Exhaustion..... (1 Viewer)

Just a rant post…

We have a blended family with 4 kids, ages 13 (son, soon to be 14), 14 (daughter, soon to be 15), 18 (son, senior in HS), and 22 (son, senior in college, lives at home). I was married for 19 years before losing my wife to an aneurysm in February of 2007. My wife was married for 17 years before her husband cheated and they divorced. We met in May of 2008, and were married in December of 2008, and will be celebrating our 6th anniversary this Saturday.

We are leaving Thursday on our annual anniversary getaway to a cabin in the mountains of Tennessee. And boy do we need it bad!!!

Now, our blended family has been nothing short of amazing. Our kids (mine are the 14 year old girl and 22 year old boy) have always gotten along amazingly and we have ZERO step-family drama. My wife and I are crazy about each other and are each others best friend. But, the sheer volume of activities, laundry, and just general exhaustion generated by having 4 kids is overwhelming at times.

My wife and I both work full-time jobs, and our kids are very active. Our youngest son plays football from August till October, then he is on the wrestling team from November through February. Our daughter was accepted into a college entry program this year (at 14!) where she goes to our local state college in the morning for freshman-level college classes (for which she gets dual HS credits), and then goes to her HS after lunch. Luckily, the school provides transportation between the college and HS. By the time she graduates HS, she will have completed at least 2 years of college. She is one of only 30 kids in our metro area that was accepted into the program. This is the 10th year of the program, and so far 100% of the graduates have received full scholarships after graduation to colleges such as Stanford, UCLA, and Duke (she wants to attend UCLA). However, the college program requires a commitment to several community activities during the semester which we have to ensure she attends. Our 18-year old son is on the HS basketball team and is getting ready to join the Air Force Reserves in January, will go to basic next summer in Texas, then will return and start college in the Fall (as a reservist, they will pay for a significant portion of his college education, in return for one weekend a month and one month each summer for 6 years). His goal is to be in Air Force Intelligence/Security, and ultimately join the FBI or DEA after college. Our oldest son is a senior in college, majoring in Graphic Design, and will graduate in May of next year.

December has brought about the perfect storm of activities. We have 2 wrestling matches each week to attend (one during the week, then one ALL-DAY tournament on Saturdays), 2 basketball games during the week, my daughters birthday is the 20th, and my oldest son is moving to an apartment on January 2nd. Add in Christmas, our anniversary trip to TN, our jobs, running a household, etc, and we are seemingly on the go endlessly. My wife looked at the calendar after Thanksgiving and we have 3 nights during December where we don’t have something going on.

To quote Lili von Shtupp in Blazing Saddles…..I’m tired! But blessed

It definitely seems to be the way many modern folks lead their lives. I try to take it a bit more relaxed =)

Well, kudos to you and your wife for all the effort you put into things. I can only imagine how much work it is to keep up with the goings-on of 4 kids (one of the main reasons my wife and I stopped after two... lol).

Our twins are only 6, so we can still "look forward" to weekends full of shuttling from one event to another, but I know my wife and I are (for the moment) much on the same page in not feeling the need to push either of our boys into overextending themselves.

In your case, I can see it's largely just the fact that 4 kids means 4 times the activities (or 3 since one's in college), so it's a whole different ball game for you, so to speak.

When I grew up, I had scouting as my "one thing". Sure - there were occasional diversions that came up but were never huge time sinks. Naturally, we can't know for sure what interests our kids will have, and no doubt we'll want to support them in following their interests - whatever they may be.

Enjoy your reward for all the hard work and sacrifice you and your wife have made - if that means 48 hours of sleep, so be it!

Cheers to you!

Jason Charlton said:

Well, kudos to you and your wife for all the effort you put into things. I can only imagine how much work it is to keep up with the goings-on of 4 kids (one of the main reasons my wife and I stopped after two... lol).

Our twins are only 6, so we can still "look forward" to weekends full of shuttling from one event to another, but I know my wife and I are (for the moment) much on the same page in not feeling the need to push either of our boys into overextending themselves.

In your case, I can see it's largely just the fact that 4 kids means 4 times the activities (or 3 since one's in college), so it's a whole different ball game for you, so to speak.

When I grew up, I had scouting as my "one thing". Sure - there were occasional diversions that came up but were never huge time sinks. Naturally, we can't know for sure what interests our kids will have, and no doubt we'll want to support them in following their interests - whatever they may be.

Enjoy your reward for all the hard work and sacrifice you and your wife have made - if that means 48 hours of sleep, so be it!

Cheers to you!

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My wife and I joke that in our previous married lives we stopped at 2 children because we did not want 3....and ended up with 4! As for the 48 hours of sleep this weekend....we joke about that too. We have plans for a great romantic weekend....but will probably be dead asleep at 9pm on Thursday night!

Thanks for the comments.

Alex:

Be sure to enjoy the weekend at the cabin. Enjoy the quietness and the leisurely pace (and make sure there's nothing rushed about the time there!).

And be sure to enjoy each other! That's one of the blessings that comes with an empty nest and grandparenthood. Much more time to re-connect as husband/wife. A fella in your shoes needs to take those opportunities when they present themselves (weekends like these). It's good that you both plan for these things.

Happy anniversary!

Mike Frezon said:

Alex:Be sure to enjoy the weekend at the cabin. Enjoy the quietness and the leisurely pace (and make sure there's nothing rushed about the time there!). And be sure to enjoy each other! That's one of the blessings that comes with an empty nest and grandparenthood. Much more time to re-connect as husband/wife. A fella in your shoes needs to take those opportunities when they present themselves (weekends like these). It's good that you both plan for these things.Happy anniversary!

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Thanks Mike. Because things get so crazy hectic, we make sure to take one of these long weekends away QUARTERLY! We started with just our anniversary the first year, then it gradually moved to 2, 3, and now 4 times a year. We call it our "belated courtship" time since we didn't have those "just the two of us" years we had the first go round.And our cabin time is anything but hectic, we take it very easy and just enjoy each others company.

Serenity now!!!