We're trying to have a baby too (1 Viewer)

[Chad Isaacs]

My wife and I miscarried early this year and she would give anything to have a baby. We have been trying alot ( not in the spirit of Election but close) and we just have had no luck.

Are there any herbs that would make either she or I more potent/ fertile or any sure fire things out side of visiting a fertility doc?

Thanks!

 

[LDfan]

Get one of those ovulation kits from the pharmacy. A female only has a 48 hour window period per month where they can get pregnant. Also slow down on the everyday thing too You are probably thinning your count too low.

Jeff

 

[Chad Isaacs]

But....but...thats no fun

 

[Chris Hovanic]

Chad

We experienced a miss carriage before our first was born. It sure was tough, esp. going to the doc office and seeing the 15 year old about to give birth with no one there to help her.

We waited to try again for a while. The wife really did not wnat to be 7 months preg in the summer. It put our schedule off about a year but it was well worth it.

My advice is to relax and have fun. Dont make it work... It will happen.

Also once we got pregnant the second time we did not tell anyone untill the first 3 months were up. Telling everyone about the miss carriage was the hardest part.

Good luck and have fun

 

[Andrew Pratt]

Chad we've been there as well having lost our first one. It was by far the most difficult time of our lives and makes our daughter all more precious. Loosing your first is far more common then people generally believe but once it happens its amazing how many people will come out and tell you about their story. The good news is that the second time is typically far more successful as was the case with us and our friends that went though it also.

There's a great website that helps you figure out exactly when in your wifes cycle you need to "have some fun". It'll mean keeping track of her cycle in some detail but you're likely doing that already. No two women are the same with their cycles and many are pretty erradic post child birth so it might not be as straight forward as someone who's cycle is like clockwork. Hang in there though it will happen for you guys

 

[Citizen87645]

Having a fair number of female friends in college I learned this sad truth kind of early. My friends would tell me about their sisters or friends who miscarried. Post-college I'm aware of a couple of those friends who themselves had miscarriages and then my own sister had one.

Best of luck to you. I know it will be great joy when you have a new addition to your family!

 

[Dave Poehlman]

Eat healthy and excercise. It worked for my wife and me.



We had been trying for quite a while (even a few trips to the fertility specialist!

) when she decided she wanted to stop trying so hard and also go on a diet. Being the good husband I went on a diet-by-proxy (not that I didn't need it!).

We ate low-fat, more organic stuff, whole grain breads, less red meat, and went for long, brisk walks in the evening.



** Chad, I'm not suggesting you're out of shape or don't eat healthy... it's just what worked for us.

Good luck!

 

[Peter Burtch]

Jeff Remer wrote:

quote:A female only has a 48 hour window period per month where they can get pregnant.

Tell my wife that

. You are technically incorrect, since there would be a lot less unwanted teen pregnancies if it were accurate.



http://my.webmd.com/hw/health_guide_atoz/tn9614.asp



-Pedro

 

[Todd Hochard]

My wife and I tried for our daughter for 17 months. What worked?



She needed to relax. She's one of those high-strung people, that carries the weight of other people's problems on her back. Within three weeks of her quitting her job to take a temporary assignment with me in Maine, she was pregnant.

 

[Leila Dougan]

How long have you been trying? After a year of trying, most docs will start on an infertility workup. I should know, because I have infertility. But I am now pregnant!



Has your wife had any problems with her cycles (either really short or really long)? This would indicate ovulation problems, usually lack-thereof, and thus she won't get pregnant easily.



Here are my recommendations:



1) Buy the book Taking Charge of Your Fertiliy by Toni Weschler. Is is the absolute best book on fertility, how to prevent pregnancy and alternatively, how to achieve pregnancy.



2) Use the methods in the book to chart. She'll chart her basal temperature and cervical fluid to determine when she is fertile and when she is not. This, combined with her temperature, will help confirm when ovulation takes place. Using Ovulation Predictor Kits are helpful too, but not always accurate with some conditions (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, is one). Using several methods at once will help increase your chances of knowing when/if ovulation occurs.



Charting will also uncover other difficult to diagnose disorders, such as Luteal Phase Defect, which is suprisingly common. When she sees a doc, have her bring the last few months of charts and that will help immensely! Otherwise, doctors start prescribing drugs without knowing exactly what is wrong. There are drugs and herbs she can take to correct some commone problems, but without knowing what the problem is, she'd just be shooting in the dark.



Infertility can be her unable to actually conceive, which can be due to annovluation, blocked tubes, low sperm count, etc. The other problem can be keeping the pregnancy after conception occurs, which can be due to Luteal Phase Defect, certain blood disorders, low pregesterone, etc. In this case she'd be losing the pregnancy very early on and never know she was actually pregnant. Unfortunatley that was what was happening to me

Make sure you're timing intercourse so that you have it every other day for the week preceding ovulation, including the day of and day after ovulation.



