What are people teaching their children!? (1 Viewer)

[MarkHastings]

Joe, while I totally agree with what you said, I have to imagine that a lot of people freak out when they see their children act that way. As 'natural' as it is, most parents are kind of blind to the fact that their kid would ever do (or imagine) something like that.

I'm sure the OP wouldn't have been as freaked out if it were someone else's child, just as I would probably more in shock if it were my child and not someone elses kid.

 

[MickeS]

We ARE nature. Humans change "nature" as we please, because we can.

 

[Chris]

Ridiculous. I challenge you to show me how you can will your penis away. Remarkably, it stays attached.

This argument is defeated daily by the counter argument of condoms in schools, etc. which argues that we, as sexual beings, have an instinctual urge toward the activity that cannot always be controlled, so we are better off making sure that everyone is safe.

The concept of a biological clock and the hormonal production creating a mental stimulus resulting in the need to reproduce can be studied (and has been) in women and is a provable fact.

Humans are part of nature, that is true; but we also must hold to it's rules and as such, Nature through it's genetics has a serious play in our outcome that cannot be "willed" away. No matter how much we want to deny the impact of who we are born as, it doesn't change that it plays a serious role.

I may always want to play golf like Tiger Woods, but my genetic background material means that no matter how hard I practice, the fact that I'm a skinny 5'7" guy with a small lung capacity dictates I won't be driving the ball 400 yards.

Humans cannot "change" nature at all; we can only mold what nature gives us to much more closely match what we want. Even sex change operations, etc. change nature only superficially, they do not alter the base DNA nor the general makeup of the chemistry of a brain.

 

[MarkHastings]

Chris, you gave me a thought with your Hotwheels comment.

Since a lot of people don't like the idea of their kids playing with guns (because it's too violent), I wonder how people feel about toy cars?

Everytime I see a kid play with a car, he/she crashes it into a wall, or into another toy car, or speeds it along and jumps a ramp or something else dangerous.

Yet we never think of this behavior as 'scary'. Ever see a 16 year old drive? They think they are racing the Indy 500. I would bet that a lot of that comes from playing with cars and the glorified car racing images we see on tv that we think is harmless.

I see SO many 16 year olds getting into deadly car accidents because they drive too fast.

So why don't we freak out about toy cars like we freak out about toy guns???

To me, it seems like the same difference. Or is it because, eventually, everyone drives? That makes the case even SCARIER for playing with toy cars.

 

[MickeS]

Agree.

 

[Chris]

See, for the most part, on most things, I think we agree.

 

[MickeS]

Hehe, the thing about cars is interesting. My 2-year-old is constantly crashing his Hot Wheels cars into eachother, and into other objects, yelling "Crash!". He also loves to get on his tricycle and ride it into a wall and yell "Crash!". I really have no clue where he's picked that up, I'm guessing day care... hopefully he'll be over it when he turns 16.

 

[Paul D G]

Apparently I need to clarify AGAIN.

My point in the original post was not that my kid is playing hero, but that he's learned how to load a gun, and to violently beat a man when he's down when he's three and from other kids in his school.

Did you teach your toddlers to do this? Do you say "son, if you're going to shoot the bad guy you need to reload once in a while. here's how..." Do you let your three year old watch movies like Pulp Fiction, or Hostel with you? I don't, but it's clear that some people do and thus the subject of this thread.

Let's take it to an extreme. Let's say you had a crappy day at work and went off on a little rant about your boss to your wife. Then your three year old says "Daddy, why don't you shoot him dead, then kick him, then throw him in the garbage?" How would you react? Would you think it was cute or would you say "Where did you learn about THAT?"

I had also mentioned another kid kicking, slapping, and biting other kids, and apparent racism at the pre school level. But I suppose that's just being a boy too, eh?

-paul

 

[Jeff Gatie]

Kids are sponges. They can pick this stuff up anywhere. You cannot shelter him from every outside influence. The real question is, are you upset because he was exposed to it or are you upset because he retained it; even emulates it? The first you can do nothing about and the second is what this thread is all about: Boys like guns. They like the mechanical action, they like the big bang and they like the power it gives them over their fears, i.e. "monsters". They are little fragile things that cry to their mothers when they get a boo boo, but in their minds they are monster slayers and princess savers and there is nothing wrong with that. Where he picked it up is an unanswerable question, it's like asking where he picked up the dirt on his hands and knees. Trying to shelter him from it is probably just as harmful as obsessing over him getting dirty. As to why he retains it? Well, like we've said he's a normal little boy.

 

[Raasean Asaad]

My 6 year old daughter was so geeked to see Hulk (because daddy was too) that we would go out places and with no warning she would growl at complete strangers and yell "HULK SMASH !!" at them. The grocery store was a great place for it too. She would also tell people, "Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me angry."

I was so proud of her !!

 

[Citizen87645]

Did you get her the Hulk hands? I'm sure she would love them!

 

[Joe Szott]

Did you serve him pea soup?

 

[Joe Szott]

Paul,

You are being crazy about this, no one taught these kids to shoot/reload a gun or kick a monster when it is down. They pick up how to do these things ALL ON THEIR OWN because they are little boys. Your angel is one too. For all you know, he's the one that suggested they kick it when it was down to make sure it was good and dead.

