >(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)


    >On a Swedish chainsaw:

    >"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands ."

    (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
  2. Jesse Skeen

    Jesse Skeen Producer

    Apr 24, 1999
    Likes Received:
    Does it really say that on a Superman costume? If it does, I'm tempted to buy one and wear it with that prominently displayed!
  3. Joseph DeMartino

    Joseph DeMartino Lead Actor

    Jun 30, 1997
    Likes Received:
    Real Name:
    Joseph DeMartino

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