I met a cool girl.

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by StephenA, Feb 25, 2003.

  1. StephenA

    StephenA Screenwriter

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    I met a cool girl these past 5 or 6 days while I was gone(see my previous thread). To me she's very beautiful and nice. She always made me smile and helped cheer me up when I was down. I gave her my phone number and address and hopefully she'll write and/or call when she gets home and settles in. She gave me hope that I'll be able to get a girlfriend someday.
     
  2. Seth_L

    Seth_L Screenwriter

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    Don't hold your breath on that girlfriend thing. [​IMG]

    Just kidding. I'm 23 and seemingly permanently single myself.

    Seth
     
  3. Jared_B

    Jared_B Supporting Actor

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    LOL @ permanently single. Seth, I'm also 23, and I'm having similar luck!

    Stephen - good luck! She sounds nice.
     
  4. Christ Reynolds

    Christ Reynolds Producer

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    congrats stephen, i hope it works out for you. i'm 24, and it seems like i am permanently hitched. i had one gf for 7 years, and then one for 8 months, and one for two months, and after a few months off, i have one now, been 5 months so far. i am lucky too, they are much too good looking to be with me, so i dont know what the attraction is! is surely doesnt lie in my taste of movies. must be my big.....receiver. pioneer elite always seems to get the girls.

    CJ
     
  5. Seth_L

    Seth_L Screenwriter

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    Wow, way to cheer us all up Christ.

    Seth
     
  6. StephenA

    StephenA Screenwriter

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    The only thing that I think might be a problem is that she's 18 and I'm 23. I'm sure it could work, but knowing my luck it wouldn't. If it wasn't for my screwed up(not just bad) luck, I wouldn't have any. I just can't get mind off her. Crazy I know.
     
  7. Danny Tse

    Danny Tse Producer

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    Come on! You people are making me depressed. I'm 36 and seemingly permanently single [​IMG]

    So, Pioneer Elite components attract the girls? Good enough of a reason for further upgrading. [​IMG]
     
  8. Andrew_Sch

    Andrew_Sch Cinematographer

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    Stephen, I'm afraid I know exactly how I feel. There's this girl at school who I've known for a while, but since the beginning of this school year we've become really good friends. Then, about a month ago, we went out to see Chicago and then hang out at her house with some other friends. It was around this point that I realized I was madly in love with her. She's got the most beautiful smile you'll ever see, and I just love every little thing about her. Unfortunately, she doesn't feel the same way about me and has a kinda-sorta boyfriend (meaning they've been going out for about three weeks and have only done something alone with each other once). Anyway, I'm just rambling here now, but needless to say she's pretty much all I think about. In fact, the only time I don't think about her longingly is when I'm with her. I could go on boring you all with more of my pathetic story for hours, but I'll leave it at this...
     
  9. Jared_B

    Jared_B Supporting Actor

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  10. Chris PC

    Chris PC Producer

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    Forget about the age thing. The age rule is something I used to use, but then when you get to my age, uh-hmm of 32, it works against you. I don't intend to date teenagers now, and I think I might try to avoid teenagers. I don't think dating a teenager when I'm in my forties would make much sense either. There is a person I like right now who is much younger than me and I cannot control my thoughts. I just control my actions. Trouble is, my thoughts for her are pretty genuine I believe, so getting together with other woman, so far on lunch dates and stuff, hasn't shaken my interest in the other person. But back to your situation. There is a limit to the age restriction, so don't pay attention to it as its only distracting. Age is rarely a good enough reason to not consider getting together with someone. Think about it this way. There are enough relationships out there with people who have a much greater difference in age than you describe and that gives plenty of proof that it works. Five and ten years apart, 15 and even over 20 years apart. I think once you approach and pass 20 years apart, its kinda getting to the outer limits, but you'll still find relationships with those age differences. They are out there.

    When I just turned 26 I dated someone who was just turning 20 a few months into my dating her. We met while we were both in University, so it wasn't totally un-unsual. Only went out for a few months, but at least I know. If I didn't go out with her because of age, then I'd never know and I'd have regrets. No thanx. I'll take the live or love and learn approach. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I will also qualify that you should not look for people of any specific age, except that the bulk of the people you look for companionship should be closer to you in age rather than farther apart in age. Its ok to consider people of different ages, but don't look for companions only among people much younger than you, or close to your age either. Either way, you're limiting yourself.

    What I'm trying to say is, age, a tiny difference in age like you are describing, is not a good enough reason to avoid someone because then you might be missing out on that special someone. I will qualify though, that both woman and men go through a growth change in maturity from 18 to 20 because its after they leave highschool and all their growing kinda happens at once. Has to do with life change and responsibility, and personal change sometimes co-incides. Sometimes it lasts into their 20's. There is a little bit of risk that she will change as she ages from 18 to 20 and 21, but I don't think you are old enough that you should distance yourself from her.

    If you are really interested in her, then I would suggest seriously considering looking her up and contacting her yourself now, or very soon. Forget about being eager or whatever. Just decide whether she is someone you would regret not getting to know, dating and going out with and decide if you want to contact her and get together.What if she meets someone tomorrow? That is far too great a risk. If you kinda like her, fine, wait and see, but if you are being honest when you say you really like her, than I bet you'll be disappointed if it doesn't work out because you neglected to contact her and she met someone else. I can't predict the future, and I'm not trying to make you worry, but just seriously be honest with yourself about your feelings and thoughts and act on them now. Its now or never. I don't know your timelines completely though, so adjust accordingly. Do you expect to see this person again through circumstance or was there a really obvious sign that she would contact you? Whatever the case may be. Act on your emotions sooner than later.

