Ever regretted not telling someone how you felt? (1 Viewer)

[StephenA]

I have. There was this girl named Gina that I had a crush on in the 7th grade. I liked how she scrunched up her nose when she giggled and the way she giggled, and all this other stuff. For Valentine's Day that year she gave me a flower. That made me feel real good, but with being shy and stuff I really didn't say much. As the years went on through junior high ab=nd high school, she became more and more beautiful, at least to me.

In high school she was in a couple of my classes and in my lunch. I still was afraid to ask her out or tell her how I felt. I ended up finding out she had a boyfriend. In a class called Life Skills we had to do a a paper on what we looked for in a significant other. Of course she had to be in the class. I felt like putting her but didn't. I put what I look for, including similar interests and stuff. The teacher was gonna read my paper in front of the class and asked if she could. I felt embarrassed and said no. Then Gina said "Come on let her read it, we won't make fun", and of course I got really embarrassed and probably turned red.

That year our class graduated, and I still hadn't really talked to her. Four years later I kick myself for not taking the initiative to talk to her and at least become friends with her. Now I have no idea where she went. I don't think of her often, and all of this other unhealthy stuff, but sometimes I wonder how she's doing and why I didn't be more sociable with her in school. Such is life I guess.

 

[Rain]

Nope, because I told him how I felt.

Of course, we still aren't together, but what can you do?

I've said it before and I'll say it again: It's always better to do something than nothing.

 

[NickSo]

Always
There's this one girl at school, she's two years younger than me. She's the kind of girl that makes your insides go all mushy at the thought of her. She's not only cute, but smart and intelligent, funny and witty. Just the whole package (well through the eyes of the infatuated :p)). Being the pessisimistic low-self-esteem teenager, I can see she's WAY out of my league. But still, she's just so *sigh*
Well, we're kinda like 'acquaintences', we know each other just by like first name basis, and thats it. Im friends with her friend, but me and her never really talked. Im too wussy to :b
There was this one chance a couple weeks ago at my friends birthday party, and she was invited too. Well, we were at the bowling alley waiting for people to arrive, and since my friend was outside arranging lanes and caling people, she was left alone (she doesnt know my other friends very well, she's the only grade 9 my group of grade 11s). So she's standing there, all alone, kinda 'bored'. We had just watched SPIDERMAN earlier, and that would've been the PERFECT conversation topic at the time. But ARGH, i just couldnt get the courage to talk to her :frowning:
I have one school year left to make a move. Since im taking Bio12 in summer school, im gonna have a spare block. I know class she's gonna take, and I'll probably take that too (Yearbook Publication).
God I'm so shy ...

 

[Rain]

Nick,
I've told you this before, bud, but you've got to force yourself to take the initiative. This will accomplish two things:
1. You'll feel better, even if you are rejected, for having tried.
2. You'll get used to it and you will become less and less shy about doing that kind of thing in future.
Trust me. I'm old. I know stuff.

 

[Joe Tilley]

Stephen, I know just what you mean,but you just gotta say what the hell. I was always shy about everything around someone I liked & I would always go home mad at myself for not speaking up at times I should have. I've come to realize that the worst that can happen is they will say no,but you got to remember or at least thing theirs a bigger chance of them saying yes if you just ask.

Ya cant whate for life for your life to happen in front of you you got to chase after it & make it what you wont.

 

[Luc D]

Regret stays with you longer than rejection does. It hurts more too.

Unfortunately, I seem to be incapable of taking my own advice. I'm in the same boat as you, Stephen.

 

[Brian Kleinke]

Trust me. I'm old. I know stuff.

Rain is Right, if you don't you'll kick your self and say "what if"... trust me I still kick my self... eventually I overcame that, and now I'm getting Married
Brian

 

[Mike_G]

Stephen:
http://www.classmates.com
Maybe it will help. I got my high school reunion done with it.
Four years after graduation? Unless she married at 18, you might still have a chance.
Note: I am not affiliated with classmates, I just reached a lot of people with it.
Mike

 

[Tim Hoover]

I've been in the same boat with the only girl I truly loved. To make matters worse, I only did a half-assed job of telling her how I felt and then I moved to Dallas for a year to work a contract job. I ran into her a few years back, and she looked as tremendous as ever. Sadly, her new fiance was with her.

