Engagement Rings....

Discussion in 'After Hours Lounge (Off Topic)' started by Alan Erceg, Jan 11, 2004.

  1. Alan Erceg

    Alan Erceg Stunt Coordinator

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    Yes...I feel Its gonna be that time soon, when I finally pop the question to my g/f of 2 1/2 years...

    I know nothing about rings, not a damn thing...

    Can anyone give me any pointers on what to look for so I dont get taken...

    I'm looking in the 1,500-2,000 range. If it is more than that I would have to finance...and I would rather not do that at this point in time..


    I would be most appreciative of any help or ideas...

    Thanks
    Alan
     
  2. Ryan Wishton

    Ryan Wishton Screenwriter

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    Edit...
     
  3. Ryan Wishton

    Ryan Wishton Screenwriter

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    Here is what I always say... If you cant afford the ring, you shouldnt be getting married... So, do not splurge on an over priced ring you cant afford... If someone really loves you, they will wear a piece of cauliflower on their finger before expecting both of you to rocket to the poor house...

    It's not tradition, but I think it's better if you let the woman pick out her ring... I have known several woman who take the ring and have it changed anyways which costs even more money... Everyone has different tastes... If you want to surprise her (if she has no idea of this), then I guess your out of luck when it comes to that... Hopefully, you have some idea of her taste and you can come up with a good one... One thing I dont suggest... Dont let your mother or another woman pick out the ring unless they have the same taste as your girlfriend somewhat... I have seen some really power hungry mothers in the past who want to take charge of the whole situation...

    I would sooner buy a ring from the Home Shopping Network before I would go into debt over one... [​IMG]

    The best thing you can do is to do your research... Beware of Jewelers switching the stone, etc... How can you be really sure they are on the up and up??? The hell if I know... You are always taking a risk no matter how careful you think you are when it comes to jewelry... Some of it believe it or not is just luck...

    Do your research... Ask questions... Ask experienced others for advice (which you seem to be trying to do) which is good and just hope for the best... Good Luck in finding the right ring for you and good luck in the eventual marriage...

    Here is another tip for the future... Many, many woman will have the ring appraised... So, if they ask you about it, in most situations its best to be honest about it... For example, dont lie and say you paid $10,000 for something you really paid $2,000 for... If they catch this, they will have doubts about others things... They will think if you lied to me about this, then how am I suppose to know what you are telling the truth about...
     
  4. Grant B

    Grant B Producer

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    I would stay away from malls and find a dealer that deals direct.
    While a woman would love a perfect diamond, it'll be tiny...size does matter to a woman and a Rock will talk. She won't pull out her magnifying glass and say "it's flawed"

    Presentation is a big thing. I basically smuggled my wife's ring into Paris; if I declared it she would have known at the airport. I took her to a famous restaurant
    http://www.flobrasseries.com/coupoleparis/
    that she always wanted to go to and she still talks about it 10 years later.
    Good Luck and try not to shake!
     
  5. Ryan Wishton

    Ryan Wishton Screenwriter

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    Great tip about the Mall... Just like many other items at the Mall, you are getting taken...

    I would also suggest avoiding places such as Jarreds... It's a ripoff...
     
  6. Alan Erceg

    Alan Erceg Stunt Coordinator

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    Thanks for the replies guys...

    The price I set is the price I can reasonably afford at this point and time within my budget. I have car payemt, Insurance, School Loans and all that crap to pay off yet, hence why I dont want to oversepend or Finance and get into debt...

    I thought of the Idea of having her pick out the ring, and I still might do that, but If not I think I have a pretty good idea of what she would like. Also Im not worried about her expecting some 10,000 ring, she is not that kind of person, and we both know what each other can afford without being broke...

    I kind of knew about avoiding the mall if at all possible...like I said i just dont know much about jewlery stores so I was wondering what places I should be looking at..


    if anyone has more suggestions keep em coming..
     
  7. Ricardo C

    Ricardo C Producer

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    Yikes.

    You'd think they'd be happy with what the ring represents, regardless of what it cost.
     
  8. Keith Mickunas

    Keith Mickunas Cinematographer

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    It needs to be insured, so at some point she's going to find out.
     
  9. Steve_Tk

    Steve_Tk Cinematographer

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    Well, I've never bought an engagement ring, but I have bought a lot of jewelry for girlfriends. I've found the best way is go in the store when you are just 'out shopping' and let them look, trust me, they always point out what they like. Then while already in the store we would just cruise by the engagement rings section. I never once had even a slight thought in my mind about buying one with those women, but, it was a good idea to look. It always worked because they pointed out what they liked, and better, what they hated. And it was casual, just looking because we were already there and it was fun. So even though they were all duds I knew exactly what shape of the stone and how they wanted it set.

    If you want the surprise then that works. Plus it gives you a good idea for birthday because they point out other stuff they like. All around it's a good practice. But like others have said, stay away from malls. At least when shopping in the mall you can get the idea what they like and then go to a real retailer, not Zales.
     
  10. John_Berger

    John_Berger Cinematographer

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    Have we as a society become so shallow that the cost of purchasing a rock is now the primary method of showing love?

    * sigh *

    I'm sorry, Alan. [​IMG] This has always been a pet peeve of mine. Every time I hear a diamond commercial I want to scream because they always have some ridiculously shallow statement like "Prove that you love her with a big honkin' diamond." Yeah, whatever. You can cheat on her, get drunk every night, ignore her, abuse her - but, man, if you buy a $25,000 diamond you are just proving to the world how much you really love her. How insulting.

    And it certainly doesn't say much about the woman who is on the receiving end.

    As far as I'm concerned, staying faithful and honest is always more valuable than the cost of a rock on the finger.
     
