The Really Dumb Drivers Thread (Rant)

Ryan Wright

Jul 30, 2000
Some cranky old geezer walks past the front of my car and slams his fist down on my hood
Now THAT is bullshit. I would have gotten out and slammed my fist down into his face.
-Ryan ( )
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you do criticize them, you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes.


Senior HTF Member
Jul 24, 2000
She sits there for a minute, then floors it again and jerks her vehicle across traffic (almost hitting another car) into a Wal-Mart parking lot across the street.
Why doesn't it surprise me that she heads for Wal-Mart?

Here's another rant:
What is up with blocking interesctions when traffic is backed up? If traffic is backed up in the direction I'm going, and there's an intersection, I stop so that cars from the other direction can make their left turn. A lot of times, my stopping is useless since the people in the lanes next to me seem completely oblivious to the fact that there's an intersection (or parking lot entrance) right next to them. They just HAVE to be right up the ass of the car in front of them, so nobody can turn left from oncoming traffic. Sometimes they even see this as an opportunity to get in front of me, so they pass me and then stop in front of me, thus blocking the whole intersection, which is what I was trying to avoid in the first place...
Gah, it drives me nuts...

Craig Chatterton

Stunt Coordinator
Apr 18, 1999
There's a pair of roads near downtown Portland called Martin Luther King Blvd and Grand Blvd. Grand is a one way going North and Martin Luther King is a one way going south. However, any east/west roads connecting the two are TWO way. So I'm driving on one of these east/west roads heading to MLK so I can turn left and go home. I pull up next to this Blazer waiting for a light and he's going the same way as me, but on the WRONG side of the road. Fortunately it was a nice day and his window was down. I leaned over and said "Do you guys know you're on the wrong side of the street? Take a look across the intersection." He did and noticed cars across the light in his lane facing him. His passenger started laughing. Fortunately they were turning left too so the other cars let him go first.
Virgo: All Virgo's are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you. Expect a big surprise today, when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick.


Supporting Actor
Aug 13, 2001
My Dad has very bad road rage and he likes to past handicapped people (Whom is calls "Handys")...
If not for Providence, I'd be dead by now.
My Dad always wants to fight, even cussing people out!
He's got a VERY bad temper, I'm moving out soon (yes!) so, I won't have to put up with it..
Grandma made him take the fish off the back of his car...
"Um, ER, uh, No, it's not a bedroom HT, I just love it so much, I sleep in it."
"Way to go Dallas!!!"

Moe Maishlish

Supporting Actor
Mar 30, 1999
I have one.
A few months ago I was on my way home from work... it was maybe 9pm and I had worked late to finish a project. On my way home, I figure I`ll head to the grocery store to pick up some food (single guy, lives alone = fridge empty).
So I`m driving along in the right lane of a 4 lane, 2 way road. Traffic is backed up in the left lane because someone is making a left-hand turn into a sidestreet at an intersection with no light.
I`m passing the line of cars, maybe going 30 km per hour, when one of the cars in long line turns from the left lane into the right lane, and broadsides me along my driverside door.
Needless to say, I`m pissed. I pull over to the side of the road, as does the driver who hit me. We both get out of our cars, and I proceed to inspect the damage. I`ve got a sizeable dent across my door, and all the paint is scratched off. She has a scrape across her front passenger-side bumper.
The conversation then proceeds roughly as follows:
Her: Are you ok?
Me: Yeah, I`m ok but my car is not. You?
Her: Yeah. Listen, can we deal with this outside of the insurance company?
Me: I don`t know... there`s a lot of damage to my car.
Her: Well, it`s not 100% my fault you know. I didn`t see you coming....
As you can tell, I spent a good deal of time explaining to her that she didn`t see me coming because she didn`t bother to check that someone was coming (which she was supposed to do). Finally, we agree that she`s going to pay for the repairs.
The rest of the story drags on for a couple of weeks, with me explaining to her that I`m not paying for any part of the repairs or rental car, as the accident was not my fault. In the end, I got my car fixed the way I wanted it to be fixed, not having had to pay a cent for repairs.
Sometimes you just gotta wonder...


Lead Actor
Aug 20, 2000
---Her: Well, it`s not 100% my fault you know. I didn`t see you coming.... ----
Too funny. She must have had the same book of excuses as the guy who said....."in order to save the village we had to bomb it".


