Handling DVD borrowers.... (1 Viewer)

[DonnyD]

Loaning out my DVDs just doesn't seem to be working out but I just don't know how to handle those who seem to believe that my collection is for their personal enjoyment.

First of all, a family moved in the neighborhood and upon visiting my home and noticing my collection, they immediately asked to borrow a dvd. They had it for several days and then went out of town and even when they came home, they still kept it for several more days before returning it. It appeared that they were embarrassed about keeping it so long and I thought I wouldn't have to face that again, but then last weekend, they borrowed another one and they still have it. To make things worse, they have children ages 4 and 2 and I've noticed they are usually the ones loading the dvds into the player.
Then my brother buys a dvd player and comes over and takes a handful of dvds home with him for a week. That isn't so bad as I know my brother takes care of things very well.... but he has some ass-itch stepkids and 2 grandchildren who respect nothing and tear up his stuff all the time. He says he keeps my dvds out of reach and put away from others getting their hands on them but I went over the other day and there they were... sitting on a table out in sight and in reach of everyone. I have already noted that 2 out of the last 4 he borrowed had light abrasions and one appeared to have a piece of food on it. I find myself worrying about this stuff too often but just don't know how to handle refusing to loan my dvds.

I'm sure this occurs to a lot of you; so... how do you handle these situations?

 

[Philip_G]

dude, you're not blockbuster. If they mistreat them refuse to loan them out any longer, problem solved.
Just be direct and explain you've had problems in the past loaning dvd's and no longer loan them out. They should understand, afterall they're YOUR dvd's.

 

[Jim_F]

Experience has taught me my philosophy about loaning items, especially DVDs, CDs, books, and vinyl albums.

I assume from the outset that the item will never, ever be returned, at least not in usable condition.

If that's OK, then I cease worrying about the item. If it's not OK, then my response to the request is a warm, understanding smile and a reply of "No.".

Pretty much the same applies to money, as well.

 

[Bruce Hedtke]

Get your points out up front. Tell them what you expect. If you don't want the kids handling the discs, be direct. If you want it returned within a certain time, be direct. Tell them that if they can't abide by your conditions, they are free to visit Blockbuster instead of your collection.

Bruce

 

[Rob Lutter]

I only loan out DVDs to two people... and these are my best friends. They treat my stuff with utter respect (we trade anime back and forth) and I have never had trouble (although they have no younger siblings). I would never let them borrow This is Spinal Tap: Criterion Collection or any of my other OOPs though
Personally, if they were mistreating my DVDs, I would cut them off. It may sound selfish, but... as noted... you ARE NOT BLOCKBUSTER. You have no obligation to give them out just because they have them... let him start his own DVD collection (that he is free to destroy).

 

[Grant B]

I have mine in a 300 disc changer.When I tell most people that, they stop right there and tell me, "dont bother".
It's not that hard to remove them (but I'll never tell that to people)

Extra benefit that is a nice freebee

 

[Nate Anderson]

My loaning out days ended when I entrusted one to fuckwit roommate. He brought it over to his friends place and it was never seen again.

Besides, I would prefer to watch it and enjoy it with my friends. When they notice a paticular title, I just say, "You'll have to come over and we'll watch that sometime." or "Do you wanna watch that one" depending if we had plans or not.

I have only one friend I still loan stuff too and that's simply because I know she respects the things I loan her and because she is fellow geek.

 

[Sean Conklin]

My DVD's do not leave my theater room. EVER!

 

[Inspector Hammer!]

Sean, such a mean face for such a nice guy!
I know this problem well! It is hard to tell these people they can't borrow them isn't it? My brother is the biggest culprit, it's not that he doesn't take care of my discs but that he keeps them for too damn long! When he borrows he'll say to me "I'll get em back to ya at the end of the week, don't worry.", that's fine, except that by his definition of "the end of the week" means that i'll get them back in about a month or so.
The problem isn't even him, it's ME! I'm the sucker for falling for it hook line and sinker everytime but I do. The only other person I loan my discs to, and it's never anymore than one at a time, is my boss and he always returns them in a day or two.
This is the way I feel about lending in general, or even letting other have access to your home theater when your not at home: nobody is going to take care of your stuff like you would. If you have a certain way of doing things with your discs or your equipment that nobody else would do, they don't have access to them period.
I fully realize that i'm not follwing my own advice, but as the initial poster stated, it's a hard situation, i'm working on it.

