BAD ideas for sequels. (1 Viewer)

A while back, in a discussion of the validity of the Boogie Nights 2 rumor, lists of bad ideas for sequals started emerging. I thought I'd present a few that cracked me up, and a few that I thought of, that IMO weren't too shabby either!
- Unpleasantville (the kids get sucked into 'Married With Children')
- The Mummy Returns Again and is told to go home.
- Re-Bound
- Found Highway (basically just explains what the frist one was all about)
- Low Fidelity Cusack becomes a Basshead!!!!
- Buffalo '69: Billy's Back
(mine)
- Legally Blonde 2: Dye Harder
Ken McAlinden
- The Nightmare Before Easter
- Further Out of Sight
- American Pie 3: Pie Harder
Aaron Reynolds
- Glitter 2: Electric Boogaloo
Eric Thrall
- Lawrence of England: The Early Years
Jonathan Perregaux
So. Any wannabe producers out there ready to put up some cash?
(edit: shit. can a mod please change the of in the thread title to a for. how embarrassing. :b)

You've Got Spam Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan both come to a horrible end when they ignore a chain letter.
The Time Machine: Redux They go back to reshoot the entire movie only to find that they can't change the destiny of this movie. It bombs, again.
Blade III: The Ginzu Knife Vampires are extinct so Wesley Snipes starts a cooking show.
Chocolate Sky Tom Cruise is not only disfigured, but he has a weight problem.
WilderThings Just more of the first. Oh yeah.

Son of Braveheart
Apollo 14
Raging Bull II
Terminator 3 oops! nevermind

Eight They invent a brand new sin, and Kevin Spacey comes back from the dead.
The Unusual Suspects Inanimate objects, household appliances, and a couple corpses are implicated in a complicated tale of identity.
Little Trouble in Little China Kurt Russel just stands around for an hour and absolutely nothing happens. It still does better than 3000 Miles To Graceland
Hug of the Dragon Jet Li goes through sensitivity training and becomes a kinder, gentler killing machine.
American Ugly Annette Bening's character comes back and comes to grips with her husband's death and an accident at the plastic surgeon's.
Walk Lola Walk Lola is in absolutely no rush to get where she's going, and they show her taking an hour to walk anywhere three separate times. A throbbing classical music soundtrack with lots of bass accompanies.
Terminator 3 They make a third Terminator movie .

Battlefield Earth 2: The end......of Travolta's career.

Return to Ishtar
Charles Grodin (who needs the money) stars in this adventure/comedy in which a stale wedding gig in Missouri sets him on the trail of a troupe of circus clowns involved in an international wrist-rocket smuggling ring. A photo of Dustin Hoffman is seen briefly in the background.
Ben-Hur II: Deeper Dungeons
Judah Ben-Hur strikes back against an up-and-coming wave of Jehovah's Witnesses wearing suits in this powerful sequel set some 70 years after the original. Featuring an all-star cast led by Tommy Lee Jones and starring Ice-T as his trusty sidekick "Daium."
Earthquake III Arena
California's biggest earthquake in history strikes during the half-time show of the Super Bowl, but the real tragedy is a fatal fumble by the L.A. Rams that could end their championship winning steak.
Stop! Or My Dad Will Shoot, Too
Frank Stallone takes over as a tough cop who's life is turned upside-down by his meddling father, who just can't seem to stop breaking wind in public and saying, "Was that a duck? Did you step on a duck?"
Speed 3: Going Ballistic
Someone who looks an awful lot like Sandra Bullock but isn't is strapped to a guided missile that can't be stopped... and it's aimed straight at the Eiffel Tower!
JAG
Directed by Oliver Stone and starring Jason Alexander as The President, this gripping drama follows the layers of conspiracy that led to the assassination of James A. Garfield in 1881 by an embittered attorney... or was it the train conductor? We may never know! Featuring a cameo appearance by Dick Van Dyke as the famous Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the telephone, who tries unsuccessfully to find the bullet with an induction-balance electrical device of his own design... or is it? Everyone is suspect! Even you!

