Not sure I'll ever get over the sadness associated with September 11, 2001. (1 Viewer)

[KeithH]

It's almost been six months since that fateful day of September 11, 2001. Unfortunately, the impact of the events of that day just do not seem to lessen with time. People talk of where they were when they heard that John F. Kennedy or Martin Luther King, Jr. were shot. I was not on this earth in 1963 or 1968, but 9/11/01 is the day in my life that I will never forget. Images are engrained. Now, I no longer turn on the news fearing another terrorist attack. I have been on airplanes since 9/11, and I do not fear flying. With time, some fears have dissipated. However, what always is there in my mind are those images of the destruction of the World Trade Center. It doesn't help that many movies and TV shows have been filmed in New York City and show the World Trade Center in all its glory. While it is great to see those wonderful structures as they once stood, seeing them does bring back horrific memories of 9/11. Frankly, I'm not sure I will ever get over that.

Something that really "weirds me out" are my vivid memories of events in my life just prior to 9/11. Those events are so clear in my mind, yet the world changed quite drastically only a few days after those events I remember so well. As an example, last Labor Day, my girlfriend and I went to Pittsburgh for an extended weekend. She is from Pittsburgh, so I met her parents and some of her longtime friends, and she showed me the city. I remember our ride up the Duquense Incline to Mount Washington as well as a couple we met on the Incline. I remember restaurants we ate at that weekend and other places we went. Only a few days later, 9/11 came. When I think back to that trip to Pittsburgh and that ride on the Duquense Incline with my memories so vivid, I can't help but think, "Wow, the World Trade Center stood tall that day". It's like I can put myself back there, but of course, I can't really go back. Maybe it sounds crazy, but it is sort of a helpless feeling.

My girlfriend's birthday is September 9th. We were back from Pittsburgh by then, and I took her out for a nice dinner. We went to a first-rate restaurant, and again, I remember that evening like it was yesterday. What we ate, our waiter, what we wore. It was only two days before 9/11. Again, there is an awkward feeling in thinking back to that birthday dinner.

On Monday, September 10th, the Giants and Broncos played on Monday Night Football. Being a fan of the Giants and Kerry Collins, I had been looking forward to that game for quite awhile. The Giants had gone to the Super Bowl the year before (i.e., defending NFC champs), and the Broncos had won two Super Bowls recently. I was ready for a good game. I remember watching that game like it was last night. Sadly, I remember Ed McCaffrey of the Broncos breaking his leg and being lost for the season. That game ended around midnight on the east coast where I live. I was disappointed that my Giants had lost, but the game ended just some nine hours before tragic events would unfold. It's weird when I remember sitting on my couch after that game dejected that the Giants had played poorly and then realize that the World Trade Center towers were still standing tall.

On the morning of September 11th, I got to work at 7:30 a.m., and some of my colleagues and I talked about the Giants-Broncos game. I remember complaining about the Giants loss. Then about an hour after that discussion, I got an e-mail from my girlfriend that said, "Two planes crashed into the World Trade Center. Get to a radio." I froze. I couldn't believe it. I told a couple of my colleagues, and within minutes everyone in my building was talking about it and listening to radios. By noon that day, my office had closed, and I was home watching the news, on that same couch that I had watched Monday Night Football the night before. I saw the footage of the World Trade Center destruction over and over and heard constant reports of the estimated death toll. It was surreal, yet it was real.

Does anyone else still get weird feelings about 9/11? Sorry for rambling on, but I had to get this off my chest.

 

[Chuck C]

Keith, I feel ya....it's kinda scary the world we live in, isn't it? My understanding is that college students like myself have been impacted the least by 9/11, and I agree. College kids are within a protective "bubble" while away at college. However, every night and sometimes during the day, I wish it was Sept. 10th again. As the saying goes, it'll get a lot worse before it gets better...boy does that saying hold true today, just take a look at the escalating world events (ground battles, US troops dying, West Bank and GAZA, India, and so forth). It's scary. But hopefully there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and pretty soon that 6 months will turn into a year, and then 6 years, and we'll seamlessly move on.

