Engagement Rings.... (1 Viewer)

[Ryan Wishton]

I think you read the statement wrong... I dont mean running out and having the money to buy some huge whopper of a diamond for kicks... What I mean is that someone without a pot to pee in shouldnt be getting married... I truly believe that... Like it or not, people need money to live... Contrary to popular belief, most people cant live off just love... Thats why money problems are a huge cause of divorce...

For example, my cousin proposed to a girl, but needed to get the money from his parents for the ring... He couldnt even afford a small ring... The point is if you dont have the money for even a small ring, that means you probably dont have the money for important things such as rent and utilities... Not a great way to start off a marriage...

Leila Dougan,

Dont feel bad or shallow about it... Most people (men and women) want something they actually like, especially something such as their ring... Look how some on here go on and on about their home theaters... It's just natural... Some people may not say this, but you can be sure that if a woman is wearing a ring she never really liked to begin with, she is going to be thinking about it... Some woman would never say they hated their ring even if they did, but you can tell just by the looks on their face if they like it or not...

I figure if the ring is going to be bought anyways, it might as well be the something she likes... She has to wear it... Sure, it is suppose to symbolize love, etc., but there is nothing wrong with liking the style either...

Take the mother and future wife example... The ring should be representing of the future wifes tastes, personality, and likes... This ring is going to be a part of the wife, not the mothers... If the mother feels the need to pick out a ring, she can pick out one for herself...

 

[ChrisMatson]

Good advice so far. Don't rush it.

My story:

We had been dating for two years and talked about marriage for more than half of that time.

I did research on diamonds on the internet and looked in a few shops.

I brought my girlfriend into a few shops to see what she liked. It turned out that she loved the emerald cut (rectangular) diamonds. Unfortunately, these are one the least "brilliannt" or sparkly cuts. The flat top also allows you to see inside the diamond quite easily, exposing any flaws. I knew I would need a high quality stone in terms of cut, color and clarity.

Next was the setting. She like platinum and she liked a few small diamonds in the setting.

I shopped around and went with a local shop that was a direct diamond importer. I picked the center stone and went with a setting that she actually tried on. I found a similar ring online at a better price than the shop was offering, and they matched it with no problems plus had 0% financing for 6 months. I contacted my insurance company, the store faxed a copy of the appraisal, and the ring was insured before it left the store.

I called her parents and explained that we had been discussing marriage (they knew this for some time) and that I wanted to ask her. They both gave me their blessings.

I surprised her by taking her to dinner at one of the places we went the night we met and then proposed at home in private. Some people like to do it in public, but we are more reserved and I wanted to make it private.

If you feel that you are both ready, go for it!

For the cynics, yes diamonds may be over-priced materialistic symbols, but they are now a tradition--most women expect them and most men expect to have to buy them.

Here is a close approximation of the ring I got:

 

[Robert_Gaither]

Buy either the LOTR Risk or Monopoly and give her the ring from that (tell her you got her the ring of "power" and all other are pale compared to it, tell her you're giving her the world and all of middle earth with it. ), then take her to a jewelery store and have her pick the wedding ring thus she gets life ring of higher quality vs two lesser rings.

 

[Eric Samonte]

Good thing I'm from a country that doesn't "mandate" giving engagement rings. Though the catch is, while females in this country pay for the wedding, in the Philippines, the boy usually does. So, my wife still bugs me about it but I intend to give her one this April on our 10th anniversary. How much do u guys think a 2 1/2 carat whopper is these days?

 

[Doug:Li]

I guess im lucky. My wife and I paid less than $40 with engravings for a couple of silver wedding bands. We decided to use the money for a nice 2 week honeymoon in London. I don't understand all this 'ring' stuff and have to agree with the post above about the diamond ads. It seems like a scam to make men feel guilty and makes all women out to be materialistic.

 

[DonRoeber]

I proposed to my wife in May 2002. Neither of us wanted to spend a whole lot of money on a ring, so we shopped around. After talking with my mother-in-law, she gave me her engagement ring from her first marriage (to my wife's father). With her permission, I had a jeweler remove the diamond, and place it into another setting. With the jewelers help, I designed the setting myself. It's her diamond in the center, with two teardrop shaped sapphires on either side of it. The ring wasn't expensive at all, especially since I already had the diamond. I think I paid $400 for the ring, sapphires and the labor. I'll get a jewel set into the original ring at a later date.

