Dying on a budget - Shop at Costco and Show Someone You Care

Discussion in 'After Hours Lounge (Off Topic)' started by Chu Gai, Aug 19, 2004.

  1. Chu Gai

    Chu Gai Lead Actor

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  2. John Garcia

    John Garcia Executive Producer

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    Ummmmmm....yeah. Just in case you need to pick up a few caskets with your paper towels.
     
  3. Cameron Yee

    Cameron Yee Executive Producer
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    I'm looking forward to when they offer something for those of us who prefer cremation [​IMG]
     
  4. Joe Szott

    Joe Szott Screenwriter

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    Unless these caskets have speakers in them, you might have posted in the wrong forum [​IMG]
     
  5. Maneesh

    Maneesh Stunt Coordinator

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    I've heard that caskets make *excellent* cabinets for speakers. Something to do with reaching across dimensions and into alternate universes.

    Truly an out of this world sound [​IMG]
     
  6. Thomas Newton

    Thomas Newton Screenwriter

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    There was one guy offering coffin furniture.

    The idea was that you'd use the coffin as part of a coffee table (coffin table?) or a bookcase while you were alive. Then when you died, your survivors would use the coffin part of the furniture for burying you.

    I believe he was promoting it as a way to get some use out of the coffin before you died, but to me it just seemed kind of morbid.
     
  7. MatthewA

    MatthewA Lead Actor

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    These could work if you want to do a Halloween show.
     
  8. Chris

    Chris Lead Actor

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    Eh, I always worry about people who plant themselves in these hermetically sealed torpedos.. what, are you just thinking that it'll stop you from decomposing? Give me a plain pine box, $200. In fact, I state it often so people know in case I die: any coffin that costs more then $300 is an utter waste, and wrapping me up in a garbage bag and throwing me in a ditch is pretty fair too. (what do I care, I'm not there anymore)
     
  9. Francois Caron

    Francois Caron Cinematographer

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    Penn & Teller's Bovine Manure (just trying to be polite [​IMG] ) did a piece not that long ago about the funeral industry. If there ever was a business that preyed heavily on the weak and vulnerable, this has to be it!

    Costco's move to sell discount caskets is a decent one. The mourning family can get a decent box for their dearly departed without blowing the entire inheritance. They can then get the cooperation of the local church for the services, leaving the funeral parlor with the lonely task of ONLY prepping and delivering the body in its "final package".

    BTW, by law funeral homes can no longer refuse to receive or charge a handling fee for a casket purchased elsewhere. Also, avoid the sealed gasket coffins unless you like the idea of your body creating a massive and messy explosion inside the mausoleum! Yecch! [​IMG]
     
  10. Chris

    Chris Lead Actor

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    I know. I hear these commercials saying "the average funeral costs are over $10,000" and I thought: "what a holy crock"

    So, I called the church I went to as a kid, who would have a funeral mass at no cost for parishoners outside of "gratuity" (basically, they ask you to "donate" an amount equal to the cost of running the church for an hour and a half, or about $125 or so, though people are free to give more) and a pine box casket can be done for $190.

    Embalming, and prep (figuring a closed box funeral) is about $400. So, $400+$200+$150. The biggest cost is the plot, which is about $900. So, $1,650. A whole lot better then $10,000! Plus, the advantage of being buried in a simple pine box is that I know I'd decompose quick, and it's open, hard to seal nature would guarantee I'd be good bug food.. which means I'd probably have better grass grow on my grave, which would be a lot nicer then some of these dirt/terrible looking graves. I mean, if nothing else, you've got to figure you'd be great fertilizer.
     
  11. Ted Lee

    Ted Lee Lead Actor

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    death is big business and i refuse to buy into it. my family has spent *tens of thousands* of dollars in funeral expenses. i know my grandfather alone was almost 20k.

    but, i've made it very clear to my wife that she is not to spend a penny more then necessary to get rid of me. no expensive funeral, no fancy ceremony, no flower arrangments...nothing!

    hell, if they can toss me out with the trash...so be it.
     
  12. Thomas Newton

    Thomas Newton Screenwriter

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    Especially if you have a grudge against the person who'd be doing it.

    "Honest officer! He said that he wanted me to place his corpse in a garbage bag, and throw it in a ditch!" [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]
     
  13. MarkHastings

    MarkHastings Executive Producer

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    Does Costco sell guns too? What a great way to clear out the checkout lines when the place is busy...

    Imagine walking up to the checkout counter and your carriage is filled with a shotgun, a casket, a shovel, a box of white gloves, and a 'hurried' look on your face. [​IMG]
     
  14. Jason Adams

    Jason Adams Supporting Actor

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    Don't they already sell coffins like this in Europe?
     
  15. NickSo

    NickSo Producer

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    [​IMG]
     
  16. MatthewA

    MatthewA Lead Actor

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    Mark, may I make that a signature?
     
  17. Robert_Gaither

    Robert_Gaither Screenwriter

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    Don't forget the ski mask, you don't want someone to recognize you![​IMG]
     
  18. Jason Harbaugh

    Jason Harbaugh Cinematographer

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    See that's why Costco needs "Self" checkout counters. I swear all those do it yourself checkout lines should be called the "don't ask, don't tell" lines. [​IMG]
     
  19. MarkHastings

    MarkHastings Executive Producer

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    Go for it [​IMG]
     

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