The Eternal Simpsons Quote Thread (1 Viewer)

[Anthony Hom]

Comic Book Guy looking straight at a French made neutron bomb coming right at him:

"Oh, I've wasted my life"

 

[Paul P]

Homer in his car, singing to himself: [to the tune of the flintstones theme]

Simpson, Homer Simpson. He's a face right out of historeeee. From the. . .Town of Springfield. . .He's about to hit a chestnut treeeee. AH!

 

[Ash Williams]

From the Lord of the Flies episode:

One of the Purple Twins: "I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's."

Nelson: "Whoa, she really must be hungry."

 

[Paul P]

Mel Gibson: HI EVERYBODY!

[Silence]

Dr. Nick: Hi Mel Gibson!

 

[Mike St.Louis]

I always think of this when I drive past the "Spaghetti Factory" restaraunt:

---

Dr Hibbert: "Where do you kinds want to eat tonight?"

Kid 1: "THE SPAGHETTI LABRATORY!!"

Kid 2: "FACE-STUFFERS!!!"

Kid 3: "PROFESSOR P.J. CORNICOPIA'S FANTASTIC FOOD-MAGORIUM AND GREAT AMERICAN STEAKARY!!!".

 

[Dome Vongvises]

I'd never thought I'd hear Pierce Brosnan say this:

"EH THANKS A LOT ASS WIPE!!! I COULD'VE KICKED YOUR BUTT FROM here to Albaquerque..."

 

[Rob Willey]

Burns walking into a strip club:

"It's one of those nude female fire stations."

Rob

 

[PS Nystrom]

When the child wellfare agency comes to the Simpson household and find Maggie drinking out of the dog bowl while a note is taped to her chest that says "I'm a stupid baby."
Child Welfare Agent: "Stupid babies need the most help."

 

[Mike Broadman]

From the Lord of the Flies episode:

One of the Purple Twins: "I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's."

Nelson: "Whoa, she really must be hungry."

I always thought she said, "I'm so hungry I could eat an army."

 

[Paul P]

Blatantly borrowed from a simpson's site:

HOMER to Grandpa: We'll put you in a home

GRANDPA: But you already put me in a home

HOMER: Okay, we'll put you in that crooked home we saw on 60 Minutes

GRANDPA: I'll be good

 

[Paul P]

I will keep this damn thread alive on my OWN!!!
George Bush and Bill Clinton are revealed to be the Aliens Kang and Kodos, right before the election(Treehouse of horror VII):
Homer: America, take a good look at your beloved candidates. They're nothing but hideous space reptiles. [unmasks them]
[audience gasps in terror]
Kodos: It's true, we are aliens. But what are you going to do about it? It's a two-party system; you have to vote for one of us.
[murmurs in amongst the crowd]
Man1: He's right, this is a two-party system.
Man2: Well, I believe I'll vote for a third-party candidate.
Kang: Go ahead, throw your vote away.
[Kang and Kodos laugh out loud]
[Ross Perot smashes his "Perot 96" hat]

 

[David Lambert]

Carry on people. Move along. Nothing to see here...OH MY GOD! A horrible plane crash! Gather round everybody...

 

[NickSo]

"Duffman, is thrusting in the direction of the problem"

 

[Alan K]

Lenny-Let's make litter of these literati!

Carl-That's too clever-you're one of them!

You don't win friends with salad! You don't win friends with salad!

 

[Paul P]

Marge: Why don't you eat some fruit?
Homer: What about purple? Purple is a fruit.

 

[Rob Willey]

Homer's description of a good practical joke:

"Nothing is hurt except feelings."

"Oh dear, I've redorkulated."

"Now do you believe dead rats float Lisa?"

Rob

 

[CharlesD]

George Bush and Bill Clinton are revealed to be the Aliens Kang and Kodos, right before the election(Treehouse of horror VII):

It was Dole not Bush.
Kodos (as Clinton): I am Clin-Ton. As overlord, all will kneel trembling before me and obey my brutal commands. [crosses arms] End communication.
Marge: Hmm, that's Slick Willie for you, always with the smooth talk.
"Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos!"

 

[Jason St Louis]

Episode :The Boy Who Knew Too Much
Freddy Quimby: Hey, What's the hell is this?
Waiter: It's a bowl of Show-dair, sir.
Freddy: Wait a minute. come here. what did you call it? say it load enough for everyone to hear. come say it.
Waiter: Show-dair
Freddy:frowning:mocking) "Show-dair?" "Show-dair?"
it's "Chowdah." say it right.
Waiter: Show-der.
Freddy: Come back here! I'm not through demeaning you.

 

[Jason St Louis]

Episode : Cape feare (that's the way the episode spells fear?)

(After Sideshow Bob ties up the simpson family except Bart, lisa looks over to her father who is still asleep???)

Lisa: oh no dad's been druged!

Marge: No he hasn't!!!

Episode : Team Homer

Bart: Mom my slingshot doesn't fit in these pockets. And these shorts leave nothing to the imagination. These uniforms suck!

Marge: Bart where do you pick up works like that.

(Homer's on the phone talking to Moe!)

Homer: Yeah Moe, that team sure did suck last night! they just plained sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!

(Marge, Lisa and Bart are completey shocked!!!)

 

[David Oliver]

You fogot to add...

Homer: Oh, I gotta go now, my weiner kids are listening.