    Andrew_Sch,

    I understand the liking of someone who has a boyfriend. That really sucks big time. Tell me a little more about the situation. No specifics, but you are friends with this person? You know she doesn't feel the same way about you as you feel about her? Have you told her you have feelings for her? Don't assume she knows. I'm not saying you must tell her you have feelings for her, as that might change your friendship, but I'm just wondering what communication has actually gone on between the two of you. You could remain friends partly in the hope that you have a chance with her in the future, but thats painfully exhausting, I'm sorta there now, but her relationship with this person is only 3 weeks old. It might be an option to simply tell her in a very non-intrusive and friendly way that you have feelings for her? Just wondering what you think. Lemme know.
     
  11. Andrew_Sch

    Andrew_Sch Cinematographer

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    Chris, here's the situation, and it's not a good one. Due to my utter ineptness at hiding my emotions, pretty much everyone (including her) noticed there was something wrong with me, and eventually word got to her best friend (also a friend of mine) that I liked her. Of course the best friend told her this, although apparently she already pretty much knew. However, neither of us seem to be willing to address that situation, I guess just because of the awkwardness of the whole thing and desire to just maintain the status quo as far as our friendship is concerned.
     
  12. MarkHastings

    MarkHastings Executive Producer

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    Vast age differences are nothing, vast maturity differences are what you've got to be cautious about.

    When I was 27 my girlfriend was 21 (yet acted 28), and her friend, who was 25, acted 16.
     
  13. Rain

    Rain Producer

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    I hope it works out for you, Stephen.

    But don't assume that being single necessarily has anything to do with you.
    ______________________________

    I have this new theory...

    I hypothesize that there are two types of people: Relationship People and Single People.

    Now here's the kicker...you don't get to pick which one you are, you just take the cards that are dealt.

    Think about it.

    We've all known people who seem to always be in some relationship. They break up and two weeks later they meet someone else, even if they have sworn they are going to take some time to be alone first.

    Then there are the singles. We are fine people, no question. We look everywhere for love, feel that we have so much to give, but things rarely work out. We may have the occasional short relationships, but they never seem to last.


    Well then, there it is. I hope that doesn't sound too depressing. [​IMG]
     
  14. Morgan Jolley

    Morgan Jolley Lead Actor

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  15. Malcolm R

    Malcolm R Executive Producer

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    Nothing wrong with being single. I love having total freedom! [​IMG]

    --Your money and your home is your own.
    --You don't have to notify someone of your whereabouts 24/7.
    --You can go where you want to, when you want to.
    --You can go places with or without whomever you want to.
    --You can have your house/apartment the way you like it.
    --No one constantly nagging you to do things you don't want to.
    --No one criticizing everything you do/buy/say.
     
  16. Chris PC

    Chris PC Producer

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    Andrew,

    Wow. That sounds less than spectacular, I agree. I will counter that I may have missed out on several chances to get together with someone, the same person, because of age. They were under 20 years old, so I do give myself credit for using some logic, but I could have made a mistake and now I may be paying for it. Can't go back in time, only learn from mistakes. So in retro-spec, I agree with MarkHastings comment about maturity vs age. That is very important.

    But Andrew...what this person knows is this:

    You like her but did not show it..did not do anything about it. No problem, don't feel guilty.

    She might think differently if you tell her outright that you have genuine feelings for her and would want to go out with her and THAT YOU WANTED TO TELL HER SO THAT SHE KNOWS FOR CERTAIN HOW YOU FEEL. Just an idea. Not asking to go run and do this right now, but I'm just wondering what you think about that. If you two are friends, all you need is a moment in private where others are not in earshot. Thats all you need. Anywhere, if there are strangers around, thats not a problem, nothing is perfect.

    So am I making sense?

    Tell me what you think about what I said about yer situation. [​IMG]

    About the "two types of people". Thats an interesting observation, but I've seen people be in relationships for a long time and then they are single for a long time too. I wouldn't catagorize people so absolutely. It may be true that some people are one of the extreme's, but that sort of information isn't really useful for people. Perhaps examining your behaviour and seeing if there is anything you think or do which causes you to end up in certain situations and looking to change for the better, that might be more effective. But who knows.
     
  17. Rob Gardiner

    Rob Gardiner Cinematographer

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    I'm with Malcolm R. Having a girlfriend is like having a babysitter. You are under constant adult supervision, with someone looking over your shoulder to approve or disapprove of everything. [​IMG]

    Stephen, my advice is to get a cat.
     
  18. Morgan Jolley

    Morgan Jolley Lead Actor

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  19. George_W_K

    George_W_K Screenwriter

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    Stephen,

    Good luck with your girl. I hope she calls or you contact her. You've gotta be somewhat aggressive or you may miss out on some of the best experiences in your life. And believe me, there are actually girls out there who don't just judge on looks or pocketbooks. I don't have the looks or the money and I had one of the greatest woman I've ever known fall in love with me. We were together for five and a half years. Unfortunately, illness took her away from me and she is living in a nursing home right now. This happened last year. She might recover, she might not. Only time will tell. But, this thread isn't about me so I'll get to the point. Be confident in yourself and try to stay positive about life in general and things will work out for you. A happy person is a lot more attractive than a mad or depressed one. And when you do have someone in your life that makes you happy, cherish every single moment you can. I wouldn't trade in any of the time I had with my girl for anything. She made me the happiest I could ever have been. Another thing, always be yourself, don't try to be someone you think a girl wants you to be. If she doesn't like you the way you are, then her loss. You'll be a lot happier.

    And for the age differences, I have to agree that the maturity factor is most important. I am 29 and could probably date that 25 year old that acts 16![​IMG]

    Hope it works out.
     
  20. RobertR

    RobertR Lead Actor

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