When he went to the trunk, I naturally thought "weapon" as well. The girl between us said "Go!" -- but there was no way that was gonna happen (Bobby, you watch too many movies ). I realize the shirt thing sounds weird, but it happened very fast.
Anyway, You're not gonna believe this. Last night, I ran into one of the other two girls (you thought I was gonna say him eh?) in a bar. We chatted a bit, then she gave me a hug and said "thank you for sticking up for us the other night". I was completly shocked -- too much to even joke about how she could show me her gratitude some other way .
Pride and ego, Brian. Not to brag, but I am used to diffusing such situations just by showing up. This time I wasn't much of a deterrent and this guy took me on with impunity. But it's clearly for the best, I am over it.
edit. Thought I was in the pig thread. Anyway, in front of your buddies, dont fight. 3 ladies. Youve gotta throw down and brawl!
Edit: I wouldn't personally, im a lover not a fighter. But you once beat up some geeky 16 year old so im pretty sure you could handle a bouncer. (that was a joke)
Which you didn't let get the better of you. You took thoughtful action that contradicted your feelings, which is a true mark of intelligence. So you should be proud and, um, ego-fied, or whatever. But not too much, now.
But if you ever run into this joker again and want to take him on, I've got a Superman tee-shirt you're welcome to use.
Well, any altercation you walk away from is a success in my book so well done on not getting your nose broken or spending the night in prison.
I know exactly the feeling, you feel all deflated, kind of guilty that maybe you didn't behave perfectly and kind of like a coward for not smacking him, and a bit like maybe you were a victim. It's all conflicting and confusing. It's a terrible feeling.
Here's my advice in dealing with it, for what it's worth. Perhaps you could have done something different and can learn from what happened. You were there and we weren't so try and think about how you tried to diffuse the situation, perhaps by motioning the guy to calm down, Could you have done it differently that wouldn't have caused him to kick off? If so then take something possitive from it. The next time it happens, you'll feel good that you handled it even better. If you honestly can't see a way you could have handled it better then take pride in the fact that you diffused the situation the best way possible.
Having said that, I've never been in a fight so am uniquely unqualified to say anything. The only time I came close was in a tube station in London and it's not very exciting I'm afraid. A group of maybe 15-16 year olds were flicking the backs of peoples ears just hard enought to be annoying and then pretending ti wasn't them. They obviously found this hilarious. Anyway they did it to me and I told them to stop so they followed me down the corridor and surrounded me, trying to be all intimidating. Actually it was a bit pathetic. One of them tried to reach for me, I think he was aiming for my lapel but it was a bit half-arsed, they were expecting to be scarier than they were and so the wind was out of their sales. I put him in a simple arm lock and pushed him away for want of a better idea but it seemed to have the desired affect. After that they dispersed but continued to mouth off. Their parting threat was "I'm going to find you in ten years and beat you up."
That's a bold statement from someone who's probably going to be in jail by the time.
Holadem,
Smart move. The way I see it, you had to be the bigger man, and your decision ensured no one got hurt. Most martial art philosophers tell you to avoid violent confrontation if at all possible, for good reason too.
With all the crazy people out there I would never enter a fight. Is he gonna pull a weapon? Will he hold a grudge on you and come back for revenge? Possible lawsuits and what not. Simply not worth the risk playing his game the way he wants it.
I learned an important lesson in college. I was at a bar dancing with a friend. Some buffed out nimrod decides he'd rather dance with her and steps in front of me. I respectfully told him he could have the next dance. He pushed me away. I came back and told him he needed to settle down and he pushed me harder, I amost fell over. I realized at this point that I really had little choice. I had my fist balled and as I was righting myself I planned to follow right through with my fist into his jaw with an uppercut with all of my weight behind it. I hoped that'd be enough to lay him out because if it weren't I was gonna get a beating. He was one buff gorilla! As I'm coming up I felt a hand grab my fist. IT was my friend who led me off the floor and left the buff bozo standing alone looking like the dick that he was. - a MUCH better ending than the one I had planned.
Lesson learned - always try to walk away - especially if you can expose the bozo in the process. I'd be your three girlfriends (you dirty-dog you!) are very certain who the bozo was.
When some says they are going to kick my ___ I just tell them I have a good doctor and a better lawyer so take your best shot . As others have said, this could have turned out very badly for you. Regardless of who actually won the fight. At best you would have walked away feeling pumped up and "macho" making you more likely to want to fight your way out next time as well (it's like a disease). At worst? Several things. You run into him and three of his friends next weekend. A fight does take place and one of you hits their head on the curb when they fall. Or weapons could have been involved. I'v been shot at twice. Once as a teenager while working at a gas station (I wouldn't give them free gas). The other time was pretty serious. About 20 years ago, after a parking lot "stare down", two guys put several bullets in the back of my truck while trying to force me off a deserted hwy (101 between Novato and Petaluma for Bay Area members) later that night. Needless to say, it changed the way I did things from then on. They say it takes courage to face your fears. It can be just as hard to walk away from them. Hospitals and jails are full of people who wish they had done something a little differently the night before. Just be glad you're not one of them.