 

[Stevie O]

Lesson learned:

Loaned my copy of "The Limey" to a friend of my wife, it came back TWO MONTHS later with holes in the keepcase and looking like it had been used for a coaster a la the "3 Months Free AOL" disks .....

Excuse? "My dog was playing with it"

 

[ThomasC]

Thanks for the replies, guys (even though I'm not the one who started the thread ). I haven't had to lend out any of my DVDs to anyone yet, probably because I keep them in hiding. Bottom shelf of my desk (I obviously don't have that many). Now I'll know what to say when I start lending them, if ever:
"I'm NOT Blockbuster. I see any sort of damage on the case or the disc, and your borrowing days are over. OVER."

 

[Danny R]

I only loan out copies burned on DVD-RWs. If it comes back and the disk is too scratched up to be burned again, they buy me a new one, and my original is as safe as it always was.
But we can't get into more details here.

 

[Sean Conklin]

Hi John, that is my Iron Maiden smiley face, he's smiling can't you tell? Thanks for the nice words. You too are a very nice guy, and it's been a pleasure posting with you on here for the last couple of years, (Dang, has it been that long? ) Where does the time go?
Maybe I'll get rid of my Eddie smiley face. He does look mean and kinda nasty.
Yes it is hard to say no, actually before I moved from California, I would loan my DVD's to my lifelong friend, he took impeccable care with them, so I didn't worry.
However, now my theater room is in the basement and since I am new to the area attending college, I don't really know anyone that well, so I don't show off my room, and don't really have to worry about loaning my DVD's.
I have one friend I showed off my room to, and blew him away with some Eagles Hotel California DVD Audio.

 

[Sean Conklin]

I'll say one thing, my upcoming Back to the Future Trilogy will not be lent to anyone, under any circumstances!

They can borrow my VHS movies if they want.

 

[Brian Harnish]

Sean -- I echo your statement about the BTTF Trilogy. NO ONE will EVER BORROW that DVD from my collection.
However, they aren't exactly going to be able to borrow my VHS tapes. I haven't watched VHS since I got my first DVD player back on Jan. 25, 2000. Plus, most of my VHS tapes are unsorted in the garage so I can make room for more DVDs!

 

[Sean Conklin]

Brian:
Have you been depriving yourself of BTTF because of DVD?
I still watch them on VHS, what else could I do? I have to have my BTTF fix at least monthly.

 

[LawrenceZ]

What's worse? My roomate's girlfriend lent out my DVD's WITHOUT ASKING ME. It was during a party I had while I was in another room and I didn't notice until the next day. I came downstairs and saw like, five or six were were gone and my first thought was, "Shit, someone ripped me off last night." She told me she lent them to some friends of hers who I, of course, didn't know. I let her know that I don't lend my movies to ANYONE (maybe my parents) and if they want to watch anything, I'll gladly have them over, even if I've never met them. I figure it'll be better watching it at my place then on their 20" TV and Electrohome DVD player.

 

[ace peterson]

I say "Sorry, I don't loan out DVD's anymore." That usually ends it there and I can make no exceptions to anyone, not even my own dad who lives a few miles from me. If I make an exception, then everyone expects the same. I follow by saying, "You're welcome to come over anytime and watch it in the theater!" I do enjoy having people over for a movie. I just can't loan them out.

Ace

 

[DonnyD]

It is sad that even though you make the standard comments.....no scratches, no messed up keepcase, back soon..... and then you realize a month later, it must have fallen on deft ears. People who usually take care of their own stuff still do not respect something they did not pay for.
At the risk of sounding like an asshole, I am just gonna stop lending ANYTHING out...

 

[Cees Alons]

I learned that lesson long ago (with books). So I started to refuse to loan them out. Later, I made a printed note, saying "Books cannot be lent". It sort of made the practice less personal than if I had to refuse it on request. I even hardly ever had to point to the note: people noticed it themselves. I made no exception ever.

So now I did the same with my videos and DVDs, and I can heartily recommend it: just make a clear note and put it up next to your collection. Life will be easier.

Cees