 

[Will K]

This is not something I've talked to many people about, but this thing is kind of haunting me. I don't know why(I've never even been to NYC), but I find myself thinking about it a lot, even sometimes at night when I'm trying to go to sleep. I'm drawn to images, videos, and just about anything on TV that has to do with the disaster; not obssessed, mind you, but fascinated in a very sad way. Everytime I see the towers in old photos or movies, it's just so very eerie. I think the thing that gets me most is imagining(though I really can't) what it must have been like for the people trapped in the buildings--and even worse--as they collapsed. I don't think the sheer horror of that thought will ever leave me. It just reminds me that in this world, there really is no Superman that could've saved the day.

 

[Paul Jenkins]

here is an article you may relate to:
http://www.msnbc.com/news/719475.asp?0dm=C1BOH

IN THE WEEKS immediately after the World Trade Center collapse, psychologists were deluged with requests for counseling from survivors, rescue workers and victims’ relatives, as well as people who had mainly watched the tragedy on television. In November and December, there was a lull. But in recent few weeks, calls to employee-assistance programs and private counselors in the city have started up again.
The strain of months of living with searing memories, frequent terrorist alerts and fears about what the future will bring is taking a toll. “People have said to me, ‘we are shouting at each other and we are not even angry,’” says Henry Spitz, who heads the couples therapy program at Columbia University’s medical school. “There is a background tension that is there all the time,” he says. The level of irritability is so high, it’s “like chalk on a blackboard.”
“Our reserves were used up by 9/11,” adds Ellen McGrath, a psychotherapist with a private practice in Brooklyn. She says the period of greatest danger after a traumatic incident is from the six-month anniversary to the one-year mark and beyond. “This is the season when it starts,” says Dr. McGrath, who fears an upsurge in rages, self-destructive behavior and even suicides. “The despair, the helplessness get so intense. … It bursts out.”

 

[DaveF]

I quickly read your thoughts on how Sept 11 still echoes in your emotions and thoughts. I suggest speaking with a counselor (or psychologist). Whether it's your priest/minister/rabbi, local professional, or University's services, try it out.
In my experience, counseling is not a solution. Rather, it's a way to help identify and specify emotional challenges or problems, as well as ways to work through them. It can be helpful.
Somewhat related, I had my periodic appointment with my Nurse Practictioner (at the Univ's "Mental Health" dept) around Sept 15. Though normally we talk about how I'm doing this time we were both pretty frazzled and I think I listened more to her talk about her reaction to things .
Take care!

 

[EricK]

Keith,

I know how you feel. As a New Yorker or Long Islander (soon to be permanent NJ'ian), I have had the pleasure of having gone to "the Top of the World" at the Twin Towers. Having been there several times, its hard to comprehend the fact that the skyscrapers are no longer standing and that I, along with millions cannot enjoy the top of the world.

That fateful day, I was in my second week of student teaching. First period had just ended, and I was on prep periods (no class until 5th, which usually gave us much of the morning to chat and fool around in the teachers lounge). When the first plane hit, one of my colleagues came running in and exclaimed to us that "a plane crashed into the WTC." We were stunned. It seemed like a cruel joke (We all vividly remembered 1993's garage bomb incident) but his face suggested that he was telling the truth. After bringing in his B & W tv, we sat in horror as the flames and smoke came up out of the building. Newscasters were speculating as to the crash. Was it a terrorist attack? Was it an out of control plane? An accident? Then, within a few moments, we all winced as we watched the second plane fly from the right of the TV screen and crash into the other tower. I was stunned...right in front of my eyes...the second plane collided. The newscaster screamed "oh my god, another plane!" We sat in sadness and disbelief as my supervsing teacher exclaimed in anger and disbelief that it was now "no doubt, a terrorist attack. Bin Laden is hitting us." From then on out, we watched as the Pentagon got hit and as the fourth plane crashed into Pennsylvania. The school seemed to be in a state of wary cautiousness. Approximately an hour after the Pentagon was hit, the principal announced to the students that "an incident occurred at the WTC." She offered to all students the opportunity to make phone calls to families, if they had parents or relatives in the WTC. For the rest of the day my classes sat in the library watching the newscasts and listening to experts speculate about what was to happen next. That day, what really hit home for me, was when a young girl flew down the hall, past our lounge screaming and crying because she remembered what happened in 93. Worse, her father was in the WTC that morning, and chances were that she would never see him again. Another young lady, in my 5th period class, also had her father in the WTC. Thankfully, he had not gone to work that morning, having opted to attend a meeting not too far from the WTC.