So, I say try the charting, the OPKs and timed intercourse. Generally you want to do this for a few months so you develop a "history". Then, go see a doc and show them the charts. My doctor will see patients for an infertility workup if they've been charting for 6 months, otherwise it's just a year of unprotected sex.



Good luck and remember it's not either of your guy's fault. People tend to say a lot of insensitive things, such as "just relax, it'll happen" or "just don't think about it". Blah, when you have an actual medical problem, all this well-intentioned advice just hurts. No amount of "relaxing" will fix whatever is wrong. Of course it's hard to not blame yourself, but know that technology has advanced a great deal, if you need it, but that a lot of the common problems can be resolved fairly easily.

 

[SethH]

quote:Tell my wife that . You are technically incorrect, since there would be a lot less unwanted teen pregnancies if it were accurate.

I may be wrong . . . but I'm pretty sure he was actually correct about this. The reason, however, that it's not common knowledge is because the sperm can live inside a woman for 1-2 weeks. My understanding is that sex any time 1-2 weeks before ovulation can cause pregnancy, but the pregnancy does not actually begin until ovulation. Thus, the closer to ovulation you have sex, the more sperm will be around when ovulation occurs, therefore improving your odds of pregnancy. (Many couples use this method as 'natural birth control.' Monitoring the cycle and using a condom before ovulation and nothing after. It can be effective if done properly).

 

[Leila Dougan]

Seth, you are right.



Once the egg is released by the ovary, it really only sticks around for roughly 24 hours. They say 48 because it can be a little longer, but 24 is more like it. However, sperm can live inside the woman for up to a week, so intercourse before ovulation can still result in pregnancy. For best results, however, you want to time intercourse with ovulation so the sperm don't just sit around and start dying in the mean time.

 

[Kevin Hewell]

Wear boxers if you aren't already. That could help with sperm count.

 

[Citizen87645]

Congrats to you and your hubby!

 

[Leila Dougan]

Thank you, Cameron. I really appreciate it, it means a lot since it took us a long time trying.

 

[Jeff Gatie]

My sister claims that eating yams or sweet potatoes increases female fertility. But watch out, her theory comes from personal experience; she ate a lot of yams during the holidays 9 years ago and ended up with a set of twins. Fraternal twins, so her theory may be correct.

 

[Peter Burtch]

Hi Seth/Leila-



We're basically arguing over semantics

. When I responded to the '48 hour window' remark I was trying to convey that it sort of implies that any intercourse outside of that time frame will not result in pregnancy (which we know is not true). Take a peek at the reference list of the webmd article I gave above too for more interesting tidbits.



Leila> Congrats on your pregnancy too. My wife & I are looking forward to child #2 hopefully soon

.



Jeff> I'm keeping the wife away from all yams & sweet potatoes for the next few months to avoid overpopulating my home .



cheers,

P

 

[Doug Miller]

First thing I'd kick in is also "Switch to boxers." My wife and I tried for about a year, she used a calendar through a website called ivillage.com that she got a lot of interesting diet and timing info from (although their calendar was a little off ). I had a low count caused by a vein blockage that's pretty common -- the boxers helped that quite a bit, along with holding out for the "good days". Just remember that it only takes one to get past the goalie.



Best of luck,

Doug

 

[Chad Isaacs]

Hey guys, thanks for all of the advice. Sorry I have not posted recently. We have been very busy( get your mind out of the gutters) My wife was feeling very ill and was suffering symptoms of appendicits. Well, after 2 visits to the hospital, a few cat scans, several gallons of barium and lots of blood they came to the conclusion that she has cysts on her ovaries.



Not really sure what the next step is just yet, keep us in your thoughts and prayers and I will keep everyone posted.

 

[Leila Dougan]

Chad, you and your wife are in my prayers. Since I have polycystic ovary syndrome, I frequently get a lot of cysts on my ovaries as well. This syndrome, which it sounds like your wife may have, but not necessarily, needs to be taken care of. It can lead to many other terrible things such as diabetes, heart disease, and high blood pressure.



I'd advise her to see a reproductive endocrinologist and get a thorough evaluation. I'm 24 and nearly diabetic since I've had this syndrome since I was 12 or so, but only recently diagnosed and treated. Things are much better now, but it's very important to get the proper treatment. PCOS also frequently causes miscarriages, so that's another reason to get it treated.



If she gets diagnosed with PCOS, please have her jump online and visit us at www.soulcysters.net. We are a very supportive bunch of women who all understand about this syndrome, infertility, and pregnancy loss.