BAD ideas for sequels. (1 Viewer)

[Dana Fillhart]

(Oh, it's a sequel all right...)

 

[Paul Bond]

How about Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid: Aftermath
Picks up where the original left off. After the Brasilian Army finishes off Butch and Sundance, Katherine Ross goes back home and cries a lot.

 

[Raphael]

King Lear Must Die A martial-arts chop-socky fest starring Jet Li. Jet Li, kung fu practitioner extraordinaire and chilling in down-'n-dirty Oakland, decides to leave his estate to the daughter who says he loves him most, resulting in much wire-fu. As in the first movie, all the good guys live in the end. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, William.

 

[MatthewA]

Marshall Mathers III (aka Eminem) as Rain

and Pat Buchanan as Scott Weinberg!

 

[MichaelPe]

The Shawshank Redemption 2 - It turns out that Andy had become institutionalized, so he decides to return to Shawshank Prison because he can't handle life in the outside world.
GoodFellas 2 - Joe Pesci & Robert DeNiro return in the Scorsese sequel which takes place in Las Vegas. Robert DeNiro owns a casino... oh nevermind!
The Truman Show 2 - The Christof Show - Christof learns that his whole life was actually a movie and Peter Weir was his creator.
Memento 2 - It's actually the same movie, but shown upside down to confuse the audience even more.
Magnolia 8:2 - Adam Sandler plays the leading role in the story of Quiz Kid Donnie Smith's childhood.
Fight Club 2 - Jack finds out that Marla is really just a guy with bitch tits who had his testicles removed.

 

[Todd H]

Arbor Day: ID42

 

[Matthew Chmiel]

and Pat Buchanan as Scott Weinberg!

No, no, no. That's just wrong. We all know that Jay Underwood will be playing Scott Weinberg.
Ten - The sequel to Se7en, this time John Doe (Kevin Spacey) returns from the dead and starts killing people who don't follow the ten commandments. Special cameo appearance by Charlie Heston as Moses.
Dirty Dancing 2 - Baby becomes a stripper as Johnny cant financially support her.
Overnight Delivery II: The Revenge - After all the mayhem caused to him by Trips and Ivy in the first one, Hal Ipswich sends a mailbomb to them overnight delivery, but after he finds out he sent it to the wrong address, he has 24 hours to get his package back.

 

[Jack Briggs]

I haven't looked at this thread in days. Man, you guys are coming up with some funny stuff!

 

[Paul_D]

Heres a couple of new ones:
Blade 3 Harry Knowles is brought on board as writer/editor/boom operator/director's ass kisser. His review of the film contains instructions for more than 4 illegal sexual practises. (check out his review of Blade 2 if you don't understand this.)
sex, lies and DVD A distubed, old friend enters the lives of three dysfunctional friends, and attempts to tackle the tricky task of mastering filmed sessions of the group descibing their innermost sexual desires and feelings onto DVD-R. Among the various emotional minefields navigated in the film are: the tension of selecting the apporpriate levels of compression, and the misery of finding out the DVD is plagued by edge-enhancement.
The Net 2: The Rise and Fall of Napster Angela Bennett is back on the run when music copyright violators download MP3 files from her firewalled computer. No one questions who shes running from.
Miller's Double Crossing Gabriel Byrne returns in this story of competing mob bosses in depression era New York. You are guarranteed not to follow every double cross in this movie.
Delicatessen 2: Try the Salami!
Rushmore 2 Max Fischer gets 10-15 years for grevious-bodily-harm, carrying a concealed weapon, and conspiracy to blow-up a federal school. This quirky comedy details Max's struggles with the prison administration, in his attempts to abolish compulsory shower time, and put on his version of The Shawshank Redemption (by Max Fischer.)
Manhattan 2 Woody Allen plays a neurotic writer, who can't function outside of New York, enjoys sex with women half his age (yeah right). Features cameos by the following actors: Mia Farrow, Barbara Hershey and Meg Ryan as people he f*@cked once. And Julia Roberts, Catherine Zeta Jones and Sharon Stone as people he'd like to f@ck in the future. Plot: he does stuff in New York.... who cares.
When Harry Met Sally Struthers No explanation required.
Soldier 2: What Do You Mean You Didn't Think It was Possible Poster tag line: who says a studio doesn't learn from their mistakes, or (Dr. Strangelove style) How to Lose a Shit Load of Money.

