My comedy Contest Results (1 Viewer)

[Mark Sherman]

Well the results are in. I came in 4th Out of 12. My friends thought I was robbed. We were given 8 minutes and if we went over we were deducted points. Well I went 12 SECONDS over and was deducted 4 points plus they said I dropped the F bomb to many Times. I guess 4 Times is toooooooo many.


They said My Stage performance and crowd reaction was really strong but my "WRITING" was weak because of my F Bombs. There were 4 other comics who talked about being IRISH and what its like going to the beach and how Burned they get. I guess thats Comic GOLD because one of them placed 3rd.

Because of the Fbombs and my time I lost about 6 points which would have got me 2nd place or about 24 points.


WTF.

On the Good side I got Hired to do a room in Plymouth next Month. He said He would give me $100.00 cash for a 10 minute set.

 

[Garrett Lundy]

There are standardized tests for this?!?!

 

[Mark Sherman]

 

[Ted Lee]

well c'mon mark. let's hear one of your jokes!

f-bombs optional but appreciated....

 

[Mark Sherman]

OK I live In NE ( no not the knights that say ) AND I am a Huge Patriots fan so here we go.


Now the short name we give the Patriots is the Pats. The 49ers we call em the 9ers, the Buccaneers we call the Bucs. What do we call the TITANS......



Why don't we call em the TITS? Now what If the TITS were playing the Jacksonville Jaguars?


Now you have the JAG-"OFF"ence against the TITS Defence, and as one knows the best way through a TITS defence is Up the Middle.

( in a sports announcers Voice ) While running across the stage.

And the TITS take the Field........Hey the TITS are LOOKING Good today Bob,, Thats right They do TED The TITS are Fresh out of Training (camp)

Lets see if the QB knows how to do a Button Hook Play out there, Cause they want to get DEEP into TITS Territory.........Lets hope they ( the TITS) don't Use The RED ZONE defence.


Alright the QB is calling the play lets take a listen......


( IN QB Voice )

.
34D!!!!!!............34C!!!!!!..................A! !!!........A!!!!...........HIKE!!!!!!!


Announcers Voice.


The QB Takes a QUICK SNAP and FIRES ONE up the middle..........


OHHHHH..... There's a FLAG on the play........ He Might be penalized for this one lets hear the call.


HOLDING..( GRAB ).........ILLEGAL USE OF HANDS ( GRAB ) ...........

REPEAT FIRST DOWN.


Its weird seeing that written out.



Hope you like it

 

[Ted Lee]

lol...good one. and original (at least i haven't heard that ... or any variation).

 

[Mark Sherman]

Thanks Ted. Damn I wish you were one of the Judges

 

[Citizen87645]

Much preferable to the Irish tanning issues. The only person I can stand to hear that from repeatedly is Conan O'Brien.

So were the judges like...80 years old?

"In my day we didn't need to say the f-word!"

 

[Mark Sherman]

It want like I was saying F this and F that. It was part of the joke.



Here was one of the other Jokes I said.


I love Living In Boston. We have the Worst Drivers in the country and we also have the worst accent. No matter where I Go in the country people always ask me if Im From Boston.


I was IN ( INSERT NAME OF CITY)a few years ago and I guy asked me If I PAHK MY CAH IN THE HAHVAHD YAHD.

I said YEAH......WHY? DO YOU FUCK YOUR SISTER IN THE TOOLSHED?!!!!!






Christ I think so they all suck.

 

[Ted Lee]

no offense mark, but it sounds like you're taking this pretty hard. i think you're gonna have to be more thick-skinned then this if you wanna survive.

or, you could be like larry david and just walk off the stage if things aren't going well.

 

[Richard Travale]

or just come back with the old "you're a..."

Judge: I have to say you're a bit lude...

Mark: You're a lude!

 

[Ted Lee]

or even better richard...

Judge: I have to say you're a bit lude...

Mark: I got your lude ... right here!

 

[Mark Sherman]

None taken Ted. I was Just Joking on that one. I was a little bitter for the 4 points for 12 seconds over.


NAH Im taking this all with a grain of salt. If anything this was a learning experience. I learned what to do and what not to do and what jokes worked and what didnt. Tommy the guy who runs the show loves the energy Level that I bring to the stage no matter what the room is or who went on before me. He also told me that I would have got I higher grade if he was doing the Judging.


I have already have BURIED a couple Jokes that will never see the light of day ever again.


And I wrote some new Jokes to be added to some of the stuff I already do.




Later

 

[Ted Lee]

right on mark! good luck with your future acts ... and remember the little folk when you make it big!

 

[Mark Sherman]

Thanks Ted. Ill try but if more guys are doing SUNBURNED IRISHMAN Jokes I'll just have to close up shop.


Here is other One of mine. I do not do this on stage as of yet but Im working on it.





If a QB's Wife is Pregnant and she is in her first Trimester........

Would she considered THIRD AND LONG?

 

[Mark Sherman]

One for I entered and one ofr the results

 

[Scott McGillivray]

Guh? My brain hurt trying to understand that.

 

[Mark Sherman]

Ok lets try this in English. Sorry about that last attempt.


I had one thread telling everyone I was doing it. Well No one replied. so I did one telling of the results.


Easy peasy.

 

[Richard Travale]

:frowning:


I replied...sigh

 

[Eric_L]

Ode to Tipper Gore

I would like to dedicate this song to the judges in your contest... and girls with big tits.