Presentation is king, in my opinion. My wife collects My Little Ponies. I found one that was a bridal pony, still in the box from 1985 or something. It came with a plastic engagement ring. I opened the box, made a small incision into the blister packaging to replace the engament ring, and resealed the whole thing. My wife had to stare at the package for a long time, because she was sure that My Little Ponies didn't come with diamond engagment rings! I took her to Baltimore for her birthday, and the pony and trip was her birthday present. The ring was not a birthday present (don't try to give a ring as a replacement for a present. It could work out poorly).

I've also got a really neat story about an exploding jewelry store, but that's for another time.


Here is a picture of the ring and the pony.

 

[Chas_T]

Eric,

Mega bucks for a stone that size, depending on what you might consider a large purchase. Looking on the bluenile web site, there was a signature cut diamond with a 2.59 carat size, F color, VS2 color at 32K.

I recently went through this exercise on a pair of diamond studs for my GF and it was quite the experience. It was probably one of the most difficult purchases I ever made as diamonds (a controlled market) are contingent upon your eyes, a certified report and the big question always is, am I getting ripped off? You can touch, listen and feel a piece of audio equipment, a car, etc. Diamonds are well, diamonds.

Do you purchase at the Mall, on the net, from a friend of a friend, take a drive to NYC to the jewelers there? It took me a few months to make this small purchase after lots of research.

As the others have stated, education is essential. Personally, I prefer quality over size/quantity. My GF's sister just received a 1.75 carat enguagement ring for Xmas and although it's a decent stone, it's cloudy and does not shimmer and sparkle as I think a diamond should. The stones I bought for my GF are not as large, but they sparkle even when light ambiance is minimal. Personal decision dependent upon what is right for you.

I am not a jewelry person myself, but understand that it's a lifetime purchase that can be passed on from generation to generation, so I approached it from that viewpoint. Also, as others have noted, you can take the money and budget it somewhere else in your life. Stone size does not guarantee a healthy, loving, long term relationship between a couple.

Anyway, I am rambling here. Try these two sites to get a feel for the price of a stone that size. One is a site where you can purchase online and the other is a forum perhaps for education.

http://www.bluenile.com

http://www.diamondtalk.com/

Much Luck,
Charles

 

[JustinCleveland]

Hell, I got one from K-Mart during a 70% off sale. An 800 dollar ring for a buck fifty. Is it the best ring in the world? No, but it works, and that's what I care about. Glad you found love, but remember, money conflicts are the impetus of a lot of divorces, so don't put yourself into debt buying some gaudy piece of jewelry. The emotion matters, the rest is showcasing.

Or maybe I'm just lucky to have gotten a woman who isn't superconcious of looking gaudily-rich.

 

[Vince Maskeeper]

Did you feel uncomfortable buying platinum? I have several friends who work in hosptial/EMT environments who have told horror stories about platinum (in emergencies like burns where swelling dictates cutting off rings, the platinum can easily be cut by what emergency or avg hospital emergency rooms have).

I wondered if such concerns are overly paranoid? I would have never thought about it, except literally 5-6 DIFFERENT people have mentioned horro stories related to emergency situations where the rings could not be cut off.

-Vince

 

[DonRoeber]

Vince,
I've talked to some EMT type people recently about this. Apparently their equipment has been upgraded, so they can now handle platinum.

This is probably the sort of thing that happened once or twice, and has blown up into urban legend status.

 

[Garrett Lundy]

The Ring itself: No more pure than 14k.

Purest gold is 24k of course, and the lower the number, the less pure it is. Normally this is a bad thing except GOLD BENDS EASY. 14k is gold diluted with other metals and becomes much harder to bend or warp. This will become important the umpteenth time a 24k gold ring gets caught in a drawer (and it will) and gets horribly bent. Then you have to pay a jewler to reshape it! (Not huge $$$, but an expense non-the-less).

On top of that, your shiny diamond will quickly accumulate its share of scratches, or even cracks (!!) and eventually become less valuable over the years.

Then there is the issue of whether or not your particular diamond was helping fund international civil war and the slave trade in Africa...



Happy Hunting!

PS: Get a emerald.

 

[Brett_H]

Vince,



So I guess my titanium band makes me SOL? Ti's harder than gold or platinum, right?

-Brett.

 

[Jacinto]

I don't know why, but I just cringe at the thought of taking your girlfriend shopping for her own engagement ring.