 

[Shawn C]

Cast Away 2 - Tom Hanks gets tired of all the artist lady's B.S. and decides that he liked living on an island more. He moves to Hawaii and opens a MailBoxes Etc.

 

[Jason Harbaugh]

The Net 2: The Rise and Fall of Napster

LOL
The Slow and the Delirious Vin Deisel and company are back 50 years later for the sequel. Now they have souped up walkers and wheelchairs with oxygen tanks instead of nitrous and they live out a 1/4 mile in real time. Movie is a 3 1/2 hour epic.
Spinal Tap 2 Now all amps go to 12.
I No Longer Care What You Did Last Summer An unrelated sequel staring Pauly Shore trying to get a job on one of those collect call commercials. It has a sad ending.
Mission Impossible III The twist is that the mission really is impossible and everyone dies. Gets nominated for best picture.
Jason and the Aquanauts An epic journey of one man and his swimteam as they go for the gold.

 

[CharlesD]

Hamlet II: Where is Everybody?

 

[Patrick McCart]

I couldn't resist posting this:
Lawrence of Arabia 2: Judgement Day

Basically, Arnold kills about 300 turks and makes wisecracks all the way.

 

[Paul_D]

There's some funny stuff appearing in this thread. I'm glad I started it.

Great stuff. Keep 'em coming.

 

[Aaron Croft]

Requiem For a Wet Dream - Basically continue the story of Jeniffer Connely becoming a prostitute. ASS TO ASS!!!!
Meet the GrandParents - Ben Stiller meets his fiances grandparents who turn out to be Talliban members.. comedy ensues.
Showgirls 2 - Did you see the first one?
Done for now.... love this thread.
-Aaron

 

[Jason Harbaugh]

Lawrence of Arabia 2: Judgement Day

I can just hear Arnold saying:

Ayyyyyee, I got sand in me eyes!!

or

Hurry, My camel is getting tired.

 

[Todd H]

Bridge Over The River Hudson
Indiana Jones and the Search For The Swollen Prostate
Deliverance 2: For The Love of a Purdy Mouth
Star Wars Episode 7 - The Jar Jar Years
Mothman Prophecies 2: When Chapstick Attacks!
SCARY MOVIE 3!!!!!!!

 

[Patrick McCart]

I hate to say this, but there is a Scary Movie 3 coming out this year.

I'm going to be sitting in my bomb shelter, FYI.

 

[Will K]

I Know What You're Going To Do Next Summer - A prequel featuring Miss Cleo in her movie debut
Priscilla, Queen Of The Damned Akasha hits the road with a busload of drag queens.
National Lampoon's Afghanistan Vacation
The Ho-Ling: Howling VIII Trailer park skanks turn into werewolves during a Jerry Springer Show taping.
The Burning 2 In-name-only sequel documents Michael Jackson's harrowing Pepsi commercial.
Blue Velvet 2 Tepid sequel in which Frank opens a fabric shop.
Suspect 2 Gary Condit in his film debut
Creepshow 3 Oh, wait...I was just thinking of celebrity boxing.
Evil Dead Poets Society
Go Fish 2: Break Out The Tartar Sauce well...never mind
The Mirror Has Several Faces starring Anne Heche
Speed 3: Booze Control with Tim Allen and a CGI William Holden

 

[Edwin-S]

Peter Pan 2: Return to Neverland...Join Peter and friends for a magical adventure against that wonderful adventure....WW2 and the London Blit....What?!.....Waddaya mean, it's been done!!.......How about Cinderella 2...Find out what happens after the wedding and Happily ever af....WHAT??!!.....It's been DONE TOO!!!....AHHH, FUCK IT....all the best bad ideas have been done.