Only in America! (1 Viewer)

[Jeff Kleist]

Where does the "white" in the snow go when it melts?

Ice crystals reflect light very well, so they're white en masse

 

[Marvin]

I know someone whos friend ordered a bunch of burgers, fries and a Diet Coke at McDonalds...Some woman said to him "Why bother with the Diet Coke?"

The kid said to her "Because if I order a regular Coke, I'd DIE!" (He's diabetic)

I suppose the "bunch of burgers" and the fries take a little longer to kill.

 

[Mark Fitzsimmons]

How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

Now those seeing eye dogs have to be good for something more than walking. . . something along the lines of. . . "bark once if its dirty, bark twice if its clean"

 

[Tommy Ceez]

Why when we walk into our apartments does the sudden urge to kill our cat and burn the place down occur?

Why is there a guy who whispers into our ears and when we turn around theres no one there?

Hmmmmmmmmm....

 

[MarkHastings]

Tommy, I don't know about killing your cat, but if you want to kill something, try killing the voice in your head:
http://www.prozac.com/

 

[LaMarcus]

Mark Fitzsimmons I have never, laughed that hard before in my entire life at a post. I don't know how funny everyone else thought that was (including you), but it must have just hit me at the right time because I had tears in my eyes.

This is a great thread. I've some for ya.

-If the store says open 24/7 then why do they have locks on the front door?

-If a prisoner is sentenced to life, so he's never getting out. Why should he obey any rules? Are they going to sentence him to never EVER getting out?

-Why sentence a person to serve 2 life sentences consecutively? When they die and are reincarnated, will they have to finish their sentence? " Get your ass in there lil' Johnny, we remember that $#!T you did".

 

[MarkHastings]

I don't know how funny everyone else thought that was

I didn't laugh because I thought he was telling the truth

 

[Mark Fitzsimmons]

Thanks for the props LaMarcus, I appreciate it.

 

[Yee-Ming]

-If a prisoner is sentenced to life, so he's never getting out. Why should he obey any rules? Are they going to sentence him to never EVER getting out?

-Why sentence a person to serve 2 life sentences consecutively? When they die and are reincarnated, will they have to finish their sentence? " Get your ass in there lil' Johnny, we remember that $#!T you did".

(1) Because even in prison, there are levels to the treatment; misbehave and you get sent to solitary, privileges revoked etc.

(2) A life sentence still allows for the possibility of parole (unless explicitly excluded), so I guess theoretically once you serve one sentence and get paroled, you start serving the second sentence. By the same token, it doesn't make sense to sentence someone to, say, 700 years in prison, until you consider eligibility for parole after serving, say, one-third; in the case of a 700 year sentence, you'd be a stately 250+ by then...