Directors Funny movie lines you've heard recently... (1 Viewer)

[SteveGon]

A little levity to offset the bickering that's been going on recently.

"I went to a brothel on the way to see my mistress. Try explaining THAT to your wife!"

- The Decline of the American Empire

 

[Bill McA]

"Your vagina felt good, but smelled horrible...it stunk.
Even a cat or dog might have liked it...but I am a human after all..."

-Izo

 

[SteveGon]

Note to self: add this "Izo" to my must-see list.

 

[Arman]

“Marry me, and I’ll never look at another horse,”

– A Day at the Races

 

[Steve Christou]

Maitre D': I'm suggesting that you leave before I have to get snooty.
Ferris Bueller: Snooty?
Maitre D': Snotty.
Ferris Bueller: Snotty?

Ferris: If you're not over here in fifteen minutes, you can find a new best friend.
Cameron: You've been saying that since the fifth grade.

Grace: Oh, he's very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude.
Ed Rooney: I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind.
Grace: Oh, Ed. You sounded like Dirty Harry just then.
Ed Rooney: Really? Thanks, Grace.

Ferris: Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond.

Cameron: Ferris, my father loves this car more than life itself.
Ferris: A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn't deserve such a fine automobile.
[Ferris caresses the car in admiration]
Cameron: No. No! Apparently, you don't understand!
Ferris: [ignoring Cameron] Wow.
Cameron: Ferris, he never drives it! He just rubs it with a diaper!

Ferris: Hi. Do you speak English?
Garage Attendant: Uh, what country do you think this is?

Boy in Police Station: There's someone you should talk to.
Jeannie: If you say Ferris Bueller, you lose a testicle.

Maitre D': You're Abe Froman?
Ferris: That's right. I'm Abe Froman.
Maitre D': The sausage king of Chicago?
Ferris: [brief hesitation] Yeah. That's me.

 

[Arman]

"I'm in love with a girl, and I'm going to help hang her father."

- Foreign Correspondent

 

[Artur Meinild]

Only recently a friend and I noted the following comment from Jeff Goldblum (Dr. Malcolm) in Jurassic Park:
"Oh God help us! We're in the hands of engineers!" Now this is pretty funny since I'm an engineering student!