Things You’ve Seen in Movies or TV But will Never See in Life (1 Viewer)

[dvdclon]

Actors portraying rockstars/popstars playing a guitar (or piano), where it is obvious they're not playing the correct notes + chords on the guitar (or piano) corresponding in the accompanying music in a scene.

This is especially noticible if you know what the note/chord patterns are suppose to look like on the guitar neck or piano keyboard corresponding to particular note/chord sounds in a piece of music.

To my eyes as a former musician, it is very aggravating to watch and notice such deviations.

Related to this is when people go to see a singer performing, the singer just finishes a song, hands off their instrument (if any) to a nameless bandmate and then sits down to talk with the visitors, leaving the poor band to fend for themselves.

Having been in "poor bands," this offends me mightily!

 

[Thomas Newton]

Superman breaks in on a group of mobsters or bank robbers. They immediately try to machine gun him to death. Even though any criminal who has more than an ounce of brains, and wasn't born last night, should know that this is an exercise in futility.

 

[Yee-Ming]

Actors portraying rockstars/popstars playing a guitar (or piano), where it is obvious they're not playing the correct notes + chords on the guitar (or piano) corresponding in the accompanying music in a scene.

This is especially noticible if you know what the note/chord patterns are suppose to look like on the guitar neck or piano keyboard corresponding to particular note/chord sounds in a piece of music.

To my eyes as a former musician, it is very aggravating to watch and notice such deviations.

Makes one appreciate the instances where the actor took the trouble to learn enough of the instrument to convincingly portray playing the instrument even more. Better yet, actors who actually can play, and do: case in point, Scott Bakula, who really can play piano, and does so every now and then on NCIS New Orleans, and used to back on Quantum Leap.

 

[Thomas Newton]

White-hat hackers break into computers in five minutes, even when the computers belong to the military or the NSA.

The targeted agencies sometimes have alarms telling them that an incursion is in progress, but rarely have controls to instantly lock down their network connections and cut off the incursion.

 

[Brent Reid]

This thread could run forever. IMDb's late, lamented forums had countless, frequently hilarious threads like this, usually titled "100 Things I Learned from Watching... [name of film]". Then of course, there's always TV Tropes.com. A couple more:

Computer keyboards and screens that make clicking or beeping noises when in use. They always do it – aaargh!

Important but blurry, low-def image or video? No problemo: "Hit zoom–enhance. Again. And again." Voilà: microscopic detail! Why don't they use this feature when remastering old films from dupey materials? The most recent thing I saw this in was Taken (2008). It's such a trope that I've always believed they included it as a deadpan p*sstake. I ought to check the audio commentary for that scene.

That being the case, how about notable films that deliberately (usually by breaking the fourth wall) point out how ridiculous such tropes are? The first one that springs to mind is Arnie's Last Action Hero; I lost count of the number of tropes it flagged up!

 

[Tony Bensley]

A person opens a door from the outside and comes into a room, but you never see them close the door. All through the scene I am thinking “don’t forget to close the door!” “don’t forget to close the door!”

Ironically, some millennial exclaiming "Shut the front door!" in response to being surprised by something!

 

[Thomas Newton]

In a non-superhero TV show or movie, aliens who come to Earth will:

1. Try to do something very nefarious, such as killing or enslaving everyone,
2. Act benignly and get persecuted by heavily-armed black-ops types, or
3. Become the stars of TV sitcoms

 

[Thomas Newton]

Animals speaking to each other, in English, whenever humans are not around.

 

[Tony Bensley]

The native citizens all speaking fluent English in predominantly non English speaking countries. The most glaring examples are shows that also feature some native English speakers. Hogan's Heroes is a prime early example of across the board English speaking in a non English speaking country between native and non native speakers.

CHEERS!

 

[Thomas Newton]

On police chase shows, suspects will try to get away from cops by engaging in high-speed, reckless, and often hit-and-run driving. Eventually a suspect will crash. Now, capture has become virtually inevitable. But does the suspect realize this and give up?

Of course not. He flees on foot, often prompting cops to send dogs after him. Tough dogs, like German Shepherds, that are well-equipped to "take a bite out of crime."

 

[Chip_HT]

That actually happens in real life.

 

[Kevin Hewell]

That actually happens in real life.

I was thinking the same thing.

 

[Yee-Ming]

The native citizens all speaking fluent English in predominantly non English speaking countries. The most glaring examples are shows that also feature some native English speakers. Hogan's Heroes is a prime early example of across the board English speaking in a non English speaking country between native and non native speakers.

CHEERS!

That's sort-of to be expected if you're watching an English-language movie made for an English-speaking audience, really.

Where it gets "fun" is, say, in 'Allo 'Allo, where the French locals would speak the English dialog with a French accent, the British would speak "French" by also speaking with French accents, but when they were portrayed as speaking actual English to each other they'd be speaking in British accents. One running joke was an undercover British agent, pretending to be a French policeman, who spoke French poorly, and hence his English dialog (with faux-French accent) would be completely mangled, e.g. he would greet everyone "Good moaning!"

Separately: characters carrying containers that are obviously empty, but aren't supposed to be. Luggage is the most usual example, suitcases or other large bags are quite obviously empty, or inflated with airbags or something, so the characters don't have to put any effort at all into carrying them. Same for packing boxes. Why not put some modest weight in them, so it looks more realistic?

On a smaller scale, even takeaway coffee cups, it's usually obvious by the way the cups are handled that they are literally empty. If having hot coffee around is troublesome, why not just half-fill them with water? (Half to reduce risk of spills.)

 

[greenscreened]

Nobody ever makes a typing error on a computer or typewriter, unless it's part of the drama or comedy.

Police detectives always seem to get yelled at by their captain, who inevitably threatens them with suspension if they don't drop the case.

 

[Clinton McClure]

Of course not. He flees on foot, often prompting cops to send dogs after him. Tough dogs, like German Shepherds, that are well-equipped to "take a bite out of crime."

My absolute favorite part of those shows. I just love how the most hard-core gangsta becomes a little punk bitch when the K9 is sic’d on him.

 

[Clinton McClure]

I used to cringe watching NCIS when Abby and McGee would be trying to beat the virus or shut down some nefarious subplot by both typing on the same keyboard in her lab at the same time.

 

[Clinton McClure]

People in diners, restaurants, cafeterias, etc... who are engaged in seemingly deep conversation and never touch their food.

 

[sidburyjr]

I can't believe that after 57 posts, no one has complained about my favorite. When is the last time you saw a (fist) fight and one or both of the combatants were bleeding? Later, occasionally, someone will have a bandage but no one bleeds during a fight.

 

[TJPC]

My father always said that if punches were thrown as hard as they appear to be by the sound they make, everyone would break their hands.

 

[Thomas Newton]

Villains often make their Evil Lairs very easy to destroy.

For example, an "invulnerable" Death Star capable of blowing up a planet will be completely vulnerable to a single hit on an obscure chute. A Bond villain style lair might have a centrally-located Big Red Button.

In the first Captain America film, the villain didn't even wait for the hero to press the buttons. As soon as he saw the hero, he started pressing them himself, on the assumption that lesser henchmen were over-matched.

There used to be a site that "sold" Evil Villain supplies, including evil lairs. The base price of each lair included an obvious self destruct mechanism. Lairs without this "feature" cost a lot extra.