Senior HTF Member
Apr 29, 2000
I've been flipped off by people who ran the left turn red light and were pissed that I had begun to proceed into the intersection on red.
Go read my earlier post, Buzz - pretty much the same situation, and the guy started to try match speed with us for a mile on the road, eventually pulling up short at the next traffic light waiting for us to side in beside him.
All because we had the audacity to beep & follow the traffic laws.
Nothing In Particular


Senior HTF Member
Jul 24, 2000
Buzz, your description of Albuquerque matches Tucson perfectly... red-light running here is crazy. In fact, Tucson is tragically one of the 3 most dangerous cities for this in all of the US, along with Mesa and Phoenix, two other Arizona cities (source:,1597,214750-412,00.shtml
These are statistics taken from the page I linked to above:
Here's a state-by-state look at deaths attributed to running red lights. State names are at left; number of deaths between 1992 and 1998 is at center; death rate per 100,000 people is at right. States with the most deaths per capita top the list. Note: Between 1992 and 1998, there were 5,951 deaths nationwide attributed to running of red lights. The per capita rate nationwide was 2.3 deaths per 100,000 people.
Ariz. ... 305 ... 7.1
Nev. ... 59 ... 3.9
Mich. ... 355 ... 3.7
Texas ... 663 ... 3.5
Ala. ... 143 ... 3.4
N.M. ... 56 ... 3.4
Fla. ... 434 ... 3.1
Calif. ... 956 ... 3.0
Del. ... 21 ... 2.9
Ind. ... 157 ... 2.7
Ga. ... 195 ... 2.7
Colo. ... 100 ... 2.7
Alaska ... 16 ... 2.7
S.C. ... 98 ... 2.6
Md. ... 127 ... 2.5
Tenn. ... 130 ... 2.5
Neb. ... 37 ... 2.3
Ky. ... 83 ... 2.2
La. ... 93 ... 2.2
N.C. ... 147 ... 2.0
N.J. ... 153 ... 1.9
Ill. ... 219 ... 1.8
Pa. ... 218 ... 1.8
Mo. ... 95 ... 1.8
Minn. ... 78 ... 1.7
Conn. ... 52 ... 1.6
Utah ... 31 ... 1.6
N.Y. ... 253 ... 1.4
Ohio ... 155 ... 1.4
Iowa ... 37 ... 1.3
Wis. ... 66 ... 1.3
Ore. ... 40 ... 1.3
W.Va. ... 21 ... 1.2
Wash. ... 62 ... 1.1
Okla. ... 37 ... 1.1
Kan. ... 28 ... 1.1
Miss. ... 28 ... 1.0
Va. ... 64 ... 1.0
Idaho ... 10 ... 0.9
Mass. ... 49 ... 0.8
Hawaii ... 9 ... 0.8
Maine ... 9 ... 0.7
Ark. ... 17 ... 0.7
S.D. ... 4 ... 0.6
Wyo. ... 2 ... 0.4
Vt. ... 2 ... 0.3
N.H. ... 3 ... 0.3
Mont. ... 2 ... 0.2
R.I. ... 2 ... 0.2
N.D. ... 0 ... 0.0
Source: Associated Press
[Edited last by MickeS on October 25, 2001 at 01:02 PM]

Shayne Lebrun

Jun 17, 1999
Here in Toronto. They've stopped honking the microsecond the light turns green. They honk when the opposing traffic light turns yellow.
One day I was stopped at a light, and a car, with Alberta plates, this being Ontario, simply drove through, at 60 kph, perfectly casually. Really freaked me out; it's the THOUGHTLESSNESS of it all.

Andrea W

Supporting Actor
Mar 19, 2001
Real Name
Andrea Whitlock
A friend of mine has a paint ball theory. Everybody carries a paint ball gun. Whenever you see a driver doing something stupid, you shoot their car with your paint ball gun. Once you get 10 dots on your car, they take your license away...

Micah Cohen

Jun 8, 2000
IEY! That's GREAT!
And that's the reason I do not own a handgun.
[email protected]
"When your head says one thing and your whole life says another,
your head always loses." (Key Largo)

Shawn Shultzaberger

Supporting Actor
Dec 2, 2000
This is medicine for the mind!

