Idiotic warnings on products - wait 'til you see these (1 Viewer)

[andrew markworthy]

My elderly parents are rather frail and sensibly have decided to buy a couple of invalid scooters (don't know if you use the same phrase in the USA - you know what I mean, those battery-powered things the elderly and infirm ride around on in shopping malls). That's fine - what is jaw-dropping is the set of safety warnings that come with them. These include (and I swear these are not made up):

(1) Do not drive on a motorway [i.e. freeway] - the top speed of one of these machines is 4 m.p.h.

(2) Do not attempt to drive into a carwash.

And my personal favourite:

(3) Do not attempt to tow a car - or truck.

Okay, these may sound like the products of an over-cautious instruction manual writer covering all the bases. BUT: these warnings are in the section based on feedback from incidents involving the scooters ...

 

[ThomasC]

I would love to read the story of why this warning is seen at gas stations:

Do not siphon gas by mouth.

 

[Alon Goldberg]

I propose that all consumer products sold in the United States have the safety warning "Not for use". This should eliminate tens of thousands of frivolous litegations that occur every year.

 

[Holadem]

The "make sure you are healthy enough to have sex" warning during the Viagra TV spots always cracks me up.

I have seen this done on more than one occasion in developping countries. A hose was used to transfer some gas from one car to another. Symphoning by mouth is the only way to get the process going...

Gee here is a How To: http://www.answers.com/topic/how-do-...of-any-vehicle. It appears the practice isn't limited to the Third World after all......

--
H

 

[Jeff Gatie]

I've siphoned gas by mouth dozens of time. After doing it once or twice, the hacking and coughing is something you never want to repeat and you soon develop a quick reflex to switch the hose from mouth to container.

Jeez, didn't any of you guys make Molotov Cocktails when you were kids?

 

[Michelle Schmid]

See, to me, this is just crazy. Of course you wouldn't take this thing on a freeway! And yet, about a month ago I saw an elderly person doing just that. One of the highways that sort of "bypasses" our little city has a posted 55 mph speed limit, and this person was on her scooter driving down the center of it to get into the turn lane to come back into the city. It was a weekday around lunch time, so not rush hour or anything, but still!

 

[David Von Pein]

But not nearly as much as that warning about seeking medical help if your...{clears throat}...erection lasts "more than four hours"!!

I wonder what Superman Casanova prompted that little disclaimer?

 

[RobertR]

Actually, priapism is a medical condition that can be triggered by such medications. It's not a "natural" condition.

 

[drobbins]

Here is a funny link http://www.dumb.com/productwarnings.htm

Some of my favorites:
Mattress
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow
Chainsaw
Do not attempt to stop chain with hands.
Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
Disposable razor:
Do not use this product during an earthquake.

 

[Scott Merryfield]

Happy Fun Ball.

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball!

 

[Joseph DeMartino]

Yeah, "If you have an erection lasting more than four hours, call a doctor..."

If I ever have an erection that lasts more than four hours, I'm calling the Guiness Book of World Records and all of my ex-girlfriends. Then maybe I'll call the doctor.

Regards,

Joe

 

[RichP]

You must be a riot at parties.

 

[Paul Padilla]

I've heard many times that priapism can not only be painful but can cause serious problems if not treated...medically, that is.

Back to the topic.

Part of Jeff Foxworthy's act:

When you are in the hospital to give birth the nurses tell you, "After your water breaks do not have sex." They wouldn't tell you that unless someone had tried it. "Hey there sweet cheeks...seems a shame to waste this semi-private room."

 

[JeremyErwin]

Dr Ruth's Pregnancy Guide for couples

Most of these warning labels come about because the victim was distracted at the time.

 

[Rob Gardiner]

Seen on a bag of airline peanuts:

Warning: contains peanuts

 

[JeremyErwin]

daytime drowsiness is a common side effect of sleep aids. Anyway, there's a qualitative difference between drug induced drowsiness and going to sleep naturally.

 

[Hugh Jackes]

On an electric Razor scooter:

Warning: This product moves.

 

[JeremyErwin]

True story. In college, some colleagues of mine had acquired a great many fireworks. For some reason, one of them wanted more light to inspect their inventory.

So, imagine this: You're a smoker. You carry a lighter. You've gotten into the habit of flicking on a flame, whenever you need a momentary flash of light...

 

[KevinGress]

I remember a long while ago reading that Jan-Michael Vincent (Airwolf) had this problem and had to go to the hospital due to the pain.....

 

[JeremyErwin]

Hmm-- one would assume that an individual with true ED would be familiar with the phrase "Intracavernosal injection".