Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard (2021)

[Malcolm R]

Title: Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard (2021)

Tagline: The Hitman, His Wife, and Her Bodyguard

Genre: Action, Comedy, Thriller

Director: Patrick Hughes

Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson, Salma Hayek, Antonio Banderas, Morgan Freeman, Frank Grillo, Richard E. Grant, Blake Ritson, Gabriella Wright, Tomi May, Kateryna Globa, Giulio Berruti, Kristofer Kamiyasu, Bern Collaço, Radhesh Aria, Max Kraus, Nathan Cooper

Release: 2021-06-10

Runtime: 116

Plot: The world’s most lethal odd couple – bodyguard Michael Bryce and hitman Darius Kincaid – are back on another life-threatening mission. Still unlicensed and under scrutiny, Bryce is forced into action by Darius's even more volatile wife, the infamous international con artist Sonia Kincaid. As Bryce is driven over the edge by his two most dangerous protectees, the trio get in over their heads in a global plot and soon find that they are all that stand between Europe and a vengeful and powerful madman.

Kind of looking forward to this sequel. Loved the first film, but thought the weakest parts were the scenes with the wife. Not sure if I'll enjoy a film where she's even more central.

 

[Jeffrey D]

I saw the trailer for this a while back, and it looks to be good. The first film was a blast.
By the way- this film and the Peter Rabbit film are both coming out on Thursday. Strange that films on non-holiday Summer weekends are now coming out on a Thursday.

 

[Greg Krewet]

I believe that opening on Thursday films are restricted to evening performances only in most cases.

 

[Malcolm R]

It may be a carrot to try and get theaters to expand their hours, as those around here seemed to only be open on Fri-Sun so far. One near me that was just doing the weekends has now expanded their hours to include Thursdays.

 

[Jeff Adkins]

I believe that opening on Thursday films are restricted to evening performances only in most cases.

True, but for this film (and Peter Rabbit 2), showings start Wednesday evening.

 

[Robert Crawford]

This movie is getting terrible reviews. I might go see it at a theater complex that I have gift cards for, there is little reason to spend good money that's not already spent on it.

 

[Jeffrey D]

This movie is getting terrible reviews. I might go see it at a theater complex that I have gift cards for, there is little reason to spend good money that's not already spent on it.

6.5 rating at IMDB. One reviewer posted that the film tried hard- always a fault of substandard sequels.

 

[Robert Crawford]

6.5 rating at IMDB. One reviewer posted that the film tried hard- always a fault of substandard sequels.

A perfect Monday morning movie with a less crowded movie theater.

 

[Colin Jacobson]

This movie is getting terrible reviews. I might go see it at a theater complex that I have gift cards for, there is little reason to spend good money that's not already spent on it.

27% critics at RT - but 78% audience!

 

[Jeffrey D]

27% critics at RT - but 78% audience!

Interesting gap between the critics and the audience. I take this to mean the film is loud, has a joke every minute, and tries really hard to impress.

 

[Colin Jacobson]

Interesting gap between the critics and the audience. I take this to mean the film is loud, has a joke every minute, and tries really hard to impress.

Pretty much.

It's a movie that basically feels too unsure of itself to ever give the audience a pause. It's just bam bam bam bam bam for two hours, without niceties like character development or plot.

Oh, there is a "plot", albeit one that doesn't make a lick of sense - and that oddly attempts to get us to buy Antonio Banderas as a Greek, even though he does nothing to simulate a Greek accent. He does wear a large wig of silver hair, which appears to be shorthand for "Greek tycoon" at the movies.

Oh, the movie pretends to offer character arcs. Bryce attempts to deal with the trauma of the first movie's events and reclaim his status as a AAA-rated bodyguard, while Darius and Sonia aspire to have a baby. Nevermind that Salma Hayek is almost 55 years old - who cares about biological limitations in a wacky movie like this?

Boy, does "Wife" push the envelope of that "who cares?" factor. It pursues any thread it can find if it believes hilarity or action will result.

Actually, I think the filmmakers really hoped that we'd get so carried away by the talents of the actors that we wouldn't notice what a mess the movie was - and occasionally, this happens. No one involved breaks a sweat, but with Hayek, Banderas, Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson and Morgan Freeman in tow, the movie can't help but generate some entertainment value.

