Your favorite TV quotes of all time

Discussion in 'TV on DVD and Blu-ray' started by Ron1973, Jun 5, 2014.

  1. Ron1973

    Ron1973 Beverly Hillbilles nut extraordinaire

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2012
    Messages:
    1,705
    Likes Received:
    1,025
    Location:
    SE Missouri
    Real Name:
    Ron Reagan (not that one!)
    Aside from the quote in my sig line, my favorite has to be Fred and Esther on Sanford and Son:

    Esther: When I's born, my body was blessed by Mother Nature, honey!Fred: (looking her up and down) Yeah, and as you got older, it was CURSED by Father Time!
     
    Bob_S. and MatthewA like this.
  2. Jack P

    Jack P Producer

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2006
    Messages:
    3,860
    Likes Received:
    1,099
    Best Sanford and Son quote:

    Officer Hoppy-"You know that soul food smells just like hammer hocks and black-eyed rice."

    Best Voyage To The Bottom of the Sea quote:

    "We don't know anyone in Norfolk, Virginia anyway!'
     
    Ron1973 likes this.
  3. Ron1973

    Ron1973 Beverly Hillbilles nut extraordinaire

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2012
    Messages:
    1,705
    Likes Received:
    1,025
    Location:
    SE Missouri
    Real Name:
    Ron Reagan (not that one!)
    I remember Fred telling someone (probably Grady) about a beauty pageant contestant:"I don't like to talk about nobody but she looked like the part of the Polaroid that you tear off!"

    Then when Jethro was joining the reserves on The Beverly Hillbillies, the colonel explained to him the following:"Now that you're joining the military you'll be filling out lots of forms. Name, address, date of birth are all fine. But, Jethro, where it says 'sex,' write 'male' not 'oh, boy!'"
     
    Bob_S. and JoeDoakes like this.
  4. Ejanss

    Ejanss Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2012
    Messages:
    2,452
    Likes Received:
    375
    Real Name:
    EricJ
    I could make a list of all the Flintstones quotes that became our second language, growing up in our family--
    Of which my favorite, though, has to be the time Wilma and Betty won a slogan contest for a meatball company:
    TV Announcer: "Congratulations, ladies, for your winning slogan, 'Mother MacGuire's Meatballs don't bounce'....
    (suddenly serious voice) And ladies and gentlemen--(splat!)--THEY DON'T."

    As for all-time favorite TV quote, I've found there's some kind of genius in Joel Hodgson's MST3K-ism, after an annoying character was killed off in a movie:"He died as he lived: With his mouth wide open."
     
    Ron1973 likes this.
  5. Richard V

    Richard V Cinematographer

    Joined:
    May 14, 2009
    Messages:
    2,103
    Likes Received:
    531
    Real Name:
    Richard
    Get Smart - Maxwell Smart, "Sorry about that, Chief".
     
    Ron1973 likes this.
  6. David Weicker

    David Weicker Cinematographer

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2005
    Messages:
    2,359
    Likes Received:
    631
    Real Name:
    David
    Law And OrderDr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Right now, I've got to get a javelin out of somebody's chest.Lennie Briscoe: What made you go into this line of work?Dr. Elizabeth Rodgers: Free javelins.
     
  7. Rob_Ray

    Rob_Ray Screenwriter
    Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2004
    Messages:
    1,819
    Likes Received:
    1,120
    Location:
    Southern California
    Real Name:
    Rob Ray
    I Love Lucy:

    Lucy: Ever since we said 'I do' there are so many things we don't.

    ***
    Lucy: I write a check out to the beauty parlor every month.

    Ricky: Yes, I know that, but they don't always have a little note in the back like this one: "Dear Teller, be a lamb, and don't put this through 'til next month." Now, what do you gotta say for yourself?

    Lucy: That's why they call 'em "tellers." They go around blabbing everything they know!
     
    Josh Steinberg, MatthewA and Ron1973 like this.
  8. DisneySwan1990

    DisneySwan1990 Stunt Coordinator

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2014
    Messages:
    162
    Likes Received:
    9
    Real Name:
    Sagalina Hazzan
    NYPD Blue: Sipowicz"Shut up or I'll break your jaw!!!""I don't wanna beat the crap outta ya.""If I can do it, I can do it."
     
  9. Jeff Willis

    Jeff Willis Producer

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2005
    Messages:
    3,387
    Likes Received:
    244
    Location:
    Dallas TX
    [media]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpGx4foRdPw&list=RDqpGx4foRdPw[/media]










    The Longer Ranger: "A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust, and a hearty 'Hi-ho, Silver, away!'"

    Wagon Train (Ward Bond seasons): "Wagons, Ho!"
     
    Gary OS and Ron1973 like this.
  10. Gary OS

    Gary OS Producer

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2004
    Messages:
    4,744
    Likes Received:
    1,452
    Real Name:
    Gary
    Andy Griffith Show - Brisco Darling, "More power to ya."




    Gary "another great topic - thanks Ron!" O.
     
