Confucious say.... (1 Viewer)

[Jeffrey Noel]

man who run behind car get exhausted!
Others???

 

[Steve Christou]

Man who kisses girl's behind, gets crack in face.

Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.

Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have shitty time.

Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent.

Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.

Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.

Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient.

Girl who sit on Judge's lap get honourable discharge.

 

[James St]

These are great. I heard the Bangkok one and this one.

baseball wrong: man with 4 balls CAN'T walk

 

[Colin Dunn]

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Man who lay woman on ground have piece on earth.

Woman who fly upside down have hairy crack up.

Man who lose key to girlfriend's apartment get no new key.

It takes many nails to build a crib, but only one screw to fill it.

 

[Colin Dunn]

Man who stand on toilet high on pot.

Man who keeps hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Man who spend day in cathouse, spend night in doghouse.

Man who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.

Man who jump through screen door, strain self.

He who eats too many prunes, sit on toilet many moons.

Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jump for Joy.

Woman who rides bicycle pedal @$$ all over town.

Passionate kiss, like spider web, lead to undoing of fly.

Girl who sit on jockey's lap, get hot tip.

Foolish man give wife grand piano; wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who fish in another man's well often catch crabs.

Man who pull out too fast, leave rubber behind!!!

Virginity like balloon. One prick, all gone!

 

[Colin Dunn]

Woman who cooks carrots and peas in same pot most unsanitary.

Woman who dance while wearing jockstrap have make-believe ballroom.

Baby conceived in back seat of car with automatic transmission grow up to be shiftless bastard.

 

[Jeffrey Noel]

Holy shit guys! I'm laughing my ass off!
Here's another:
Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger!
Keep'em coming!

 

[Colin Dunn]

He who eat cookie in bed have crummy night.

He who live in glass house, dress in basement!

Couple on 7-day honeymoon make all week.

He who throw dirt is losing ground.

People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses.

Man who lay woman on side of hill not on level.

Man who sink into woman's arms, soon have arms in woman's sink.

 

[Darren Davis]

As sort of a follow-up to the original one:

Man who run in front of car get tired.