Still, it's an inherently lazy movie that does little more than package a slew of action flick cliches into one place without any thought about how they fit or whether any of it makes sense. Crud, even the title doesn't make sense, as Bryce never actually acts as Sonia's bodyguard.

I guess some will excuse the idiocy because "Wife" does sort of attempt to parody the genre. It clearly knows that it lives in a fantasy world, one where Bryce can be hit full-speed by a car, fly over the roof, smash into the pavement and yet get up no worse for wear. It basically embraces all the action silliness that "The Other Guys" mocked, and it understands that.

Still, the movie doesn't self-mock enough to overcome the stupidity, and the utter absence of a coherent plot doesn't help. Basically we get "bad guy wants to stage mass casualty event" and that's about it. Everything just exists to allow the leads to romp around Europe and cause a lot of mayhem.

The first movie wasn't good but it mustered enough ridiculous action to be watchable, and even with all these flaws, I felt the same about the sequel. Objectively it's a terrible movie, but it's a terrible movie that kinda keeps the viewer with it.

I just wish the filmmakers would've tried a little bit harder to make a quality film instead of this lazy mess. It feels like someone wrote the screenplay over a semi-drunken weekend and they never bothered to do any touch-up work on it.

 

[Colin Jacobson]

Also - spoilerized for your protection:

Spoiler

The movie utterly wastes Morgan Freeman as Bryce's stepdad - and doesn't even make sense there.

Why is the Reynolds character named after his stepdad? Does that ever happen? Why not just make him adopted?

Why does Michael Sr. call his son "Bryce"? That's his name too!

Why does Michael Jr. have an American accent even though he apparently grew up in Tuscany?

The movie casts Freeman for the "Black dude has white son" gag and some name value...

 

[benbess]

Thanks, Colin, for helping to save me from that mess of a movie! I was on the fence, but no more.

 

[Jeffrey D]

Thanks Colin for your candid thoughts. Like most sequels, this one apparently isn’t as good as the first film (I had a ball watching the first film).

 

[Malcolm R]

Films panned by critics are often fun movies. That would seem to be the case here given the spread between critics and the audience.

 

[Colin Jacobson]

Films panned by critics are often fun movies. That would seem to be the case here given the spread between critics and the audience.

There seems to be a notion that critics hate "fun movies" and only like serious dramas about the angst of human existence.

Critics like tons of "fun movies", but they tend to prefer those that have some semblance of quality involved.

That ain't "Wife".

As I mentioned in my notes, it's a watchable movie despite its multiple flaws. It moves so fast that it never suffers from the worst sin that can befall an action movie: boredom.

But man, is it lazy and sloppy.

At least the first movie came with a semblance of a plot and some character arcs. This one's just "let's blow up a lot of stuff!!!"

 

[Patrick Sun]

It's an instantly forgettable film.

 

[SamT]

Oh man this movie was so unbelievably bad. Not once I chuckled at anything. Wasn't fun, wasn't even eye candy, nothing. Also I suppose it didn't help that I watched the extended edition. The extra blood violence was very off putting. Don't know if it also existes in the theatrical cut or they added them to the extended cut.

 

[Jim517]

This movie sucked big time !! I liked the first one though.

 

[sleroi]

Maybe it was low expectations based on the comments here, but I had a blast with this movie.

I thought Salma Hayeks character was written lazy in the first film, but she stole the movie this time around. Instead of just dropping generic F-bombs she was way more creative and hilarious.
The flashback to Bryces moms death had me worried that the movie had lost momentum, but within a beat Hayek steps in and saves the scene with her own ridiculous tale.

Sure there were a few minor lapses in logic, like interpol blindly handing the threesome a ton of money and setting them free, or the three of them on the rooftop in plain view of a triple A security team. But the three leads were so much fun, the scenery beautiful, and the action so ridiculous that I didnt mind.

And, sure, Banderas didnt come off as Greek, but he did come off perfectly as an over the top Bond villain.

Not quite as good as the first film for me, but it was still very enjoyable and I can see myself re watching this.