Later that week, I was planning on seeing my now fiance for the weekend. She was to come to Long Island from NJ, but due to the incident, those plans were canceled. I decided to make the trip and on the Friday after the incident, I cried as I drove over the Verrazano Bridge to Staten Island. There, clearly you could see the devastation - fire, smoke, black polluting the air. I guess it was almost a catharsis - I had to make the trip, had to see what had happened, experience it for myself as closely as I could. For a Long Islander, things were scary. After all the bridges and tunnels are our only way of getting off the Island onto continental America. I kept thinking as I was driving - what if this isn't over? What if they go after bridges and tunnels? Everything, then, was very scary - hell it still is scary sometimes now. And I think it will be for a long time.

Additionally, I have been traveling the Long Island - New Jersey circuit most of my life. Nowadays it hurts when I travel across Brooklyn to Staten Island via either the Belt Parkway or Brooklyn Queens Expressway. The view (was) and still is amazing of the southern part of the city from the Verrazano Bridge or BQE. Somehow it now seems empty with the loss of the towers. It is very sad to cross that bridge and no longer see the Twin Towers poking up out of the New York City skyline.

I dread the day when I fly into LaGuardia or JFK as the view from the plane was a beautiful look at the city. You knew you were in NY when you could look out the window and see the Towers in the south, the Empire State Building in midtown and Central Park as you headed uptown. Now that look is no longer there. It is indeed a sad thing to think about.

I feel the pain and sorrow of many who lost loved ones in the WTC. Currently I work part time at a Sylvan Learning

Center. There I have a student who lost her father in the WTC. It pains me to see her sadness and I know how she feels. It really stinks to lose a loved one to a natural death, but must really hurt to lose a loved one to a death caused by madmen.

I really hope the towers are rebulit. Or at least some sort of monument in their place. Thats the least we can do to preserve not only the legacy of the Towers but also to ensure that we and the world will never forget those who died in the incident and the heroes that tried to save them.

Eric.

 

[RicP]

If anyone is interested...
This is an article I wrote for a local Newspaper here in October. It basically details my experience on the day and for a few weeks after.
You'll need Adobe Acrobat Reader. If you are kind enough to read it, I'd appreciate your thoughts on it. Thanks
http://www.ricperrott.com/FrontRow.pdf

 

[Jack Briggs]

These are some mighty fine posts, gentlemen. Excellent thread. And thank you for sharing these thoughts and experiences.

 

[Inspector Hammer!]

September 11th 2001 was one of the most terrible day's in America's history, and I never want to see another day like it, ever.
As for my feelings about it now, I have mostly finished greiving about it, their just came the moment for me when I knew I had to move on. The World Trade Center is gone, it happened, all we can do now is go on and rebuild, both those buidings and our lives, although the former is the easiest of the two to rebuild.
But I have a much greater appreciation for those buildings that I didn't have before, I just wish it didn't take a tragedy like this to do it. I have posters, calenders, and books about The World Trade Center and it's history. I find myself staring at my poster of them on the wall and just marveling at them, they're size, their imposing presence in the NY skyline.
I never had the pleasure of seeing them in person, but i'm afraid of heights anyway, so perhaps that was a choice I made, I probably would have passed out just looking up at them.
Last I heard, ground zero was almost completly cleaned up and ready to build on, I have no idea what will eventually go their, but to me it doesn't matter because whatever goes their will represent us as a culture as one that moves forward, and it will let those evil fucks know that they didn't do a thing to hurt us in the long run.

 

[MickeS]

September 11th will forever be a day of sadness, at least for me. I will not always express it, but I will always feel it, when I see pictures of the WTC or of the Pentagon. Nothing in the world can change that, not even time I think. I wouldn't want it any other way.

