Villians..... Why always English? (1 Viewer)

[andrew markworthy]

Dennis, just be grateful the Brits don't take offence and place an embargo on exporting our luxury cars, single malt whisky, quality TV programmes, balding actors playing space captains, etc. A little more worthwhile than some cheese smelling of old socks and fizzy pop, methinks.

 

[Keith Mickunas]

Andrew, the most commonly seen British luxury cars over here are now a Ford product. Don't think we need to worry about that embargo.
Back on topic, how many British James Bonds have there been? Not are the Brits only used for villains, they can't even produce their own heros.

 

[TheoGB]

Did you hear about the new French ARMY tank? It has 6 reverse gears, and one forward gear.

That's an old joke about Italian tanks if I remember from the Allies were invading...

 

[Dennis Reno]

Believe me Andrew, I am grateful! I hate brie and champagne gives me a headache (yes, even the "good" stuff.)

As for the "luxury cars, single malt whisky, quality TV programmes, balding actors playing space captains" I must agree. Thankfully you Brits have a good sense of humor... a tad bit warped and sometimes hard to appreciate, but a good one none the less. As for the French sense of humor, I will give you one name to sum it up: Jerry Lewis.

Hey, wait a minute! Weren't the French the bad guys in Monty Python and the Holy Grail??? "...now go away before I taunt you a second time."

 

[Tony_Faville]

Because we kicked your butts 200 years ago.....it gives us the right to pick on you, I think it's in our constitution.
just kidding.
As the quote from Thumb Wars goes, "Why do we all speak in british accents when we are in space and there is no Britain?"
That was right before Black Helmet Man popped his head off using the dark side of the thumb.

 

[Dennis Nicholls]

balding actors playing space captains

Andrew, actually William Shatner is Canadian....
The French get no respect anywhere. Over in a gun-nut forum I frequent, we had a poll as to which country produced the most disrespected military surplus rifles. The French MAS was the overwhelming choice: "never fired, DROPPED only once!"
"We're not gods, we're Englishmen. That's the next best thing." - MWWBK
I'm not so sure about us respecting the English aristocracy. They are all Germans IIRC. Except Winston Churchill (my distant cousin) - he was half-American, and became an American citizen in 1962.
By the way, Tony, it's not in the Constitution. It's in the Declaration of Independence.
"He is at this time transporting large armies of foreign mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty and perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilzed nation."

 

[CharlesD]

They are all Germans IIRC.

You recall incorrectly. Its the "House of Windsor" AKA The Royal Family that has the Germanic heritage, most of the other aristos do not.

 

[Dennis Nicholls]

Hey I'm a lawyer. I'm supposed to exaggerate for emphasis.

 

[Keith Mickunas]

I think Tony means picking on the Brits is a right guaranteed in the Constitution. The reason its there is as defined in the Declaration of Independence.
Hmm, I just checked the Bill of Rights and I can't find it in there. I thought maybe it was under the Pursuit of Happiness clause, but that's in the Declaration of Indpendence, which I don't think actually provides any rights. Perhaps its not a right, but a legal obligation of all Americans. However making fun of the French is optional, and just plain fun.

 

[Dennis Nicholls]

The Declaration of Independence talks about "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness", whereas the Constitution protects "life, liberty, and PROPERTY".

 

[Paul_D]

I doubt anyone here would rather have been Bruce Willis in Die Hard when Alan Rickman was so badass!
"I'm your white knight Hans!"

 

[Holadem]

Did you hear about the new French ARMY tank? It has 6 reverse gears, and one forward gear.

--
Holadem

 

[Peter McM]

"I can do an English accent? That sucker's going on my resume!" - Joey, on Friends

 

[BrianB]

A little joke about everyone hating the English & the superiority of the Scottish
At the beginning of time God was discussing the creation of the world with the angel Gabriel. Leaning back in His golden throne, He told him of His plans for Scotland.
"Gabriel," said God "I am going to give Scotland towering moutains and magnificent glens resplendent with purlpe heather. Red deer will roam the countryside, golden eagles will circle the skies, salmon will leap in the crystal clear rivers and lochs, and the surrounding seas will teem with fish. Agriculture will flourish and there will be a glorious coming together of water with barley to be known as whisky. Coal, oil and gas - all will be there. The Scots will be intelligent, innovative, industrious and ....."
"Wait a minute!" interrupted Gabriel. "Are you not being a just a wee bit too generous to these Scots?"
But the Almighty replied, "Not really. I haven't told you yet who their neighbours are going to be!"
All meant in jest, of course!

 

[Justin Doring]

You guys are too damned hilarious with your tank and rifle jokes! I've been laughing for ten minutes!
A friend of my has a saying: "It is wrong to be French!"
Of course I write this as I sip my Grand Marnier and chill a bottle of Moët!

 

[Dennis Nicholls]

edit...joke is too old

 

[Tony_Faville]

Constitution, Declaration of Independence.....it really doesn't matter guys. It was a JOKE, not intended to be taken literal enough to rate analysis.

 

[andrew markworthy]

Guys, for the last time - nobody in Britain gives a monkey's nuts about the War of Independence. We see it as a justifiable reaction to the British government and monarchy of the time, not to Britain per se.

 

[TheoGB]

Actually, most people don't even know who America fought in the war of Independence, I think!!! As with most school systems, they only teach the battles that your country won!! As far as I know, your average Spaniard has never heard of the Armada.

 

[CharlesD]

It always amazes me that Americans seem to think that the War of Independence/American Revolution is a sore point for modern Brits. I believe there was even a snooty Gentleman's Club in London at the time of the war that dressed it's footmen in the livery of the Continental Army. No self-respecting educated landowner of the time would have put with the loss of privilege and the kind of treatment the colonists received.