First step towards marriage... (1 Viewer)

[LanieParker]

Holadem ~ I do have a sister! However, as somone mentioned she is the exact opposite of me! She likes her diamonds and jewelery. Sorry. lol.

I don't wear jewelery anyway, so I wasn't worried about a ring really. He asked me if I wanted something big and I told him I would rather we get simple bands and spend the rest on a great honeymoon. Our wedding cost us a whopping $500. $300 for his suit and my dress, $127 for the bands and the rest paid for the JP. We had a JP come out to my parents home and we got married in the garden. My mom bought the food (From Costco of course) to feed the guests (all 20 of them) and then we left for our honeymoon.

Simple and sweet was the way to go for us. We had an incredible honeymoon and great memories of our wedding day.

 

[Citizen87645]

 

[Holadem]

Cameron, you're way too excited about this whole wedding business.

Go have a beer or something. Anything. Just Man up!

--
H

 

[Citizen87645]

Would a pear cider work?

 

[Drew Bethel]

Congrats Alan. Just take your time and enjoy your engagement and getting to know each other better.

 

[Alan Erceg]

Thanks again for all the congrats...

It's funny Im sitting here looking at the thing now(I havent proposed technically yet as I have to speak to the parents), and when I look at it I think to myself this thing cost me about 1/5 th what my car cost me ans is about 1/10000th of the size...lol

 

[SethH]

don't get started thinking that way. I've been engaged for about 6 months now and have to stop myself quickly whenever I start thinking about the things I could have bought with that money . . . you know, an SVS (or 3 or 4 depending on the model), a new computer, or a projector, or new speakers, etc, etc, etc . . . but the truth is that none of that could ever bring me the happiness that is represented in that little ring, so it really doesn't matter. Oh, and you better start saving up a few bills for the honeymoon

 

[Jason Charlton]

The time between getting the ring and actually proposing was one of the hardest parts for me - I had spoken to the parents and had their blessing, and I had picked up the ring, but didn't propose until about 3 weeks later (had to make the necessary "arrangements").

Once I had made that decision, and purchased the ring, I REALLY wanted to share that with her right away. I suppose that's a good thing - never once did I have any second thoughts or feel nervous about it. What SethH said is right on - the things that are represented by that ring are more precious than anything else in the world. Enjoy that feeling. Best of luck, and congratulations.

-Jason

 

[RobertR]

That's me and my wife. She's immune to the whole "you must buy a diamond if you really love me" concept.

 

[Drew Bethel]

Quick question: what certification does the diamond hold?

 

[SethH]

That's an important question. My roommate recently boght a ring for his girl and he was bragging about the great price. He then proceeded to show me the "certification" which consisted of a single sheet of paper printed out by the store he bought it from that says "we certify that this diamond meets is the following grades" followed by grading for the carat, cut, clarity, and color. I haven't had the heart to tell him that there's a chance he got screwed. When I bought a ring for my girl I got a GIA cert and had it independently appraised to ensure the diamand actually went with that cert.

If I remember correctly there are two major certs for diamonds in the US. GIA certs are done by an American agency and then there's a European agency that I can't remember the initials for (I think it's EGL). Hopefully the diamond you bought has one of those two certs.

 

[Drew Bethel]

Actually Seth, the European cert is better than none but is not as picky as GIA and AGS. AGS demands much more measurements than even GIA and cut proportions must be within a tight margin to gain an AGS class. I've seen some poorly cut GIA diamonds, but at least it's documented for the buyer to see/assess. If you get an AGS-000 then you don't even need to see the diamond - you know the cut will allow for the best dispertion of light.

Hearts on Fire and Lazare diamonds also take the guess work out of purchasing a diamond - but you will pay a premium for them.

 

[Moe Maishlish]

So how long after you put that ring on her finger will she present you with your Engagement 60 inch HDTV Plasma Screen?

Moe.

 

[SethH]

Now there's a good question!!! haha But honestly, in my case at least, things come out almost even with her paying for the wedding and me for the ring and honeymoon. Our wedding is probably going to end running about $10,000 (for 300 guests with no sit-down dinner or alcohol at the reception). The ring and honeymoon combined will come out about $1000 below that probably. I like your line of thinking though, that would be nice!

 

[Alan Erceg]

Re: Certification

It is GIA certified...

Re: 60" Plasma Tv..

I wish..LOL. We will probably get a nice TV but nothing quite that large. As far as wedding costs ago we havent even gotten to that stage yet, but hopefully her dad as he did for her sister when she got married will pick up some of the tab to help us out.

 

[LanieParker]

Not to offend anyone, but what's with having parents pay for your wedding? I never understood that. I paid for my own wedding, I didn't make my parents do it.

 

[Alan Erceg]

Lanie,

I dont think its so much of her making her dad do it. It's just something he has done for her sister and said he would do for her. He did the same thing when they both graduated college, when he bought them each a car. He did that so they could pay him back directly, still learn resposibility, and not have to finance through a dealership and get hit with all kinds of interest. It's just his way of doing things. It's his way of "giving back" so to say. Her parents are very well off and have invested their money very well. If he offers to give us some money for the wedding, I will not turn it down, and I'm sure she wont either....

 

[Jason Charlton]

The traditional belief that "The bride's family pays for the wedding" is not as hard and fast a rule as it used to be, and more and more couples are financing their own weddings these days, or at least sharing in the expense. According to theKnot.com (a place I've spent quite some time at recently) the average cost of a wedding is around $20,000.

In contrast, my mom showed me her original wedding planning notebook from 1969 in which the entire wedding (black tie, 200 guests) cost less than $5000. Get this:

The catering for her 1969 sit-down dinner wedding included Fresh Fruit Supreme, Aged roast sirloin of beef au jus, mixed green salad, potatoes Anna, green beans amandine, and strawberry ice cream pie for dessert...all for $5.25 per person. Dinner, open bar, champagne and cake was $12.00 per person. That included 2 complimentary hotel rooms in the Hyatt!!!!

For the wedding that my fiancee and I are planning - $12pp will just about cover the liquor ONLY!

While my fiancee's mother has set aside money for years to finance her daughter's wedding (much of it earmarked by my fiancee's father before he died), and is covering most of the cost - we are chipping in whenever possible (invitations, deposits, etc.)

The distinction here is that no one should "make" anyone pay for anything they don't want. A wedding is a celebration - and couples and their families will do whatever they feel is necessary and appropriate to make that special day turn out just the way they want it.

-Jason

 

[SethH]

Yeah, and what's with making people give presents to people for birthdays and christmas?!?!

As others have mentioned, I don't think anyone makes the parents pay. It's something many parents do as a gift to their child. My fiancee's parents are paying for the majority of our wedding. But we're chipping in on anything "extravagant" (ie chocolate fountain). We're also being very cost-conscious by making our own invitations, not having a sit-down dinner (only heavry hors d'oerves (?)), and no liquor. Dropping the liqour and sit-down dinner drops almost $7,000 off the price for us. We're having 300 guests so liquor (at $12/person) would be $3600 and a sit-down dinner would add another $10/person to our reception costs.

 

[DonRoeber]

My wife's parents paid for my wife's dress, and all of the reception (including the DJ). My parents paid for the rehearsal dinner, the flowers, and the invitations, which they made themselves. We paid for the honeymoon, photography, and anything related to the ceremony (church, musicians).

We ended up spending twice what we wanted to on photography, but felt that it was the best decision that we made. About $3000 for photography. We saved $10/plate or so by having the wedding and reception on a Sunday, and found it cheaper to have an open bar than to have no liquor at all (would still have to pay for soda, juice etc). Strange, but true.