/Mike

 

[Peter Apruzzese]

Ric,

Wonderful article. I can't really say anything other than that. Thank you for sharing it.

 

[Ron-P]

Thanks for letting us read that Ric.
I find myself thinking about Sept. 11th everyday. The sadness and pain may never fully go away, all I can do is learn to live with it.
God Bless America
Peace out~

 

[Maurice McCone]

Although I am Northern Irish and live in England, I feel a connection to the events of the 11th Sept and would offer these couple of thoughts...

I was in New York on holiday three weeks to the day defore this incident, and remember staring at the WTC from the Empire State Building observation deck and remembering how I had stood on one of those Towers as a youngster in 1977. It is incomprehensible to me that those beautiful buildings and all those people are not there any more, it is with mixed feelings that I look forward to my next visit to NYC.

My connections to these events come from having lived through 30 years of terrorism in Northern Ireland.

You hear, see and experience incidents over a number of years that shake you to the core every time.

I have had relatives killed, friends blown up, for doing nothing but walk into a pub or shopping on a Saturday afternoon.

We have had mourners at a war memorial, blown up by the IRA.

Pregnant women killed destroying two lives.

Each time you think, surely this is the worst things can get?

The sad thing is that we live in a world were we all must share the terrible knowledge that things like these and the WTC, will happen again, diferent circumstances, different numbers of victims but, they will happen, because there are terrorists of a different name, throughout this world.

If that is the depressing reality, I am sorry, but let me tell you this...

The truth and good news is also that, ....we do get through it..and our societies do survive!

Whether it is the people of Northern Ireland emerging from 30 years of darkness, the people of London, who Mayor Guliani has reminded us , survived a terible Blitz in 1940, or the people of New York now.....people survive and are, stronger for the terrible experience.

I hope this last point is the encouragement that it was meant to be....and I hope that I remember that on my next trip to NYC.

 

[John Kilduff]

This is a thread I've been waiting for.

To this day, I'm still in shock and sadness.

September 10th was just an average day for me. It was during my brief time in college. I was trying to deal with the fact that I was having a hard time with girls. I spent most of the night of September 10th doing laundry and listening to CDs. I was listening to the song "Perfect World" by Huey Lewis & The News. I agreed with the lyrics "There ain't no perfect world anywhere...but we'll keep on dreaming of living in a perfect world". It gave me hope that I might get a girl yet.

Then, on the morning of September 11th, at first nothing was happenning. I walked to my film class, and the students were gathered waiting for the teacher. A different teacher informed us that one of the Twin Towers suffered a plane crash. We all thought it was a horrible mistake, then a few minutes later, we got news that the other tower was destroyed, and we knew that this wasn't a mistake. Classes were cut short, and I headed to the student commons to get some lunch. I didn't have much of an appetite, but looking around me, the scene was amazing. We were all united in grief and fear. Walking to my room, I broke down into tears. I started playing music to bolster my confidence and make the statement that I wouldn't take this shit lying down. I played "The Star-Spangled Banner" by Whitney Houston, "Invincible" by Pat Benatar, "Ordinary World" by Duran Duran, "We're Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister...I donated money and blood...I cried when I heard "God Bless The USA" by Lee Greenwood...The experience hurt me so much that it was one of the reasons I dropped out of college after only a month.

I still cry, and I still have a hard time laughing when they make fun of George W. Bush, our leader in these times.

God, I'm depressed.

I am looking forward to the Academy Awards because of their September 11th tribute. They're going to remember the day in their own manner. I think it'll probably be scenes from movies set in New York and other states set to a medley of movie songs designed to inspire and uplift. I wonder if I'll be right.

Sincerely,

John "Either way, I'm recording the ceremony" Kilduff

 

[Raymond_H]

Hello,

Great Thread.

I'm usually a lurker on this forum, but the title of this thread and the content within it wanted me to share in this discussion.

I am 20 years old (21 next week) and I worked the graveyard shift on September 10 going into September 11 morning. I arrived home early around 6a.m, then I woke up to a call made by my mother, she told me on the phone "Turn on your T.V, somebody attacked the Pentagon and the WTC" while still mostly in sleep mode, I replied "What?" and just interrupted the call from my mother, just as a normal morning call asking me to remember this and that...So I hung up the phone.

