soymilk vs coffee (1 Viewer)

[Micah Cohen]

How come when my friend Karen uses soymilk as creamer in her coffee it works fine, but when I use it (having run out of actual creamer) is globs up and breaks apart in the coffee and doesn't do a good job of being a creamer?

Same soymilk. How come it works for her, but not for me?

MC

 

[Garrett Lundy]

Does one of you drink coffee that is significantly hotter than the other?

 

[Chu Gai]

The temperature of your coffee may have an effect. You can test this by just pouring a little coffee into your cup, then add the soy milk, then top it off with more coffee. Also, your coffee may be more acidic than hers which exascerbates curling. Lastly, it may have to do with the brand she's using as opposed to yours. Perhaps yours is flavored?

 

[Joseph DeMartino]

Karen is lying. She actually uses heavy cream, she just pours it into a soy milk container to make you think she uses soy milk. She laughs every time she sees you use the real thing and it clumps in your coffee.

Regards,

Joe

 

[Malcolm R]

Karen can be very cruel that way.

 

[Jeff Loughridge]

Lewis Black said it best...

Basically there is no such thing as soy milk because there is no such thing as a soy breast. There is soy juice, but if they called it that, no one would drink it.

 

[Micah Cohen]

Ah, that's hysterical! Soy juice.

Damn that Lewis Black. Stole my whole MO, made a career out of it, and here I am laughing at something he's said now.

Anyway, Karen is cruel, one of the cruelest, but this happened when I made her a cup of coffee and she asked for the soy juice, which we called "soy milk" at the time, and I said, "Won't work," and she said sure it will, watch! And I watched and it worked.

But then, this morning, same coffee, same soy juice, and mine clumped and bunched and broke up in my coffee.

This is a mystery to me.

Or, merely a sign that I need to hightail it to Safeway and pick up some of that creamer stuff. Causes cancer, doesn't it, tho? I suspect.

MC

 

[JeremyErwin]

The very word 'creamer" sounds divorced from proper gastronomy. Food should be enjoyed-- it shouldn't merely serve some nutritive function. Get some proper milk.

 

[Micah Cohen]

Milk bad, says Mister Colon. Soy better.

I use so little "creamer" that if I buy a little thing of milk it goes bad way before I've gotten thru it. So, I buy that synthetic crap, never goes bad, and I use just a jot of it in my coffee every morning. It's feeding a tumor in my intestines, I just know it.

All these issues I have. What's my frigging problem?

MC

 

[Joseph DeMartino]

"When one orders cream at a restaurant, one should either receive cream or the information that the establishment in question prefers a combination of vegetable oil and cancer-causing initials." - Fran Leibowitz

Actually, I don't think there's anything to worry about with non-dairy creamer. (Or 99.9% of other "health scares" for that matter.) But I love that line anyway.

I always thought there was no soy milk because there were no soy cows. And Black might be wrong about no soy breasts - wasn't somebody trying to make a breast-implant based on a soy-derivative as an alternative to both saline and silicone? I could have sworn I read that somewhere...



Regards,

Joe

 

[Citizen87645]

Hmm...I wonder if you can get them in the same varieties as tofu - firm, extra firm or silken?

 

[MichaelBA]

How about trying Rice Milk in your coffee? Or, to get more exotic, Horchata?

 

[Micah Cohen]

Yipe, that sent me right to "google"... A powdered rice milk-like drink? That's fricking weird, man! I didn't like something about rice milk when I tried it, but I can't recall what. I'm addicted to vanilla "Silk Soy Milk."

But, I'd try it, just to say I tried something called "Horchata."

Where can I buy this? Trader Joes? Wegmans?

MC

 

[MichaelBA]

I've tried Horchata. It's not bad.