Joseph Young
Screenwriter
- Joined
- Oct 30, 2001
- Messages
- 1,352
What a cool thread.
It is easy to see the world, re: the 'single' people and the non-single people because it helped me justify why I could never be totally satisfied in a relationship.
I have some seriously deluded friends who somehow believe that because I have dated a lot and been with many beautiful women that I somehow have the secret to happiness. That, of course, is rubbish. I've always had a difficult time committing, not that I haven't tried. My secret, and I am not proud of this, by the way, is that I'm a player who has himself fooled that he is not a player. I fool myself before the other person has a chance to get duped. The angel on my shoulder leads me into every dating situation with the express purpose of 'giving my all' emotionally and then Mr. Devil shows up and hands me 100 excuses for why this person isn't good enough for me. Yuch. It's a terribly destructive spiral to get locked into. It's like the dynamics of a manic-depressive personality externalized and transposed onto a real-world relationship, over and over and over again.
So let me create a few categories: The nomads and the homesteaders. The homesteaders have an easier time (and I envy them) finding a match. They are just as picky and have just as much integrity, but they find compatibility with less friction. The nomads, on the other hand, are always looking for something that rests just beyond the horizon line. I have a tendancy to meet someone, get all googly, roll out the red carpet, lavish the person with praise and attention and sex appeal, and then, like a light switch...
I shut it off.
I'm a great justifier, a great excuse-maker, and I can talk my way out of anything intangible, esoteric, instinctual, or emotional (just don't put me in a political argument, I lose those easily). As much as I was irritated by the film 'Vanilla Sky,' (I have not seen 'open your eyes') I related, on a very surface level, to the vanity and the fear of the main character. His looks and charm carry him through life but when faced with his inner self, his commitment, his goals, his ugliness, he blanches. He loses his mind. Damn, that movie really screwed with me in spite of its inanity.
What I'm trying to say here is, I envy those, and many of them are my friends, who have known little of relationships in their life and would like nothing more than to perform acts of selfless love for a significant other. While people like me are off pulling our nomadic secret agent routines, practicing acts of selfish 'pseudo love,' the homesteaders are day in, day out arbitors of selfless, commital love.
Of course then... I could be wrong.
cheers,
~j
It is easy to see the world, re: the 'single' people and the non-single people because it helped me justify why I could never be totally satisfied in a relationship.
I have some seriously deluded friends who somehow believe that because I have dated a lot and been with many beautiful women that I somehow have the secret to happiness. That, of course, is rubbish. I've always had a difficult time committing, not that I haven't tried. My secret, and I am not proud of this, by the way, is that I'm a player who has himself fooled that he is not a player. I fool myself before the other person has a chance to get duped. The angel on my shoulder leads me into every dating situation with the express purpose of 'giving my all' emotionally and then Mr. Devil shows up and hands me 100 excuses for why this person isn't good enough for me. Yuch. It's a terribly destructive spiral to get locked into. It's like the dynamics of a manic-depressive personality externalized and transposed onto a real-world relationship, over and over and over again.
So let me create a few categories: The nomads and the homesteaders. The homesteaders have an easier time (and I envy them) finding a match. They are just as picky and have just as much integrity, but they find compatibility with less friction. The nomads, on the other hand, are always looking for something that rests just beyond the horizon line. I have a tendancy to meet someone, get all googly, roll out the red carpet, lavish the person with praise and attention and sex appeal, and then, like a light switch...
I shut it off.
I'm a great justifier, a great excuse-maker, and I can talk my way out of anything intangible, esoteric, instinctual, or emotional (just don't put me in a political argument, I lose those easily). As much as I was irritated by the film 'Vanilla Sky,' (I have not seen 'open your eyes') I related, on a very surface level, to the vanity and the fear of the main character. His looks and charm carry him through life but when faced with his inner self, his commitment, his goals, his ugliness, he blanches. He loses his mind. Damn, that movie really screwed with me in spite of its inanity.
What I'm trying to say here is, I envy those, and many of them are my friends, who have known little of relationships in their life and would like nothing more than to perform acts of selfless love for a significant other. While people like me are off pulling our nomadic secret agent routines, practicing acts of selfish 'pseudo love,' the homesteaders are day in, day out arbitors of selfless, commital love.
Of course then... I could be wrong.
cheers,
~j
That may have already been posted here but it's hilarious.