Rant time:
Last week I was heading home from work at midnight (usual time). I was on a 3 lane highway cruising along in the middle lane doing about 5 over. This super huge Dodge Ram 4x4 passes me in the fast lane doing well over the speed limit. He the gets over into my lane and slows down tailgating a small econobox. The fast and slow lanes were wide open! I see that I am catching up to him so I get over in the slow lane because 1) I am catching up to him and 2) there were cars coming up on me rather fast. I am now right next to him and he decides that he needs to get off the highway in a hurry and forces me off the road and damn near into a concrete barrier. I hit the brakes and then decided I was going to follow him. In the 5 sec's that I did follow I saw clearly a large hand and middle finger sticking out of his window. And within that 5 sec's I decided that I didn't feel like dying so I pulled back out onto the highway and continued home fuming the whole time.
Revenge is sometimes sweet:
On my way home I have to pass through a construction zone and it's 55mph. Most people will do 75mph + through it but I like to stay about 4 or 5 over. One side is concrete barriers and the other is those large orange barrels.
Anyway, I am cruising along behind this train of cars and we all are doing about 60mph or so. I'm half way through the zone and this Cadillac STS comes up behind me so fast that I thought for sure he was going to hit me! He proceeded to stay inches behind me and gesturing for me to move out of his way. I saw no lights and no uniform. Plus, I had about 5 or 6 cars in front of me. My car is lowered just a bit and I knew he could see over my car. The whole time he is fuming. Once we are near the end of the Construction Zone I tap my brakes. Not hard, just enough to light them up. I saw the front end of his car dive and swerve. When he raced passed me I got the finger (and for good reason) and noticed that he was also in the midst of cleaning up something that had spilled during his braking maneuver. I just laughed as he passed.
And finally:
I was stationed on Okinawa Japan and bought my first car after being there for a little over a month. It was a Toyota Vista 4dr hatchback. Picked the car up from the guys girlfriend and proceeded to turn out onto the road into oncoming traffic. Luckily there were no cars coming. They were all at a red light getting ready to go. My first thought was "OH CRAP!!". There was a concrete median between the 4 lanes and thank GOD! there was a small area where pedestrians crossed through. I shot through it just as their light turned green. NOT one of my finest moments!
Dear Tick: What would you do if bees took over the world?
Egad, Hogarth! When the bees implement their worldwide Fascist regime, I will be the first to go down into the honey mines. I will be the first to carry their squirming larvae in my teeth, to smear royal jelly on their chosen queen. And why? Good heavens! On account of the stinging!
[Edited last by Shawn Shultzaberger on October 27, 2001 at 12:47 AM]


Supporting Actor
Dec 11, 1999
Real Name
Justin J. Rebbert
I am now right next to him and he decides that he needs to get off the highway in a hurry and forces me off the road and damn near into a concrete barrier.
If I am driving by myself, I do not give way to people who think they can use their vehicles to push me around. It hasn't happened yet, but I am willing to let them hit me. Especially in this see, I have some pre-existing minor damage to the front-left corner of my car (it was there when I bought it), so I'm just waiting for someone else to hit that area so it will get fixed on their insurance bill.

I don't drive like an asshole, except to other assholes. I'll let someone get in front of me if they use their blinker. But if I see someone darting in and out of traffic and then they want to get in front of me, well I speed up.
-Justin "JJR512" Rebbert

Join the [email protected] Team and help cure what ails you. (Click here for more info.)
Contact me: [email protected] | ICQ: 52675695 | Private Message


Second Unit
Jan 28, 2001
The older I get the more I begin to realize how many extremely stupid people there is in this world. Reading through these rants just confirms it for me.
That woman who said it wasn't 100% her fault because she didn't look, shouldn't even be allowed on the roads.
And Edwin, no I have never done anything on the roads that has embarrased me.
Actually thats a lie one time I was following behind, nah never mind

Tim Hoover

May 27, 2001
In reference to the dreaded intersection-blocking situation, I refuse to do this. Last Christmas at our local mall, I was first in line at a red light. The light turned green, but the lanes were full past the intersection. Rather than block traffic, I sat at the green light waiting for a space. Well, this guy behind me starts honking like crazy. I look in the mirror and he's just screaming at me. So I put the car in park, get out, walk up and tap on his window, and ummm...I'd like to say that I calmly explained the situation, but I was pretty pissed. He wouldn't even turn his head to look at me - just kept it straight ahead like he was in a neck brace!
Also, one time I was attempting to turn left on a green arrow, but someone was blocking the intersection! So I pulled up about a foot from their window, rolled my window down, tapped on their window, and hung half my body out the car in a dazzling display of pointed body language. My friend in the passenger seat laughed his ass off the whole time

I also don't like tailgating. I used to just slam on my brakes when that happened. I've chilled out a bit these days. Now I just fire up my good old 5.0 Mustang and leave 'em in the dust. That happened a week ago: this woman in a four-cylinder Honda was riding my tail when I was going 5 mph over. So, accelerator to floor, and she's gone. She tried to keep up, really! I still think the brake-slamming move works best on teenagers, though. When you speed up, they just want to race. I love watching inconsiderate teen drivers eat their dashboards.