I designed my wife's ring myself, and had it custom made by a local, private jeweler. I pushed one of her existing rings into some clay, and let the jeweler size the ring based on the impression. I was well aware of my her taste and her sense of practicality (she would have hated a big mounting because it would get caught on things all the time), and designed accordingly. With the diamond, I went for a touch of symbolism, and picked a trillion cut to represent the trinity of marriage: God, husband, and wife. Unbeknownst to me at the time, that cut also has a rather large top surface area for the carat size (it's only a .97 carat stone, but looks like a 2.5 carat princess or round), and is fairly shallow, so it fit the practical criteria as well. I walked into the jeweler's with my drawings and clay imprint in hand, and went over the details with the jeweler. A week later, I went back to pick from the suitable stones that he had shipped in, and the ring was finished two weeks after that. Since he made the ring, the jeweler gave me a documented appraisal to take with me when I picked it up. It's an absolute one-of-a-kind (just like her), and my wife still gets at least a couple of comments on her ring from complete strangers every month.

Since the engagement ring is nothing more than a heartfelt gesture of your intentions, the key is not the amount you might spend on it, but rather the amount of care and personal touches you put into both the ring itself and the actual presentation of it.

 

[Philip Hamm]

That budget won't go far at Tiffany's.:frowning:

All great advice here.

Keep in mind, your wife will wear this ring every day for the rest of her life. An engagement ring is a practical piece of jewelry. Something huge or with an awkward setting will catch on stuff. Gloves, pockets, clothes, etc. Remember that.

There's a diamond forum somewhere on the internet, do some searching on google, it's worth finding.

Shopping with her is a very good idea. Even if you go under the pretense of browsing. So she may know what you have in mind, so what! If you're considering proposing she should know you have that in mind anyway.

 

[Vince Maskeeper]

Not sure. Probably though.

I'm wondering, for those that go with Titanium, Platinum or "White Gold" - what the appeal is versus Silver? If I understand it correctly, all these things are more expensive than silver, yet to my eyes seem to look similar.

This is, or course, not in ref to engagement rings specifically- but these types of rings in general. I have always found gold to be tacky looking (both for me, and on women)-- and so it seemed the more "Silver" look is nicer- but I have never understood (and to be fair, never did much research) the appeal of "Siler-like" substances that were just more expensive.

Is there a stigma attached with Silver, that it seems like you spent too little?

 

[Marc_Sulinski]

Actually, color has nothing to do with how the diamond sparkles. That is determined mostly by cut quality. The color rating is how "white" the diamond is. The whiter it is, the more expensive. You need to be concerned about color if you are getting a white gold or platinum setting. If the color is not good enough, the diamond will look yellow compared to the setting. For yellow gold, this is less of an issue.

If you do plan on surprising her, you should at least find out the shape (round, princess, pear, etc) that your girlfriend prefers. If you get her the right shape, she will likely not care as much about the other aspects of the diamond, like clarity, color, etc.

Another thing that most mall stores will not tell you about is the cut quality. They will tell you the symmetry and polish, but this is not the cut quality. You should also be concerned with the proportions of the cut. You should find out the cut proportions before you buy the diamond. You should get the depth % and the table %. You can use these numbers do determine cut quality. One such site is http://www.gemappraisers.com/ where you can use these values to find out what cut grade you have.

 

[Dennis Nicholls]

Hey a little flaw can even add character.....

 

[DanMarquardt]

yes yes yes. cut has more to do with the sparkle than anything else. I mispoke a bit. the cut is something shadier places like to hide faults and shortcomings. the math/history behind it is pretty nifty if you are into that kind of thing.

but I'd still skimp on color of any of the four c's. it's the easiest one to deal with imho.

and make sure you have a gem that is GIA certified (or it's equivalent, I think there is a competing certification center). it's easier to trace and get insured that way.

and MAKE SURE YOU GET INSURANCE. do it as soon as you get the receipt.

every woman is different of course, some like surprises, some don't. I actually had the shopping trip with nothing but women: two mom's, an aunt, a cousin, a grandma and a fiance. that was a pretty interesting day!

 

[SteveA]

If you want to get the most bang for your buck, I highly recommend BlueNile.com. The site is an excellent resource for learning about the 4 "c's" of diamonds, but also offers very reasonable prices on good stones. Having been through 2 engagements (one successful!), I know more than I care to know about diamonds! Several of my friends have also used Blue Nile. It beats the crap out of dealing with the pushy salespeople and ridiculous prices of the retail stores (especially chain stores in the malls).

 

[Brett_H]

Vince,




My wife and I both share your opinion of yellow gold, so we were looking for something that looked like silver. Her ring is white gold, mostly because platinum was around twice the cost and I wanted my available funds to go towards the stone. Never really looked into silver, and to be honest I don't remember why...

For my band I chose titanium because it's light, it;s not yellow gold, and partially because I'm just a geek! It seemed like a cool new thing to have, and it had the added bonus of being really cheap (I'm pretty sure it was