Friend turns 30, and I get depressed.

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Patrick Sun, Nov 8, 2001.

  1. Patrick Sun

    Patrick Sun Moderator
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    A friend of mine turned 30 yesterday, and he's talking about what he wants to do with the rest of his life, if he wants a new direction for his job, blah blah blah. But he's married and father of 3 kids, so he can't just up and leave as easily.
    Anyhow, this introspection bummed me out because I'm facing my 35th b-day, and sometimes I feel like just packing things up, hitting the road, and seeing what it gets me. Maybe it's the rudderlessness that I'm feeling at this point in my life. But anyhow, it got me thinking and depressed.
    Anyone else get depressed by someone else's birthday?
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  2. Chad Isaacs

    Chad Isaacs Supporting Actor

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    I just had a birthday on sunday.I am only 26 but I got sort of depressed.I have been a stay home dad for a few years because I have 2 special needs kids.Well,I got to thinking..hmm,I cannot retire on this,I need to get somehting together.
    Then,I have spent some time looking into going back to school or working part time,but my son is not yet 4 and I cant really afford day care so..
    Yesterday,I get a call from my daughters teacher,she said that they have a new program and thought my son would be a good canidate for the program.He is to be starting some evaluations soon.Hopfully once that ball gets rolling I can start somthing for my self.
    I really do not know what I want.I am really thinking for now mabey a part time job at an electronics store(no,not best buy or circut city,one of the nicer ones) and while I do that,look into getting into a school and seeing what appeals to me.
    Hopfully this time next year,I will have a better idea what I want to do with my life.
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  3. brentl

    brentl Cinematographer

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    Patrick ; I know how you feel
    For as long as I can remember I've always said that I don't want a home or kids, but I'd love a good strudy backback and to travel the world, working when I need nmoney.
    I guess I am not really a planner ..wife by 35, kids by 40, house by 80..that kind of thing.
    Damn I hate it when I have plans 2-3days away.
    Brent L
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  4. SteveGon

    SteveGon Executive Producer

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    Patrick, I know exactly how you feel. I recently turned 35 and the feeling to settle down with someone has really hit me hard. Not to mention my mother's constant carping on the subject! [​IMG] Ah well, one of these days, I'll find someone to put up with me...
     
  5. Michael Reuben

    Michael Reuben Studio Mogul

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  6. Scott Strang

    Scott Strang Screenwriter

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    I'm turning 36 in December and I'm also depressed. I will have been married 4 years in Feb of next year. The sad part is that we don't have kids yet and I've never fathered any. My dad died in 1984 and my mom died in 1999. It's hard to describe but when both of your parents are gone and even though I'm a grown married man, it still leaves a void that is sometimes unsettling. I dearly love my wife and my life could only get better in two ways; become a father and get rich.
    When I hold my newborn nephew, it makes me happy and increses my desire to be a dad. My wife has worse withdrawels that I do when not around him. He's just so damned sweet.
    I think my biological clock is ticking and rather than my wife getting pregnant and making me a father my clock will actually be a bomb that explodes and kills me.
    The moral of the story is.......................
    hell who knows. I guess just be glad you're healthy, get laid occasionally and have a cool hobby.
    (Philosopher mode activated)
    Our lives are divided into chapters. Every time something significant happens in one's life, it marks the end of one and beginning of a chapter. Once in a while we go back to a previous chapter, but only via pictures, videos, films, letters, etc. Then we return to the current chapter.
    (Philosopher mode deactivated)
    Example, I saved every single piece of email my wife sent me even before we started dating. I look back on that email and am able to see meaning in her writtings that I didn't see then. This is because I've learned more about her and the way she operates. It's fun.
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    Stolen from a BBS in 1985
    [Edited last by Scott Strang on November 08, 2001 at 10:16 AM]
     
  7. SteveA

    SteveA Supporting Actor

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    I will turn 30 this coming Monday and one thing that's helped me put everything in perspective and feel good about this milestone in my life is a song by Tim McGraw called "My Next 30 Years".
    The lyrics start off as follows:
    I think I'll take a moment
    To celebrate my age
    The ending of an era
    And the turning of a page
    Now it's time to focus in on where I go from here
    Lord have mercy on my next 30 years.
    In my next 30 years
    I'm gonna have some fun
    Try to forget about all the crazy things I've done
    Maybe now I've conquered all my adolescent fears
    I'll do it better in my next 30 years......
     
  8. Bob McLaughlin

    Bob McLaughlin Screenwriter

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    Hey Patrick,
    Tell me how it feels being 34, I will be that age in just 15 days!
    I find it alarming when people I remember being born are getting married or having babies of their own. My youngest sister is getting married next spring, and she was born recently, in late 1979!
     
