Julie Ks dream come true? (1 Viewer)

[Mike Broadman]

So I'm in the library looking for something to read and for some reason this thread (or one like it) popped into my head, so I picked up a Lovecraft book. Now I too know the glorious horrors of the Elders.

Is it bad when the HTF starts to effect my life, even outside of DVD purchases?

 

[Julie K]

Is it bad when the HTF starts to effect my life, even outside of DVD purchases?

Not when it involves Lovecraft! Congratulations for discovering the mind-wrecking horrors of the Great Old Ones. May they give you many unmentionably eldritch nightmares.

 

[TimDoss]

...and suddenly, out of Julie's computer monitor, comes an evil,
green, scaly claw, dripping a clear sticky substance whose
foul stench has only been known to the rare few who have
spoken those words aloud. "A Howler Monkey on crack".
Never were these hideous words meant to be spoken together,
and when they are, horrible consequences must be paid.
The claw grips her by the throat and pulls her into the
black abyss that just so briefly before had been the HTF
website. Shards of glass tear away clothing and flesh with
a sickeningly wet sound. In an instant, Julie is gone from
this world, dragged down into the depths of insanity into a
hell that is filled with tiny people playing endlessly in
shopping carts with the plastic car in front.

 

[Max Leung]

I might teach you the proper ways to open the Gate, but then I would never have the pleasure of reading one of your posts again!

I find your concern touching *suppress sniffle*, but as a loyal Space Moose follower and wannabe antlered minion, it is in my nature to confront beings who are worthy targets of cheap laughs and gross-out toilet jokes, plushy or not.

I would bravely clutch my stuffed Space Moose doll (clothed in a Starfleet uniform naturally), holding it aloft as I enter the gate, but alas such a thing does not yet exist. It sure would be neat to go John-Woo style on the big-eyed plushy tentacled-one: super-soaker filled with soya sauce in one hand, and wasabi-grenade in the other.

Only a flock of scantily-clad buxom babes could stop me from fulfilling this quest...

(psst that was a hint)

 

[Jack Briggs]

Same here. My latest copies of Sound & Vision and Stereophile Guilde to Home Theater are lying on the coffee table in my living room, and neither magazine has a stitch of clothing on, thus enabling me to see the pic of Zenith's new 34-inch, 16:9 direct-view monitor. Completely distracts me.

I am appalled by all the naked magazines in my house. Why, I have the first forty issues of The Abso!ute Sound magazine, and because they are properly clothed, they are in mint condition and worth some money.

Anyone ever notice how really fat, thick magazines don't look good without enough clothes on?

 

[Julie K]

loyal Space Moose follower

Double hmmmm....

Any relation to the Giant Mutant Star Goat that ate Golgafrincham?

Triple hmmm....naked magazines? This thread is starting to get a little bit weird.

 

[Max Leung]

I like magazines that have 0.7 waist-to-hip ratios, myself. In fact, when I encounter such a magazine, I pop a seam! Which is very embarassing, to be honest. And things get sticky when I find a magazine only wearing a thong!
I've forgotten what planet Space Moose came from. I'd like to think he is a twin of Tom Green, except Space Moose got all the funny genes and Tom Green didn't!
You can peruse the life history of the moose at dubya dubya dubya dot space moose dot com.
I wonder if you can make lipstick from Cthulhu-slime. Do you guys think it would also make a good facial? Where's Eve, the resident HTF cosmetic expert, when you need her? It's an emergency!

 

[Jack Briggs]

Eve's a goth freak, isn't she?
But let's be cool, guys, as this thread's getting too weird for Julie!

 

[Julie K]

I wonder if you can make lipstick from Cthulhu-slime.

Well, I wouldn't know. I avoid all forms of makeup. It burns my skin and makes my eyes water. Even the stuff marketed under the non-allergenic labels makes my skin pucker and ridged.

But then, perhaps a line of Cthulhu Cosmetics is exactly what I need...

 

[Eric Kahn]

can we properly call food made from a world destroying, all powerfull space being Sushi???