As I went back into my bed, the words immediatley jumped into my mind "Attacked.Pentagon.World Trade Center!" so like most people, I was drawn to the T.V for that entire day.

I grieved for those people that died that day, not just for those in the WTC, Pentagon or on airplanes, just for ALL people. Just a terrible day, not for Americans but for the world. Many different nations were affected that day.

I obsessed with this whole tradegy for a while. It seems people I knew didn't get just how big in scale this tradegy was. If only one Airplane went down, that in itself is a huge tradegy.

Currently though, I think about 9-11 only when someone brings it up, or I see a news story about it.

I hate to say it but I am kinda used to tradegy, and coping with it. I remember the Timothy McVeigh bombing, and I was very young at that age. And when I first heard about 9-11, the name Timothy McVeigh entered my mind, because if the events of 9-11 were caused by domestic evil, then I have no idea what I would be feeling today.

I have seen terrible things, tradegy that hits more home then 9-11 ( I obviously didn't know anybody that was killed there), like a friend being shot and killed. Living in Los Angeles while I was young, we had alot of these. Being in hospitals with these family friends losing loved ones.

I grew up in the Philippines and go there every year. And tradegy is seen in plain sight in every corner. You cannot escape from it.

I currently work at a hospital, and see people die everyday.

My wife recently has had a miscarriage, and that hurt us greatly.

My point after saying all that is, I have dealt with unsightful things all my life. Which made 9-11 a little more easy for me to cope with but I still have perspective of the tradegy, the scale of it is something I cannot even begin to comprehend.

We all deal with things differently, but I can see how something like this can greatly affect a person forever. I just hope we all can learn to remember, share, and think positive for the future.

Ray

 

[Seth Paxton]

Funny this comes up as I was just sitting at CNN.com going through the images and stories again for no particular reason, I was just drawn in. And it had me choked up all over again.

Part of it is that there are just so many horrifying angles on the situation. My personal toughest image is the stewardess describing their location on a cell phone and then realizing at the last second what was about to happen and saying "oh god".

The other thing that still strikes me is that the flames coming out of the building feel almost blood red to me, the color in them is so intensely orange/red.

But I hope we have these images paraded in our face for years to come. I fear everything becoming "normal" and then people questioning our military/political efforts in the Mid-East. I hate when the victims are forgotten or set aside. I think we need to always remember the message that was sent to us.

Also, in many ways I am feeling more patriotic about the images of the WTC than the Statue of Liberty. Certainly they have been made into more of an icon of American strength than they were prior to 9-11. It also makes me appreciate similar structures like Sears Tower and what an amazing triumph of engineering they are.

Sometimes we get in cynical ruts where these things seem materialistic, but humans have always needed temples/structures/symbols of their culture to center their focus on. I think we see just how powerful those icons are even though it's usually subconscious.

While the buildings are not important compared to the lives lost, in so many ways they are inseperable.

 

[MickeS]

A few times over the past months I've gone to http://www.tvarchive.org and watched the archived live broadcast from ABC. It's so sad, knowing now what they didn't know then, to hear them sit there and speculate what might have happened, after the first plane hit, and they sound so hopeful that everything will be OK... until the second plane hits, and even then they're trying to keep the hope up.
/Mike

 

[Joel C]

http://www.tomatonation.com/thouart.asp

 

[Jon D]

While I wasn't personally involved (live in Minnesota) Sept. 11th still hits hard. I woke up around ten, central time, and turned on CNN, the headline read "both trade center towers have collapsed". I remember thinking it was a joke, and being really pissed off at it, but then it hit as to what was really happening. I told my roomate to turn on the TV, called my parents, and left for my campus at 11:30. I got there and everybody was walking around in a daze, and there was somebody playing an accoustic guitar and singing on our campus mall. For the next two days I didn't leave the TV, and as a result nearly failed a test. I've never seen the towers with my own eyes, but it still doesn't make anything easier. Supposedly it's been six months. It doesn't seem that long ago.