How to tell people you won't lend out your DVDs to them (1 Viewer)

Okay guys, i have read other threads about this topic and realize that most of you will absolutely not let anyone under any circumstances borrow any of your dvds. Point taken. However, what is the best way to tell a family member that you won't lend your movies to them? Some of my family and my in-laws think im the freakin' Blockbuster down the street. I have invested a lot of money into my dvd collection (~250 movies,a small amount compared to other people) as most home theater enthusiasts have. At one point before i got smart and told people that i would not let them borrow any movies, i had almost 20 movies out and i lost track of exatly how many movies and who had them. I'll never let myself do that again, but at times i have a soft heart and consider letting people watch my movies. Oh, btw, I know i could invite my family members over to watch a movie, but there are times i want to have a night with just the wife.

[DVD Nazi] NO DVD'S FOR YOU!! [/DVD Nazi]

Seriously, just tell them you're not a Blockbuster.

Im with Rick, although I also add a OOP clause. Absolutely no OOP disks leave my apartment. I do have one aunt who I would not lend to but she does not live close by anyhow. If you trust all your family then I don't see a problem. But saying one family member can and one cannot could lead to a problem.

"I am sorry, [mother/father/aunt/uncle/son/daughter], but I really don't feel comfortable lending my DVDs to others. Would you like to come over sometime in the near future and watch this movie with me, though?"

If necessary, be a little more forceful:

"Look, I paid for these damn things with my own damn money and I'm not a Blockbuster outlet. Buy or rent the disc yourself, goddammit."

A useful tactic, when announcing bad news, is switching from the active voice to the passive voice. Instead of saying...

The DVDs are not allowed to leave the house.

The difference is subtle, but I think psychologically, people react more favorably to the 2nd statement.

Click to expand...

Click to expand...

I don't know man, for me blood is thicker than water (or money.) If my family trashed my HDTV, speakers, DVDs by accident, it's just stuff and they are still family.

But I guess you gotta look after your own, so maybe a signout sheet would work? I did that with CDs in college, you could borrow what you liked but had to leave a post it with the date and CDs taken. Just explain to your family/friends what you said here: that you cannot track 20-30 DVDs that people have and you never know when you'll want to watch one (or loan it to someone else.) If they're not willing to leave a post it, then they don't really want to see the movie...

Or you can just borrow something from them and keep it until your DVDs come back. Put Uncle Bill's chainsaw in your garage until your Band of Brothers set reappears. Somehow that always makes folks more thoughtful

I loan them to one person and all DVDs ae inspected before I hand them to him and as soon as theyre handed back. We actually joke about it.

I wouldnt have a problem loaning to family. No one asks to borrow mine, but if they did I would say "Sorry I used to loan them and they would come back in bad condition. I dont loan them anymore."

Download DVD Profiler.

Each disc has a "status", that's how I keep track of mine. You just change the status to "On Loan to _____".

I only loan to my father. I have had too many problems loaning to friends/coworkers.

I've had a couple of bad experiences with lending albums, books, etc. I try to avoid lending and never borrow anymore (a quick scan of my bookshelf revealed a paperback that's been in my possession for about 20 years)

I have a great compromise now, though. I loan them my backup copy.

I keep mine in a 300 changer and they are a real pain to take out. Plus I keep the covers in a box so noone knows what I have unless I show them the master list.

I agree with JonZ.

Just make up a story like this:

"I'm sorry, I used to loan them out. But one time one came back scratched and the cover was ripped. Ever since then I've not been able to let them out of the house (keep it light and smile)."

If they are persistant, and you end up deciding to let them borrow, now atleast they know you are concerned about how others treat your DVDs.

I have one friend I lend them to and also my parents. However, if it is an OOP, I would not let it out of the house. Otherwise, no big deal as long as it is treated with reasonable care.

I don't loan out either, except to a close friend or two who are DVD nuts like myself and have their own large collections, and who I know I can trust.

Once loaned my Pulp Fiction SE to a friend who wasn't really into the DVD/HT thing. He dropped it and smashed the living hell out of the corner (cardboard). He offered to replace it, but he had done things for me in the past, so I let it slip.

Now I just say the same as above, "I've had problems in the past, so they don't leave the apartment."

To answer the original question, here's a short answer you can memorize: "No."

I loan mine out. As mentioned it's a 20$ (tops) disc
if someone wanted to borrow a boxset like band of brothers I'd think twice.

I lent my mother in law the Friend season 1.

i got it returned 3 weeks later missing the first disc.
And she cant find it anymore.
She no longer is able to borrow my DVD's and I dont see me saying "hey mom in law come over and watch a movie" oh no way.....lol


on th eother hand. Ive got a friend whos paralized from the neck down. Actually he can only move his eyes. His family takes care of him, and they have a list of my DVD's (i update them every month or so)

He's borrowed at least 20 and every one has come back perfect.

i lend out my dvds only to friends that i trust. most of the time, i ask for a 'trade'. when i lent out my straw dogs criterion, i took two dvds from my friend, even though i had seen one of them, i just wanted to have some sort of collateral, just in case. i usually dont lend out box sets or oop discs either.

CJ