New Year Cancelled

Discussion in 'Archived Threads 2001-2004' started by Eric_L, Dec 31, 2002.

  1. Eric_L

    Eric_L Screenwriter

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    After finishing their extensive year-end review, officials from the NYSE, Dow Jones and S+P500 recently concluded that 2002 did not go as planned. Following considerable debate, they have decided to cancel the new year. "We'll call it a do-over" replied Markus Down from Dow Jones.

    Nationally businesses are expected to save millions on paper costs as 2002 forms stay in circulation. Mutual Funds will have the opportunity to shore up their performance numbers for 2002. Automakers will also save considerable sums as 2002 models are recirculated yet again. "This could be just what the economy needs!" said Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan.

    Of course, there is a downside, as household earnings will accumulate for 24 months rather than the customary 12. A record number of taxpayers will go up to the next highest tax bracket. Congressional spenders, of course, are elated. 'Finally, a way to increase taxes without any debate! We can both increase spending and balance the budget!' is the official word from anonymous congressional leaders.

    Not everyone is pleased to hear about the change. Most noteworthy is Gary Larsen, author of 'The Far Side'. "Everyone already owns a 2002 Far Side Calendar, how can I make any money this year?" he complained. Joining him are astrologists and everyone born in 1982. "Does this mean I have to wait another whole year before I can buy beer?" asks Chuck Alug, a Texas A+M student.

    At the end of the second 2002 these same officials will review the year, again. If this time they are more please with the results they are expected to announce the year 2003.

    "Just think of the fireworks show we can have then, when we have 24 months of 2002 to celebrate leaving behind! Of course, by then, it will feel more like 36 months." exclaimed Markus Down.

    -AP
     
  2. MatthewA

    MatthewA Lead Actor

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    Very funny. Where'd you get it.
     
  3. Kevin P

    Kevin P Screenwriter

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    Pretty funny... of course with my luck they'll cancel 2003 since 2002 was such a waste of a year for me. I'm hoping 2003 is better! [​IMG]
     
  4. Scott L

    Scott L Producer

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  5. Clinton McClure

    Clinton McClure Casual Enthusiast
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  6. Eric_L

    Eric_L Screenwriter

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    I would love to tell you I am the author of that, oh, wait! I AM the authour of that. my silly. In my biz things get a little slow at the end of the year. This is what an idle mind comes up with....
     
  7. Lee Scoggins

    Lee Scoggins Producer

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    I think there is a big silver lining:
    Low Interest Rates
    Do you know that the two year note closed at its lowest rate ever?
    Things will return. Life is still good! [​IMG]
     
  8. Holadem

    Holadem Lead Actor

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    The concept of cancelling the year is some of the funniest stuff I have ever read. Thanks for that post Eric, it made me a real smartass at a New Year Eve party! Of course, I couldn't tell them I ripped it off some dude online [​IMG]
    --
    Holadem
     

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