Remembering this now is just as painful as when it actually happened, but you have to move on, right? Last I heard she was still married and expecting a baby. I hope that her family can give her all the happiness and satisfaction she deserves, and I look forward to experiencing that kind of joy myself someday...

 

[Mike_G]

I think that we're talking about how we feel about people when we're younger. When I was 15, I had no idea what to say. I just hope that I can instill some confidence into my kids so that they don't make the same mistakes I did.

Mike

 

[AviTevet]

Nope... I've always told people important to me how I felt about them. It's the people who aren't important to me who get nothin' . You can live by Weezer:
If you need it, you should show it,
cuz you might play so monastic that you blow it.
=W=

 

[brentl]

Regrets, I have a few, but then again too few to mention.
2 actually, but they are long sob stories:frowning:
Brent

 

[Jeff Ulmer]

Stephen, I'd suggest you try to get in touch with her and at least air your feelings. She may be in a relationship, or may be married, but at least you'll have said your peace. If you approach it from the perspective of "I was going through our yearbook the other day, and when we were in school I had a crush on you but never said anything" it doesn't put her in a position where she needs to get defensive, since you aren't approaching her about the here and now. She'll either think it's sweet and that's the end of it, or maybe she felt the same way too and something can develop either way it shouldn't hurt.

Of course, I would never follow my own advice, and now things are much more complicated than when I was your age with all the landmines that need to be hurtled to get into a successful relationship.

 

[Kevin T]

there's the old phrase:

"the worst she can say is 'no'."

however, i've found that:

"jesus christ! get away from me you f*&king freak!"

is way worse than "no"

kevin t

 

[Bruce Hedtke]

I can see she's WAY out of my league

NEVER go around thinking that. Looks can be intimidating, but if you let them keep you from approaching someone or feeling that you're not up to their standards, then you'll be missing out on alot of opportunities. Though he/she may be as beautiful as sin and seem as cool and as confident as hell, inside they're still human, they still get nervous, they still get bored, they still get unglued...i.e., just like you and I. Sure, there are women/men out there who are beautiful and "know it" and are high maintainence, but the overwhelming majority are just blessed with beauty. Inside, they are approachable and talkative and interested in "normal" people-not just the other "beautiful" people. I've dated women that I thought were "way out of my league". I don't fancy myself as anything special. I just told myself that looks are looks and they can't replace real qualities like charm, smarts, humor and conversation.

Bruce

 

[David Susilo]

I never told her that I loved her 12 years ago. And I love her still. How do I feel right now? like $#1t.

Some people claims that somethings are better left unsaid. Well, don't listen to them.

 

[Richard Travale]

I can see she's WAY out of my league

Nick, hasn't John Hughes taught you anything???
Of course, I too am really bad for not taking the plunge.

 

[Jed M]

I saw this title and I thought, this is gonna be painful. Now that I realize it is more or less puppy love its not so bad. I think regret is a natural part of life, the key is to move on and not let it eat you up. In college during finals one of my high school friend's mom died. I had not kept in touch all that well over the two years but I still saw him during the summer and holidays. She had cancer for about 5 years so I knew it was coming. Long story short, I did not call and I did not send a card. I just kept putting it off because I didn't know when was too soon for me too call and then it just got weird. I saw him three weeks later and I apologized but I have always known that was too little too late. The moral of this story is to turn regret, which is inevitable unless you never make mistakes, into learning experiences. I am now the champ when it comes to sending cards or calling on birthdays or calling certain occasions, even to fringe friends. In fact, the first thing I do when I come to HTF is check the birthdays in case I see one of you posting that day. Like Rain says, he is old he knows stuff. Sadly though, usually the best way of learning is by screwing it up to begin with. Regret is simply missing an opportunity. The unfortunate thing about it is for some sick reason we all seem destined to ignore all advice and find out for ourselves. Accepting rejection sucks and it never feels good, but after living long enough I know its better than not trying.
I also agree with Kevin, that is worse than no.

 

[Neil Joseph]

Yup...

I had a crush on a girl for a couple of years in England. Didn't have the guts to tell her, then I moved abroad and my friend over there told her. Then I find out that she says I should have told her because she would have gone out with me.

 

[Julian Reville]

Oh, boy, do I ever. And Stephen, I thought that was very brave of you to post that.

I just wasted an hour online, doing searches on old flames. One I actually found something on (she's married to an astronaut), the rest nada. Too much time has gone by. Oh well.