  9. Patrick Sun

    Patrick Sun Moderator
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  10. Dave Morton

    Dave Morton Supporting Actor

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    Well, I'm 34 and have a 11 month old boy running around the house. Let me tell you that you have to think young to constantly entertain this child but it is exhausting, which makes me feel like an old man. Of course the gray hairs coming in doesn't help. At least it's not falling out.
    Scott: Be careful what you ask for, you just may get it.
    Seriously, I can sympathize with you because my wife and I had a difficult time to conceive my son and it did stink when others were having babies. But, two months ago we decided to try for the second, figuring it would take a few months, but BAMMMM!! First try and our second one is coming in seven more months. Go Figure.
    But it only gets better with age, like fine wine. [​IMG]
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  11. Scott Strang

    Scott Strang Screenwriter

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    Dave Sez...
     
  12. BryanZ

    BryanZ Screenwriter

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    See, Patrick. See what you get for hitting almost 8,250 posts? [​IMG]
    On the more serious side, just write down one thing you'd like to do and try to do it.
    [Edited last by BryanZ on November 08, 2001 at 03:24 PM]
     
  13. Jack Briggs

    Jack Briggs Executive Producer

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    Funny, Patrick: When I turned 35 in 19**, I found myself a little depressed--whereas hitting 34 and 36 didn't phase me. Something about that number. Life's had its ups and downs since for me (going through a down cycle presently). But, for some reason, I keep looking at the bright side.
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  14. Patrick Sun

    Patrick Sun Moderator
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    Well, the number 35 is one of my lucky numbers (I always asked for it as a jersey number, with 18 being my back lucky number), so perhaps year 35 will be a good one. Keeping my fingers crossed.
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  15. Chad R

    Chad R Cinematographer

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    Chad Issaacs,
    I too just had a birthday this past Sunday. I turned 29, but it's still kinda weird our names being the same and all.
    Coincidentally, I too am thinking of going back to school. My current degree is just a piece of toilet paper (a film degree) and reall helps me very little. I think I'm headed back for my masters so I can teach community college or something.
    Chad R
     
  16. Mike_Carroll

    Mike_Carroll Agent

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    Partick,
    Just hang in there. The last fifteen years for me seem to be a blur, and it gets very depressing to see your friends and loved ones turn old. It's just a natural feeling that we all go through. You must except that life doesn't stand still and live each day as it is your last.
    best regards,
    Mike Carroll Jr.
    http://www.cestcop.com
     
  17. Scott-C

    Scott-C Supporting Actor

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    Patrick,
    Your words really resonate with me, particularly the comment about feeling "rudderlessness" at this stage of your life. This has been such a strange year for me - one one hand, I got married in May, and it's been great. My wife is an absolute gem and I couldn't ask for more. In many other respects, however, it's been quite a hard year. I was laid off last week, and even though I've been job-hunting for a few months, nothing has turned up and it's pretty depressing. What's also hard for me is the fact that I feel such malaise over my current career path and feel like I also would like to try something different. But it seems so difficult, since my interests don't always align with my qualifications. This puts me in a position of confusion over how to proceed with the job search, and I'm ending up applying for all kinds of jobs (hence the rudderlessness I'm feeling).
    We were robbed 3 weeks after our honeymoon, and my wife lost all of her jewelry, and that's been hard to overcome. We feel like we can't spend the insurance claim check since we're a one-income family right now.
    Now that I've depressed everybody (sorry - that wasn't my intention!), I would just add that it's important to keep all of this in perspective, On Sept. 11, thousands of people's lives were changed in ways that are far more negative than anything I've had to deal with. Things can always be worse - if you have your health, and family, then you are blessed!
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  18. Jeff Kleist

    Jeff Kleist Executive Producer

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    RENEW RENEW RENEW RENEW RENEW RENEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Can't believe I'm the first one to hit that [​IMG]
     
  19. Kirk Gunn

    Kirk Gunn Screenwriter

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    Chad - you mentioned you're a stay-at-home dad for 2 special needs kids, but you need to find something better....
    For your kids, there will be nothing better. I admire you for your priorities these past 4 yrs. It takes guts to pass up everything the "working world" has to offer, and ensure they have the best care a family can give.
    You have plenty of time to "live your life". My father retired as an engineer at 55 and became a minister for the next 20 yrs (after he obtained his Master of Theology at Harvard). Life is too short to waste, but long enough to enjoy, no matter when you decide to start "living".
    I'm turning 40 in August.... What a Party I'm going to have !!!!
     

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