"You're stupid if you have this opinion..." Rant (1 Viewer)

[Mark Kalzer]

Even with a one or two beers I might not be at my best, but a random conversation that was just sparked on the bus really irked me just now. Randomly a guy turns to me while I'm chatting on my own with people I just did a film shoot with, and says something like 'You look intelligent, you watch the most intelligent show on TV Arrested Development?' I confess that I don't...another random passenger chimes in with 'The Office is better'. They start debating over my group and we kind of laugh it off...not having anything to say.

He then turns back to me "So what, you don't like TV? You're scared of TV?" I'm of course a university student and so my TV viewing is limited, and I say back 'I watch TV on DVD and just finished Buffy and Angel.' (paraphrasing) He comes back with something like "You seriously watch that stuff?" I drunkenly say "I'm a film major, and it interests me." I don't have any real good answer as to why I think it's good because I'm a little tipsy, and I really didn't feel he would even listen after his intial reaction. He seemed convinced at that point that any merit I could claim as a film major was laughable because I invoked this.

Somehow he interpreted the film major thing as a dis to him and continued to argue with me over it. I didn't want to since it was going nowhere interesting. Yet he went on both questioning me for why I 'dissed' him as well as claiming that it was I who was avoiding an intelligent debate, while at the same time admittedly laughing at the notion that I could be a film major despite not having watched much Japanese cinema. ('Ichii The Killer', his example of brilliant cinema that I am stupid for not having watched while calling myself a film major. I've only glanced at it in parts from a projection booth.)

In the end it feels he was more concerned with proving himself smarter then me then having a debate, but this kind of thinking is perverse everywhere on the internet. It annoyed me to no end on unmoderated message boards before I found more professional ones like this and others.

Does anyone else get upset with these 'I'm smarter because I don't like Buffy or X movie like you do.' arguments?

Or am I just whining?

 

[Gord Lacey]

I stopped judging people by what they watched a long time ago. I watch so many different shows that I could sit around and talk about my favorite reality shows, and then jump into a debate on which is the better medical show before launching into a rant about why British shows are so good.

You'll always find someone that thinks they know more than you, or wants to question what you do. I'd tell you to walk away, but after a few drinks I'd most likely punch the guy in the throat, break his fingers, or smash a bottle on his head, depending on how annoying he was

Gord - mean drunk

 

[Carl Miller]

You'll run into lots of these blowhards. They try to position themselves as superior to you because they're insecure and threatened by people around them. There are a couple of ways to deal with them effectively.

You can stand firm and act as if what they're saying means nothing to you. When they question you, don't defend yourself. Show the person you don't care what their opinion is and that you don't need to justify yourself to them. Ex; 'You seriously watch Buffy'? "Absolutely, it's an excellent show".

Or, you can test them and usually expose them for the blowhards they are because most of the time, they can't back up what they say...That's what makes them blowhards....Test them by turning the questions back onto them. See if they really know what they're talking about. Ask "What other Japanese films have you seen?". "How do they compare to Ichii The Killer?". "What do you find most relevant about Japanese cinema"? Nine times out of ten, if you question someone like this, you'll find they can't explain themselves.

Don't get upset with this type of person, have fun with them instead. Mess with their mind.

 

[Joseph DeMartino]

The whole incident is based on the false premise that you can "debate" matters of taste. If I like vanilla ice cream and you prefer chocolate, how can either of us "prove" our point or "convince" the other? We might be able to profitably discuss the technical merits of particular versions of those ice creams (is Edy's creamier than the store brand?) just as we can discuss the technical merits of different film and TV shows. (The acting, direction, cinematography.) But you can't argue about whether or not someone "should" like something because there is no universally accepted standard or objective criterion of what people "should" like. (And those who propose such things are fools and snobs.)

Regards,

Joe

 

[Ron C]

I don't watch tv at all. Sometimes I get a "you don't watch tv???" comment as if I'm the lowest slime on earth. Usually I'll reply back along the lines of, "yeah, I have better things to do than watch cultural trash that rots your brain". People are astounded that I would say something like that and just don't have anything to respond to it. I find the best way is just to turn it around on them. In your case just say exactly what you think and let him try to prove you wrong. You can't "prove" opinions are wrong =p Don't personally attack him (that gets no where), but indirect statements such as the one above can stop the thread pretty fast.

 

[Garrett Lundy]

Just say "I no speak english. hee-hee" giggle and hde behind a book.

It helps if your a small asian girl.

 

[Mark Kalzer]

Hey in Ottawa I could feign being a francophone and hope he isn't bilingual...however I clearly was speaking English beforehand!

 

[Garrett Lundy]

Switch tactics!

"Ichii the killer is the finest film ever made"

"I haven't seen ichii, but I have seen Passion of the Christ 23 times, did you like passion? Maybe you'd like to come to my Church, we're having a film festival! Passion, then Narnia, and Left Behind and ......."

 

[Mike Frezon]

"Do you like gladiator movies?"

 

[David Andrews]

In my experience, the question of why would you...? wrapped in a condescending attitude with derogatory language, is a reflection of the individuals need to belittle someone in an attempt to elevate them self.
A direct indication of the insecurity suffered by an individual who's own self image may be inadequate.

Your compassion is a better response than your anger, for this person is clinging by their fingernails to reality, which tends to elude them.
Life is hard on them.
Relax...you are already in a better place than they may ever find themselves.

 

[Steve Y]

People often confuse "debate" with "let's see what I can pull out of MY pocket now to show you!" They go round and round too many issues and pull out a socket wrench to debate an orange. When debate becomes a personal power struggle disguised as meaningful discourse, it loses its value.

I've often dealt with guys like this (for whatever reason they're usually male) and I can only add to what others have said: that he's insecure and wants to prove his "worth". I've found it works to agree with everything they say, though the most insecure of them will detect the withdrawl and insult you for backing down. Just realize that when they say, "you're a film major and you haven't seen it???" just respond, "Wow, I must have been living in a cave, thanks, I should check it out!" That deflates them every time.

People who are secure in their views are much more fun to talk to about cinema (or just about anything else).

Speaking of opinions... I personally think Ichii the Killer, while stylish and entertaining, is not the pinnacle of Japanese Cinema. It's sort of the eastern "Sin City" (in terms of its very intense cult following). And I liked Sin City a lot more! "Ichii" is just a very gory and hip yakuza movie. I wouldn't fault a film major for missing it. The best part of it is Tadanobu Asano's performance as the masochistic gangster.

 

[Robert_Z]

You think you're better than me?

 

[Daren Welsh]

I watch Baywatch for the cinematography.

 

[Chu Gai]

Should've thrown up on him.

 

[MichaelBA]

I have never watched BUFFY or ANGEL, but among my fellow scholars, both have sparked such intense interest as to cause them to organize academic conferences and publish essays about the programs. These respected professors, at some prominent institutions of higher learning, take the shows quite seriously.

Anyone interested in the scholarship might consider reading Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Philosophy: Fear and Trembling in Sunnydale.

[These volumes, the Popular Culture and Philosophy series, have studied other commonly popular items, including The Lord of the Ring, The Simpsons, Seinfeld, Superheroes, etc.]

 

[EugeneR]

Well, then pretending NOT to speak English when you were clearly speaking it sends the message you're not interested in speaking to the idiot even better. If you really want to drive the point home, immediately return to your conversation with your friends in English.