    Ron1973 and Jeff Willis like this.
  11. Cinescott

    Cinescott Supporting Actor

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2010
    Messages:
    848
    Likes Received:
    162
    Location:
    Milwaukee, WI
    Real Name:
    Scott
    "I am the one who knocks." Breaking Bad
     
    TravisR likes this.
  12. Gary OS

    Gary OS Producer

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2004
    Messages:
    4,744
    Likes Received:
    1,452
    Real Name:
    Gary
    One of my all-time favorite episodes of The Andy Griffith Show - "Mountain Wedding" - has several of my favorite quotes of all time. In one 4 minute section alone there are many quotes that just kill me:

    "Look out here. Can you see me?"

    Ernest T Bass's tune up & song

    "I'm saving up for a gold tooth"

    "Ever since I saw a hangin' I've been nervous about wearing one of these things."

    "The boys ain't much on compliments"

    "Stop that boy. You want your face to freeze thata way."




    Gary "I pull that episode out and watch it at least a couple of times a year" O.
     
  13. Gary OS

    Gary OS Producer

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2004
    Messages:
    4,744
    Likes Received:
    1,452
    Real Name:
    Gary
    I Love Lucy - "Job Switching" - the scene with Ricky and Fred talking about making dinner.

    Ricky - "Fred, what do you know about rice?"

    Fred - "I know it was thrown at me on one of the darkest days of my life."



    Gary "couldn't find a clip of that one - but it's one of my favorites" O.
     
  14. Rob_Ray

    Rob_Ray Screenwriter
    Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2004
    Messages:
    1,819
    Likes Received:
    1,120
    Location:
    Southern California
    Real Name:
    Rob Ray
    Another I LOVE LUCY, from one of the episodes where they are preparing to go to Europe: Fred finds his old WWI Doughboy uniform and tries it on after nearly 40 years, saying "Look at me! I'm a Doughboy!"

    LUCY: "Whoever put the dough in that boy used too much yeast."
     
  15. Rob_Ray

    Rob_Ray Screenwriter
    Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2004
    Messages:
    1,819
    Likes Received:
    1,120
    Location:
    Southern California
    Real Name:
    Rob Ray
    BEWITCHED - "Endora Meets What's His Name" -

    NEIGHBOR BOY to ENDORA after she tells him she's a witch: "Are you a good witch or a bad witch?"
    ENDORA: Comme ci comme ca.
     
    ScottDombrowski and JohnMor like this.
  16. Dan McW

    Dan McW Second Unit

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2004
    Messages:
    414
    Likes Received:
    64
    Real Name:
    Dan
    THE FUGITIVE - "The Other Side of the Mountain"

    Sheriff (R.G. Armstrong) to owner of dogs tracking Kimble: "Them dogs couldn't track a bear through a flour mill."
     
  17. Rob_Ray

    Rob_Ray Screenwriter
    Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2004
    Messages:
    1,819
    Likes Received:
    1,120
    Location:
    Southern California
    Real Name:
    Rob Ray
    THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES: When asked if her "rheumatiz medicine" helped her rheumatism, she replied:

    "I've had rheumatiz for nigh onto forty years. -- (lowering her voice): Loved every minute of it!"
     
    Ron1973 likes this.
  18. smithbrad

    smithbrad Screenwriter

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2013
    Messages:
    1,041
    Likes Received:
    961
    Real Name:
    Brad
    Lots of memorable quotes being provided.

    Some shows can be identified by a single quote. Jeff already listed a quote from Hill Street Blues that fits that category.

    The quote I'm going to provide is from a lesser known Western, but it also fits the bill, and it's the first thing that comes to mind whenever I think of the show "Guns of Will Sonnett". Walter Brennan saying "No brag... just fact."
     
    Gary OS likes this.
  19. Ron1973

    Ron1973 Beverly Hillbilles nut extraordinaire

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2012
    Messages:
    1,705
    Likes Received:
    1,025
    Location:
    SE Missouri
    Real Name:
    Ron Reagan (not that one!)
    Reminds me of the first episode where Jed is attempting to convince Granny to move to Californy. He reminds her that she always felt so miserable walking down to the still in the cold.

    Granny replied: "I might feel miserable goin' down but the way I feel's comin' back makes up fer it!"
     
    Rob_Ray likes this.
  20. JohnMor

    JohnMor Producer
    Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2004
    Messages:
    4,065
    Likes Received:
    1,296
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Real Name:
    John Moreland
    So many to choose from, but here are a few of my favorites:

    Ethel Mertz: "Ethel to Tillie. Ethel to Tillie. Come in Tillie."

    Ethel Mertz: "She called me a hippopotamus!"
    Lucy Ricardo: "Oh, I did not. I said you were a little 'hippy.' But on second glance, you DO have the biggest potamus I've ever seen!"

    Laura Petrie: "Well, Alan, there must be some needy bald people!"

    Laura Petrie: "I was playing with a drip!"

    John Steed: "Mrs. Peel, we're needed."

    Customer: "This is an EX parrot!"

    Edith Bunker: "Cling peaches. In heavy syrup."

    Edina Monsoon: "Why don't we just have a stupidity tax? Why don't we just tax the stupid people?!"
     
    ScottDombrowski likes this.

Share This Page