Kevin P

Jan 18, 1999
I've seen my share of idiot and asshole drivers (note that they are two different animals--idiot drivers basically do stupid things because they are stupid, assholes are just that and do stupid things on purpose). But last night I had a rare multiple-asshole sighting.
It started out shortly before I came to a light where I was turning right--a car behind me pulled into the left turn lane to pass me. Ok, an idiot, and one who's in a bit of a hurry at that. He turns at the light, and so do I, at which point he meets up with his asshole friends (it must have been teenagers in 3 or so cars). They blow ahead at at least 50-60 mph, on a 30 mph street. I'm telling my wife, "where's a cop when you need them?" and "they're just going to get stuck at the next light". Which brings us to the next light. I was behind one of them, and the other ones were in the adjacent lane. This time, when the light turned green, they all went about 15 mph for the next quarter mile or so. At that point, I knew it was a bunch of assholes. After a quarter mile or so, they all floored it and blew through the next light. If I had been a cop, I would have had a field day with these kids!
[Edited last by Kevin P on October 28, 2001 at 01:36 PM]

Dan Whalen

Stunt Coordinator
Sep 15, 2001
I've had too many encounters with stupid drivers to list, but here's one that just happened a few weeks ago. I was driving to work and I got to this section of highway that was straight. There was this car in front of me going like 55 in a 65. So I put on my turn signal and pass him. Next thing I know, he's putting his hand out the window flipping me off. I got around him and looked in my mirror, and he was turning left onto a gravel road. Idiot didn't even use his turn signal and he's flipping me off for passing him b/c he needs to turn that way.
One other. A few weeks ago my wife and I were about 30 yards behind a car that t-boned into a truck and camper, b/c the truck did a u-turn and didn't see the car. This was on a section of highway where a 2 lane turned into a 4 lane. Anyway, we were stopped, helping out, and of course there is always the ever present "snoopy people" that just want to stop and see what is going on. So, there are all kinds of cars on the side of the road. I was directing traffic b/c there was only one usable lane for northbound traffic. All of a sudden I hear an airhorn and look up. This semi truck almost rearended a car b/c either the car was going too slow, or the semi was going too fast. There was also this crazy old lady (she lives in the same town as me and she is a nut) that damn near stopped in the middle of the highway so she could look at what was going on. Then, as we are leaving, this old guy (I also know who he is, and he is a moron) walks up to a couple of older guys that are also there and just starts talking to them like it is the local coffee shop. I swear, I'm supprised that there wasn't another accident with all the "unneeded" people that were there. Idiots.

Tom Meyer

Second Unit
Feb 11, 1999
I get honked at all the time for refusing to block intersections. here in Chicago there are a lot of 6-cornered intersections (where a N-S & E-W street is intersected by a NW-SE street). These are typically pretty hairy intersections if there's a lot of traffic but there's invariably some moron sitting there blocking BOTH lanes of traffic because he got stuck in the middle of the intersection.
There's another intersection right near my house (Damen/North/Milwaukee for all you Chicagoans) that has big, red, neon NO LEFT TURN signs off of Milwaukee avenue. There are always morons who block traffic because THEY think the traffic laws don't apply to them and others should accept that they are dangerously blocking traffic. At this same intersection, there are signs on the two cross streets that say there's no left turn during rush hours (7-9am, 4-6pm) yet there are dozens of drivers each day who are obviously illiterate. I've seen people in the left turn lane sitting there as a cop rolls up behind them, beeps it sirens, warning them not to turn, yet they still make the left turn !! I sit there an laugh as they are written a ticket.
The other thing that drives me nuts is when I pull up behind someone in the left lane at an intersection, intending to go straight. No blinker, they go straight, right ? Wrong. I'd say about 50% of the time, the dolt turns on his blinker as soon as the light turns green, leaving me and several other people very pissed off.
Don't even get my started about double parkers.
To me, most traffic morons are simply selfish -- I can turn left here illegally, I don't have to use my blinker, I don't have to feed the meter, I can double park.
[Edited last by Tom Meyer on October 28, 2001 at 10:59 PM]

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