Eric_L
Senior HTF Member
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2002
- Messages
- 2,013
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- Eric
After finishing their extensive year-end review, officials from the NYSE, Dow Jones and S+P500 recently concluded that 2002 did not go as planned. Following considerable debate, they have decided to cancel the new year. "We'll call it a do-over" replied Markus Down from Dow Jones.
Nationally businesses are expected to save millions on paper costs as 2002 forms stay in circulation. Mutual Funds will have the opportunity to shore up their performance numbers for 2002. Automakers will also save considerable sums as 2002 models are recirculated yet again. "This could be just what the economy needs!" said Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan.
Of course, there is a downside, as household earnings will accumulate for 24 months rather than the customary 12. A record number of taxpayers will go up to the next highest tax bracket. Congressional spenders, of course, are elated. 'Finally, a way to increase taxes without any debate! We can both increase spending and balance the budget!' is the official word from anonymous congressional leaders.
Not everyone is pleased to hear about the change. Most noteworthy is Gary Larsen, author of 'The Far Side'. "Everyone already owns a 2002 Far Side Calendar, how can I make any money this year?" he complained. Joining him are astrologists and everyone born in 1982. "Does this mean I have to wait another whole year before I can buy beer?" asks Chuck Alug, a Texas A+M student.
At the end of the second 2002 these same officials will review the year, again. If this time they are more please with the results they are expected to announce the year 2003.
"Just think of the fireworks show we can have then, when we have 24 months of 2002 to celebrate leaving behind! Of course, by then, it will feel more like 36 months." exclaimed Markus Down.
-AP
Nationally businesses are expected to save millions on paper costs as 2002 forms stay in circulation. Mutual Funds will have the opportunity to shore up their performance numbers for 2002. Automakers will also save considerable sums as 2002 models are recirculated yet again. "This could be just what the economy needs!" said Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan.
Of course, there is a downside, as household earnings will accumulate for 24 months rather than the customary 12. A record number of taxpayers will go up to the next highest tax bracket. Congressional spenders, of course, are elated. 'Finally, a way to increase taxes without any debate! We can both increase spending and balance the budget!' is the official word from anonymous congressional leaders.
Not everyone is pleased to hear about the change. Most noteworthy is Gary Larsen, author of 'The Far Side'. "Everyone already owns a 2002 Far Side Calendar, how can I make any money this year?" he complained. Joining him are astrologists and everyone born in 1982. "Does this mean I have to wait another whole year before I can buy beer?" asks Chuck Alug, a Texas A+M student.
At the end of the second 2002 these same officials will review the year, again. If this time they are more please with the results they are expected to announce the year 2003.
"Just think of the fireworks show we can have then, when we have 24 months of 2002 to celebrate leaving behind! Of course, by then, it will feel more like 36 months." exclaimed Markus Down.
-AP