An American Werewolf in Nigeria

Freddy Got Rimjobbed

Blow 2: Look Who's Blowing Now

The Postman 2: Return to Sender

Jason 11 - Jason decides to counsel young, disturbed, and unhapp children.
Nightmare On Elm Street: Freddy's Back - Kreuger enters a rehab program for recovering serial killers.
Battlefield Earth 2 - This one needs no explanation.

Hearts Of Revisionism: A Filmmaker's Undecisiveness
Nuff said.
Girls Don't Cry
The story of Michael Jackson's desire to look more and more like his sisters and the hardships he must endure along the way.
Harry And Tam Henderson
After the Hendersons from the first film are scammed out of their life savings from someone named Tam Henderson (not related), they go to the woods to employ the help of our favorite "Bigfoot". Bent on avenging his adopted family, Harry tracks down Tam and confronts him with predictable results.

Close Encounters of the Third Reich

Batman & Robin & Batgirl - Nightwing joins the Bat ranks. Bruce Wayne/Batman is played by Drew Carey this round.
Chased Amy - When Silent Bob finally tracks down Amy, were gonna experience some nasty, fatass, blunt-smoking nookie.
Citizen Kane II: Citizen Caned - After delivering his lackluster report to his boss, the Newsreel Reporter gets brutally beaten with a cane. And it's all captured on film.
Godfather, Part IV - The hip, black rapper (played by a composite of Jay Z and Coolio) joins the family business, to hilarious results.
Sound of the Lambs - This time, it's musical. (featuring the Grammy-award winning duet by Jodie Foster and Anthony Hopkins.)
Apocalypse Then - A prequel starring Matt Damon as Private Walter E. Kurtz.
The Wizards of Oz - Dorothy ain't in Kansas no more... stuck in a terrible prison,
Sling Blade II: Bloodhunt - Karl Childers is back... and this time, he's taking hostages. (think of a poster with a lawnmower blade dripping with blood, like a horror poster.)
All the President's Women - Think a Paula Jones/Monica Lewinsky porn flick
My Crude Lady - Eliza returns to her roots to solve a suspenseful murder mystery.

The Germinator - Skynet goes haywire and sends back an unstoppable gardening machine.
Strollerball - The new conceptualization entertains the future world with toddlers in high speed action
Rear Window 2 : the Seduction - Jimmy Stewart pursues Mrs. Torso to the depths of his twisted mind

Gosford Park Place - Maggie Smith leads an all British cast swapping society gossip and snobbish insults over a spirited game of Monopoly. Chubby little Judi Dench cameos as the game's mascot, Mr. Moneybags, who is found murdered after Helen Mirren is forced into bankruptcy after repeatedly landing on Boardwalk, owned by hopelessly crass American hotel queen, Leona Helmsley.

Bite Club Tyler Durden begins a new, no-gums barred underground club featuring Mike Tyson. Tagline: "White meat! Mmmmm . . . Yummy!"

Shadow Of The Umpire - A dramatization of the making of Field Of Dreams,.
The Shining II - Jack Torrence comes back in the guise of a shoe shine boy at a train station.
It's a Craptacular Life - Clarence comes back to tell George Bailey he was just pulling his chain.
Dead Men Don't Wear Polyester - Steve Martin as Rigby Reardon must solve a new murder mystery at Studio 54. Watch for footage from Saturday Night Fever, Roller Boogie, Thank God It's Friday and Can't Stop The Music. (spoiler - the murderer is: The Cleaning Woman!!)

More famous auteurs create exact copies of the remaining Psycho sequels for some damn reason.
Omen 666 : the son of a famous Head of the CIA wins the presidency and declares war on the world! Oh hell...we are living that... [/politics]
Town and Country II: The Quickening : Er...um...
Wild Palms 2 : Jim Belushi returns in this Oliver Stone produced sequel about an evil conspiracy of hand held devices gone mad! Mad, I tells ya!
Phil

Oh, and Oliver Twist and Shout where all the music in the film is dubbed over with Beatle's music.
Phil