Okay, after yet another sub-par night of bowling, I've come to the conclusion that I either completely suck with no hope of improving (more than likely) or there is room for improvement, however unlikely. With the latter in mind, I sat down and made out a list of ways I could improve my game: 1. 'Tonya Harding' the opposition. Could work, but I hate the sound of crunching bone - gives me the willies. 2. Hack into the bowling alley computer system and change my scores. Could work, but what do I do once I turn my computer on? 3. Lob sticks of dynamite down the lane. I think about doing this all the time. Unfortunately, it's a bit on the destructive side. 4. Bribe the opposition. No way. Need money for DVDs. Truffaut box set trumps bragging rights to silly game of little consequence. 5. Create athletically-inclined clone to bowl for me. Tempting, but then everyone would like him better than me and he would take over my life. Scary! 6. Prayer. How do you think I got my average up to 140? Besides, I need to start praying for important things like getting a girlfriend. [God starts laughing.] 7. Use 100-pound ball with four foot diameter. Do I look like freakin' Hercules? Forget it. 8. Watch Kingpin and The Big Lebowski before I go bowling. This one smells like a winner! Well?