I have never read any of the Cthulhu stories so I am not sure what he really is

 

[Julie K]

I have never read any of the Cthulhu stories so I am not sure what he really is

He is the high priest of the Great Old Ones who came to Earth millions upon millions of years ago. They are material beings, but not composed of matter as we know it. When the stars are right they can plunge between the stars, but when the universe changes they cannot live. Cthulhu secured himself and the others in his city of R'lyeh to wait until the stars once again become right. That city, with angles and geometry that the human mind cannot comprehend, long ago sunk but before it did Cthulhu initiated a telepathic communication with early humans (and in fact molded their minds) and created a cult which waits to do his bidding once R'lyeh rises from beneath the waves and the time comes for his awakening. Cthulhu can disperse his form and apparently re-form at will, thus making even such things as nukes completely ineffective against him. A disturbing couplet in the dread Necronomicon is said to hint at the horrors: "That is not dead which can eternal lie/And with strange aeons even death may die."
But then, that's just my quick cliff-notes summary. For a far better look at Cthulhu you should go to the source: H.P. Lovecraft's The Call of Cthulhu

 

[Max Leung]

So, any more solacious encounters with the great tentacled one, Julie?

 

[Bill Kane]

solacious

... this must be a salacious encounter in a solarium

 

[Julie K]

So, any more solacious encounters with the great tentacled one, Julie

Max, Max, Max...
After all I've written (and hopefully what HPL has written - you have by now read some of his work, haven't you?) I would have hoped that you would realize that solace is the very last thing that Cthulhu would provide.
Anyway, here's a link to two different sizes of a cute little TV commercial for the breakfast cereal called "Myth*Os". I got a big laugh from it.
(For the uninititated: the writings of HPL and other writers has often been called the Cthulhu Mythos, or sometimes just the Mythos.)

 

[Mike Broadman]

I would just like to bitch that all the book stores I've visited do not carry hardcover Lovecraft books. All they have are these lame little paperbacks with like three stories. Yech.
I know return you to your weirdness.

 

[Julie K]

Mike,
Bookstores just don't give HPL any respect. Just go to the source at Arkham House to get the beautiful set of four hardcovers. They'll ship it out much faster than Amazon. (And I don't even want to think of the idiocy shown by my local B&N when I tried to order a book in person...)

I know return you to your weirdness.

Well, I certainly don't see any reason this thread can't evolve into a "HPL appreciation support group" Of course, I could see that in itself presenting many opportunities for strangeness and weird tales...

 

[Jack Briggs]

But I have a tendency to hijack your threads. Wait! You didn't start this thread. Never mind. ...

 

[Mike Broadman]

(And I don't even want to think of the idiocy shown by my local B&N when I tried to order a book in person...)

My B&N offered to order something for me, but for some reason I just didn't feel like it. I have a bad feeling about it for some reason. It's like if they don't have it there- tough! I'll get it somewhere else. (I know, it sounds incredibly stupid. It is. :b )

Thanks for the link, Julie. If I get one, it would be the Dunwhich Horror or the Mountains of Madness. Those seem to cut right into the heart of Lovecraft. Now it's just a matter of juggling this and the SACDs I want that I'm lamenting over in the music forum.

I wonder what I can get for my left kidney. I don't think I really use that one...

Those books would sure look good on my bookshelf... if I had a bookshelf.

 

[Max Leung]

... this must be a salacious encounter in a solarium

Nope, I really meant solacious (as in, solace). Using the word salacious would imply carnal pleasure (think of the tentacles!), and that just isn't Julie's style!
But, I'm glad you said it and not me!
Alas, I have not been able to partake in any HPL love - err, I mean - readfests. I'm too busy catching up in military theory (I'm going through Creveld's Transformation of War at this moment), once again setting aside my oft-put-off human nature books. Thankfully, Creveld recognizes how ancient tribal humans practiced warfare, and that we're already in the midst of a new era in the waging of war (Black Hawk Down is the tip of the iceberg). Oops I'm hijacking my own thread!
Darnit, I haven't read any fiction in quite a few months. And I still have a backlog of Ian Banks books...arrrgggh.

 

[Julie K]

Using the word salacious would imply carnal pleasure (think of the tentacles!), and that just isn't Julie's style!

Well, I would think the example of poor Livinia Whateley would serve as reason enough to avoid the more intimate types of contact with the various Mythos entities. Summoning one to wipe out a noisy supermarket already presents great risk to one's sanity, but sex? That's just not right.
(Hmmm...first we have a food theme, now a sex theme...I guess we have Max's favorite subjects here )
Mike,
They're very nice books and do indeed look great on a bookshelf If I could only get one it would probably be Dunwich Horror and Others simply because it has my three favorite stories in it. Although Mountains of Madness is probably my next favorite story.