You're being like the ultra-religious folks that deny their kids any knowledge or exposure to sex and then lash out when, yup, one of the kids gets pregnant ALL ON THEIR OWN. You don't need to teach someone to want to have sex, they are going to figure it out one way or the other.

In the same way, little boys fight, do battle, and vie for status in whatever way they see as best. Be it shooting pretend guns or shooting hoops or shooting the breeze they are going to do it. You don't even need to teach them, they do it ALL ON THEIR OWN.

Why does there always have to be someone else to blame? Your son is just like 3 billion others on the planet, just love him for what he is.

 

[Paul D G]

He's three, not tweleve.

See my earlier post in which I comment that, as a horror movie buff, my kid is going to be exposed to this stuff at some stage fairly early on, but, as I also said earlier, when he's able to understand what he's seeing. Maybe I'm wrong but at three years old I think he's a little young to be watching "24" with me.

-paul

 

[Jeff Gatie]

Paul, I assure you if you have more kids down the line, kicking, slapping and biting will become an everyday occurance. My sister has 4 children. 12 yr. M, 10 yr. F twins and a 7 yr F. They have never been exposed to violence aside from the aforementioned Lego guns. My sister would not even let them watch Lamb Chop because "that lamb is too fresh mouthed." They have been fed a steady diet of 'G' rated fare since birth. It is only now that the 12 year old can see PG-13 films. The bickering and fighting has been endless since the twins were old enough to walk. The youngest developed a habit of biting around age 3 because although she was big for her age, she was not coordinated enough to play with her siblings, so she'd bite them out of frustration. The smacking and kicking that goes on when they are doing something as normal as sitting and watching TV is annoying to the point you want to lock them all in a room. Where did they learn this? Who the hell knows, but they do it. It's simply sibling rivalry and although my sister disciplines them when it happens (usually by banishment to their room), it still continues. Why? Because they are siblings, they are kids and they will bicker, fight, kick, slap and yes, even bite. These tantrums are usually followed by a meltdown into uncontrollable tears. Get used to it, get a handle on it and know that for the most part it is normal.

 

[Micheal]

Sorry... at that age it is not "normal".

Something is missing in the discipline. Before you bash me... some altercations are "normal" but what you describe is far from normal for their ages. They should have been taught that this was poor behaviour a LONG time ago.

I grew up in a family of 5 children, my wife in a family of 4 children. Both families had very little going on as far as biting, tantrums, uncontrollable tears, kicking and punching past the age of 3 years old.

Please don't describe your sister's childrens behaviour as normal. For their ages it is far from normal. They are far too old to be acting like they are in their terrible two's and three's.

I also have a TON of Nieces and Nephews that I see on a weekly basis, they have never acted in this way. Ages ranging from 4 to 15.

 

[Jeff Gatie]

Horseshit. You show me a seven year old who has not had a meltdown and I'll show you a kid with a problem. The other's are not prone to meltdowns, but the twins will whine like nobodies business. Mostly this happens when they are tired, which is my sister's fault for not sending them to bed, but Jesus Christmas, I've seen 14 year old girls in uncontrollable tears because a boy didn't say "Hi" to them, never mind a 7 year old.:rolleyes

BTW, I grew up in family of 7 and my brother used to beat the shit out of me for spite, at least once a week and he wasn't even the toughest kid in the family; I had a sister who could beat him up until he was about 17.

 

[Micheal]

Good for you. My Dad would have tanned my brother's hide. I guess that's why he rarely raised a hand towards me. Sure, we had our battles but I can probably count them on one hand. There is enough of that to go through at school, do you really need to come home to it as well?

To each their own. If you want to act like it's all normal behaviour... go ahead. I won't fight you on it. You seem to be very defensive about it so I'll let you be.

Just know this... it doesn't have to be that way for every family and it isn't. As much as you seem to want it to be.

 

[Jeff Gatie]

Maybe I was using hyperbole when I said "everyday occurance." But if the original poster thinks his kid(s) are going to be little angels, he is in for a rude awakening. Especially if he freaks out about every little "my son didn't learn that from me" moment. Kids fight, kids bicker, kids whine, kids kick, bite and slap and yes, kids have meltdowns, even when they are 7 (or 14, if boys don't say "hi"). That was my point. If you say that is not "normal" well, I'd like to know how those other kids blow off steam.

As far as my dad not stepping in, he only did that for the youngest cause he mellowed as he got older (maybe you are the youngest also?). Me, he just said "someday you are going to be as big as him and then he'll rue the day he ever touched you." Funny, I'm still waiting, but he'll be old and out of shape any day now.



I personally loved my childhood. Our fighting made a bond that lasts to this day. My family is close knit, loving and would do anything for each other, unlike some cold distant families that you just know had no issues growing up and never went to war with each other.

 

[Micheal]

Jeff, you just made it sound like it happened all of the time. Like I said, some altercations are normal. What you described sounded like the altercations were the "norm" and happening daily. Sorry if I misunderstood.

As for the original post, he sounds like a concerned parent. Better to be concerned than to not care at all.

I'm not sure how I would feel if I saw my 3 year old load a mock gun, shoot something/imaginary and continue to kick the crap out of it after it "falls" to the ground.

I think you would have to be there for that one.