  11. Johnny Mo

    Johnny Mo Agent

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    This may sound like an odd approach, but since you will be insuring the ring anyway (you should). Ask your insurance company to recommend someone. My wife's mother had lost a ring years ago, and the guy that the insurance company sent to replace the ring has been our "private" jeweler ever since. They may be able to recommend a wholesaler, which will also help you to get a better ring for the price you have budgetted. Every touch point for gemstones adds a fee, so the closer you get to the front of the line the less "incidental" cost you'll incur.

    Good Luck!
     
  12. Alan Erceg

    Alan Erceg Stunt Coordinator

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    John I understand what you are saying. I just set that as my initial price range as to what I could afford when buying one...

    Like I said the girl that I am buying for doesnt expect me or even necessarily want me to spend a whole crap load of money on a ring...

    The range that I used earlier is what "I" could afford comfortably...
     
  13. John_Berger

    John_Berger Cinematographer

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    Well, now that I've gotten my rant out of the way...

    Go to www.diamonds.com and click on Education. They explain the four primary characteristcs of a diamond. It's acutally well written and quite informative.
     
  14. DanMarquardt

    DanMarquardt Agent

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    1) learn the four C's. everything is based off of those.

    2) buy the biggest rock you can afford. they "shrink" on a girl's finger as the years get longer. you can say it's materialistic... so is the need for a big tv and a decent sub. nothing is better than the gleam a woman gets in her eye when showing off her engagement ring.

    3) when you are ready to buy something: check the internet for similiar stones and see what they cost. bluenile.com and it's equals. I've known many guys who buy the rock online and get it mounted locally. you can save a lot of money that way.

    4) if you are going to skimp on anything, skimp on color. oils, dirt and such will limit the sparkle on a daily basis anyway... I personally wouldn't get anything below a carat but that's just me.

    5) go to a diamond merchant. or a whoesaler in your area. they handle this stuff all the time and will be ble to walk you through it. it's not rocket science or anything... but it's fun to see the actual difference between colors and sizes and cuts and such.

    6) ask around. other guys in your area have done the smae thing. ask for places to avoid and people to talk to.

    7) avoid the mall. unless your mall has a tiffany's. that'd be ok.

    I personally was able to buy from a family jeweler friend, so I got mine at cost. but the pricing at blue nile is pretty damn good. if you know exactly what you want it ain't so bad.
     
  15. John_Berger

    John_Berger Cinematographer

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    Agreed for numerous reasons. They have a tendency to target the younger crowd and usually are diversified as such. More often than not, their higher-ticket items are usually for the more casual, money-to-burn shoppers that care more about image than real quality. You'll almost definitely have better luck and service at a separate store that has been around for many, many years and focuses solely towards a more adult client base.
     
  16. Alan Erceg

    Alan Erceg Stunt Coordinator

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    Haha....I think im still considered the younger crowd...

    I'm not a teenager...but still young...lol
     
  17. John_Berger

    John_Berger Cinematographer

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    As was I when I proposed. In fact, I was just barely out of my teens and she was still barely in her teens. [​IMG] (EDIT: By that I mean she was still in her very LATE teens!! [​IMG] ) But this is still something that if you're going to do it, you need to do it right. You're definitely on the right track.
     
  18. Alan Erceg

    Alan Erceg Stunt Coordinator

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    Yeah...She is 22, and I am about to turn 21...We have already sat down to talk about future things, and money situtaions since we both have school loans, car payments etc...

    I dont want to rush into anything...but I feel the time will be right in the very near future...
     
  19. Ryan Wishton

    Ryan Wishton Screenwriter

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    Lots of people getting married young... I know a girl who is 19 and planning to get married... Problem is shes the flaky type who thinks it's going to be all flowers and candy, shopping and love... She is into those reality shows like Ryan and Tristas wedding... She thinks the wedding is going to be like that... Not with no money it isnt... lol...

    Seriously though... It just depends on the person... Some people are just made for each other... Maturity plays a big factor as well... Some are ready to get married at 18... Some arent ready at 40... Some people in their 20's are better planners than people in their 50's... Basically, just use your best judgement... Planning things out before jumping into something is a great thing to do...

    I think I would personally never even consider marriage until I was done with college, was on a career path, had some money in the bank, owned my own house, etc... I want to be set up first... Being set up is just much more important to me than marriage at this point... I would actually probably put off marriage till my early 30's personally... I also want kids, but this is something else I would not do until I was set up and in my early 30's... Another reason is that I have been surrounded by divorce and that just about every older person I know has said getting married very young was a horrible mistake...


    As far as Alan... You seem to be on the right track with all of this... You are both talking things over and planning out things first... That is an excellent thing to do... You both seem to love each other from what I have read and you both seem to be thinking realistically... So, I say you are both definately on the right track... Good luck to you both...
     
  20. Leila Dougan

    Leila Dougan Screenwriter

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    Ryan Wishton's got the best advice. My husband (then boyfriend) didn't know my style but didn't think it would be traditional enough to ask me or take me shopping. So, he had his mother pick it out and I really don't care for it at all. It's just not my style one bit. He knew but, and it's a long story, but never got to change it out. So here I am, been married nearly 2 years and everyday I look at my ring and get disappointed. Not because the diamond is too small because it's not and not because it didn't cost much because it did. Only because it's not my style. . ie it's yellow gold and not platinum and the setting is too high. Call me shallow if you wish but I assure you I'm not. I just want my ring to match my style and all my other jewelry. We've already discussed it and I'll get a new ring, eventually. He knows he should have asked me first and got it right the first time and I'm not upset about it or anything. I love my husband and I love what the ring represents so for right now it's okay. But for the one piece of jewelry I will wear for the rest of my life, I want to really like it.
     

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