*** Official VAN HELSING Discussion Thread (1 Viewer)

[Jason Seaver]

I would have settled for simple competence. Or the kind of fun that doesn't require quotation marks.

It's possible to make a good popcorn movie while demonstrating good craftsmanship. Action scenes can be clear, dialogue can be witty, characters can be well-drawn enough to earn our sympathy and empathy. Van Helsing doesn't do that. The real shame of it is that I know Sommers can do better, and there's occasional glimpses of that in this movie, which makes the crud around those bits all the more frustrating.

:star:¾

My review

 

[Alf S]

I for one really enjoyed it...good old fashioned summer popcorn flick. Sure it wasn't a masterpiece, but sure as hell beats out crappy former summer flix like Men in Black II who force feed you rehashed garbage etc.

B+

Alfer

 

[Darren Haycock]

It was different, I'll give you that, but yeah, very disappointing. I knew I was in trouble when I felt like things should be wrapping up, glanced at my watch (which I rarely do at the movie theater) and realized I was only 45 minutes into it. AAHHHH!!! And this is someone who'd gladly sit through many more hours of LOTR. It started off fairly strong I thought, but there was just so much action and so little characterization that I just got bored out of my skull.

 

[ZacharyTait]

Man, this movie is getting torn to shreds!

I thought it was big, dumb, stupid, silly, and above all fun and entertaining. The cinematography and set design was wonderful. I could see the $150 million in this movie.

I liked how this was an All-Star Monster movie. I liked how they were able to bring together Wolfman, Dracula, Frankenstein, Van Helsing and other characters and make a movie utilizing them.

I had no idea that David Wenham was in this. He was funny as the field man or as me and my friend came up with at the same time: "medieival Q!"

All in all, Hugh Jackman proves he can do action, Kate Beckinsale is gorgeous as usual (this might be her best movie, although that isn't saying much!), and the action set pieces were done well. I especially enjoyed the stagecoach chase.

***/****

 

[Kevin Grey]

Didn't care for it much myself. I say this being a big fan of both Mummy movies.

Van Helsing just utterly failed as a character. He never came off as much of a badass or have any personality at all. In fact pretty much all of the characters failed for me- I thought David Wenham did the best but he had no real material material to work with.

It was too long. In fact it felt longer than it was. The final battle felt like it went on forever.

Note to filmmakers: as soon as you have one CGI character start fighting another I lose interest. Happened in Hellboy and it happened here.

I did enjoy the score, production design, most of the effects, and the opening twenty minutes.

And what the hell is up with Sommers and his refusal to show at least the title of a movie? I always have a hard time settling into a movie until I see at least see the title flash acorss the screen.

 

[Neil S. Bulk]

I'm glad I'm not the only one to notice that during the big fight at the end you never once see Hugh Jackman doing any actual fighting. Maybe that proves that he can't do action.

Neil

 

[Adam Sanchez]

I noticed that too. The first Mummy had a Title shot (a rather cool one actually) but VH and The Mummy Returns don't say thier titles till midway through the end credits.

I will say though his movies do have some very cool end credit sequences. All 3 of his films end credits kind of grab you and make you wanna watch them.

 

[Peter Apruzzese]

It's rotten - a movie aimed at people who have never seen a real movie before, especially a Universal horror movie. Sommers is a joke - four bad movies and this is the worst of the lot. He now officially goes on my "Do Not Ever Watch Another Movie Again" list along with its poster boy, Michael Bay.

 

[Dome Vongvises]

How does Josie Maran look?

 

[Jason Seaver]

:: brain explodes ::

Seriously... Go find Cold Comfort Farm. Now. I understand that the DVD is only available with a parisitic copy of Casual Sex? attached, but it's funny and smart and fun to watch and has Kate looking better than she does in any part of Van Helsing except maybe the ballroom scene.

 

[Craig S]

Well... I don't think it was quite as bad as some of the reviews have been saying.

But it wasn't good either.

Funny, for a movie with almost wall-to-wall action, I found myself ... well, bored for a good stretch of the running time - a result of not having a single character to invest in. The closest to an interesting character was the Friar, but I chalk that up solely to David Wenham, who did his best to make something out of nothing, and almost succeeded.

 

[Citizen87645]

 

[Alf S]

I predict by Monday morning, it'll have rung in about $50-60 million over the weekend.

You all may think it's not up to your higher standards, but I bet the general movie going public will eat it up.

 

[Patrick Sun]

 

[DonRoeber]

I've no doubt that Van Helsing made a ton of cash this weekend, but next weekend? The only people that will be seeing it are those that can't get ticket to Troy.

 

[Jason Seaver]

Duh. We spent our money on it. Opening weekend just tells how good the advertising campaign is; it's the next month that makes a movie as expensive as Van Helsing a hit.

The question is, will it maintain success? Doubtful. It's pretty wretched, and I know I'm telling anyone who asks to stay away (along with several who haven't), and I can't see it getting much repeat business.

 

[Vickie_M]

Ok, you're right, and I apologise, but the hate and scorn that's being piled onto this movie is completely at odds with the fun, silly movie we saw. It smacks of jaded cynicism, even if it isn't. In the end though, it doesn't matter what anyone says, so I'm sorry. I'm glad we had a good time, and came out of the theater smiling, rather than sitting there with steam coming out of our ears. We'll go see it again.

 

[Scott Weinberg]

No problem at all, Vickie. I know you're not at all the sort to be rude towards other people.

I know exactly how you feel, though. Several times a year I end up enjoying something that gets thrashed all over the place. OH WELL! Hell, I really like Sommers' own Deep Rising, an admission that has earned me my fair share of muffled giggles from my friends.

Anyone who knows me also knows that I was really looking forward to Van Helsing. Like, a lot. I had no reason to walk into that movie with my talons sharpened. But it just started out bad and kept getting worse.

You're not me. You saw something you found big and loud and flashy and exciting. Since you're a cool woman, I am glad that you and hubby had a good time. Honest.

Me? I'll never see the damn thing again.

 

[Galen_V]

Alright, I'll be the first person on the internet to admit that this movie made me cry...


...out of sheer laughter. I don't really recall when I started to lose my composure. Maybe it was when Van Helsing did the "Trinity death dream" twist and shot one of the vampire brides. Maybe it was when we first saw the "pods" with the electricity flowing through them and suddenly hundreds of little white pixies coming alive like Sentinels. Maybe it was when the horses and the carriage flew over the bridge (On Prancer! On Dancer! On Comet! On Cupid!). Maybe it was when the brides exclaimed "We must save the creature!" Maybe it was when the oompah-loompas came out and started walking around on fire. Maybe it was when the movie suddenly switched locations to Barad-dur and the friar decided to play ring Frodo with the antidote and the light grenade. Maybe it was when a person swung from some sort of rope/wire/string for the umpeenth time only to be grabbed by a flying vampire. Maybe it was when Anna survived countless assaults on her life by really crazy vampires and werewolves only to die when Hugh Jackman sits on her. Maybe it was when Hugh let out that howl against the moonlight.

Wait a second: I remember now.

It was when Stephen Sommers decided it would be a great idea to show wheat for 5 seconds. I just completely lost it, tears and all, which then sparked a chain reaction amongst my friends and fellow theater-goers, resulting in a total loss of control in the movie theater. I don't think I ever been to a movie where so many people were openly laughing at a "dramatic" funeral scene. I'm still shocked at how something that started so good ended in the travesty that it turned out to be. Blah.

 

[Citizen87645]

I'd pay to see that!